1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    Mum has finally got her assessment by the psychiatrist I got a phone call today and it is taking place tomorrow. morning. I feel relieved but scared at the same time. Can anyone tell me what actually happens at this stage and what to expect. should my brother and I be there with her.

    I am frightened because mum is in such denial I am worried that she will not comply or even communicate with the psychiatrist at all. Some of this is probably due to the illness itself, but mum can be so bloody minded when she wants to be. Still, I suppose they will have seen it all before.

    When we had the 5 week assessment from social services for the intermediary care, she walked out because she thought we were all plotting to get her put in a home, and she thought they had "come for her".

    Any advice would be appreciated

    Thanks.

    Maggie xx
     
  2. zan

    zan Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    96
    staffordshire
    When my Dad had his initial assessment, he was asked questions for a memory test by a nurse who also had a chat with him . I was asked to fill in a questionnaire about what Dad could and couldn't do, so I think that it is important that you or your brother go with your Mum. As your Mum is quite likely to say everything is fine they will need to hear from you what is really going on. We had to go to the memory clinic for this assessment and everybody there was very nice and understanding and treated Dad with respect and dignity. I hope all goes well for you. Zan
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Maggie, good luck with the assessment. As Zan says, they will ask your Mum questions and also yourself. It is not uncommon for the person suffering to be in complete denial, they will have much experience in dealing with this and how to assess the situation as it really is I am sure. Please let us know how you get on and try not to worry. By getting this done, you are going to get into the system and start to be able to get the help she needs when it is time to. Love She. XX
     
  4. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    quote Maggie
    Still, I suppose they will have seen it all before

    Dear Maggie
    you have hit the nail on the head they have,so don't worry.
    What seems now like a hundred years ago my Peg was referred to a psychologist folowing her original assessment.
    The interview did not last long.
    Peg informed the psychologist that she was not prepared to answer any more of her silly questions,it was a waste of time to both of them.
    Happy days
    Norman
     
  5. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    Thanks everyone, especially Norman. I expect mum to say more or less just what Peg said (but maybe not quite so politely!!)

    I will let you know, later, the assessment is sometime this morning between 9.30 and 12.30.

    Love

    Maggie xx
     
  6. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    Don't know if any one is interested but just thought I would update you.

    Mum's assessment has been done and I can honestly say it was not as bad as I had been fearing. I think you spend so much time explaing to people what is wrong , that when someone comes along who knows and understands, it is hard.

    The Dr had a chat with us whilst mum was out (my sister in law came and took mum and her little dog for a walk for half an hour) then when they came back we sat with her whilst the Dr went through her history and just appeared to be talking to her, but was obviously quizzing her, then he went through all the simple tests, and we were almost willing her to pass them, almost like a child having a development test. Sadly she did not do too well, but she seemed to be pleased with herself and asked us had she done well, and on some occasions did actually make the Dr laugh and chuckle with her.

    Anyway, the position is she is being referred for further blood and urine tests, also brain scan and the doc has prescribed some anti depressants together with a drug to make her less anxious as he said she seems quite anxious and agitated. He is also to refer to "his team "(social services, CPN etc).

    We feel better now the assessment has been done, and hopefully once we have the prescription and mum starts taking this further :eek: medication we may even see some improvement. Fingers crossed eh!!!

    Love

    Maggie x x
     
  7. jks

    jks Registered User

    Jul 2, 2005
    67
    West Yorkshire
    Hi Maggie

    Glad it went OK, these things are seldom as bad as we think they're going to be.

    When my Dad was assessed, I remember that many of the questions were sort of slid into the conversation, rather than asked outright, which would have got his back up from the start!

    All the best,
    jks
     
  8. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Maggie, it sounds like you have a nice, patient Doctor. I'm glad it went well, anyway.

    Funny, sometimes the things you spend weeks dreading go off all right, and then something which should be no problem at all turns out to be a nightmare!

    Best wishes
     
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Maggie, glad its over for you. It is very scary, half of you wants to protect them from any awful diagnoses of dementia, the other half knows you desperately need to know what lies ahead so you can make plans for her safety, nightmare I know! The tests she is still to have will show up any other reasons for her problems. Once they have all the facts, then a diagnoses can be made and possible treatment arranged. Love She. XX
     
  10. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Maggie
    so glad it went well for you.
    It seems that you have some good people and a good Dr.
    It's really strange how the support varies so much from different areas of the country.
    Norman
     
  11. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    #11 maggier, Feb 2, 2006
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2006
    Thanks everyone for all your support. I have never posted on any other site before, but it is good to know this one is here and you lovely people are guaranteed to make me feel better, even by just reading other people's posts. I know we have a long way to go with mum, and things are quite good at the moment really (well most of the time) and we are managing between us to care for her, but it still helps to plan for the future as much as you can, just by reading through other people's experiences on here.

    Thanks again.

    Love

    Maggie x x


    P.S. Yes, The doctor was really nice and gained mums trust straight away and he didn't "question her" he just managed to slip the questions into a conversation with her. He told her that the GP had asked him to call as he was worried about mums "memory" problems.
    She didn't mind that at all, and admitted she was having problems remembering some things
     
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Maggier
    I'm so glad things went as well as possible.

    I know some folks don't agree, but I always spoke to my wife of her 'memory problems', and never ever mentioned 'dementia' or "Alzheimer's", and I told the doctors to do the same. I believe she would have been very distressed to have been told outright what her problem was/is.
     
  13. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    now that we have got the assessment bit out of the way, what role does a CPN have. What can and should we expect from this person just so that we know in advance. Can anyone tell me please.

    Also, to Brucie, yes, my mum would be very distressed and would probably give up, if she knew exactly what was wrong with her. I don't feel bad by not telling her, and am surprised that she has even admitted to having memory problems

    Look forward to hearing from anybody ( or everybody)

    Cheers

    MAggie x x
     
  14. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Maggie, thanks so much for your reply, above. You are the first person who has echoed my own feelings and actions. It helped me!

    The frequent line taken is "they should be told" and "you don't have the right to withhold this". It will, of course, depend on the person [patient] concerned, as does just about everything that is related to the area of dementia. The first line care person, when a very close relative, can usually be trusted to be the best judge.

    In my opinion.
     
  15. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Dear Maggie
    we have always spoken of Peg's memory problems,we joke about it and we often tell friends that wa only have one memory between us!!
    Peg's isnn't much good so she shares mine.
    CPNs I hope they are more plentyful where you are ,we have one to to cover a very large area,we see her when she can find time which isn't very often.
    I am sure should we need her she would be there for us.
    Norman
     
  16. twink

    twink Registered User

    Oct 28, 2005
    265
    Cambridgeshire UK
    memory problems

    Just to add that I too always say to Steve your "memory problems" and not your alzheimer's. He knows he has it and the psychiatrist said to him quite plainly "THERE IS NO CURE" the last time we saw him but I don't think Steve believes it or he has forgotten. He takes his tablets and as far as I am aware, he thinks that they will help a great deal and I'm not telling him they might not.

    Twink/Sue
     
  17. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    Glad we agree Brucie. I think we have every right to withold this, we know mum best and we know what she was like before this illness and we KNOW she would be devastated to think she was not in control any more. She is not being harmed by not knowing, so we feel we are protecting her as much as we can from the harsh reality, and therefore she is more able to cope if she thinks it is just her memory letting her down, and she will probably be more amenable to our help and help from outside, if she thinks is is just a memory problem she has

    Love

    Maggie x x
     

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