Registered User
Feb 19, 2019
Hi all
I care for but do not live with my mum who had an Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia diagnosis two years ago. Recently she has had ‘accidents’ and wet herself. This obviously distresses her at the time and I have been very matter of fact about it and dealt with the washing etc. However, she forgets of course and is denying it is happening. Every time I’m there I have to take several pairs of trousers in the wash and explain that they’re smelly as she has just dried them off and rehung them in the wardrobe. Oddly she is washing knickers all the time but not trousers. She’s not keen to go to the GP to see if it is an UTI. Can buy pads though not sure which ones and anyway how is she going to remember to put them on and change them? Any thoughts?


Registered User
May 25, 2016
channel islands
We started getting the same with accidents - I buy Tena Lady pants be warned the large are large - medium is plenty big enough for even a larger lady. I took away all the normal pants and just replaced them with these. I also leave a clean pair in the bathroom and get the carers to remind her to change them if she hasn't remembered do you have any help yet? If you might need to do the same and not leave her with a choice. I am sure others on TP will give you some good advice as well. Sadly we do not have Aldi her so I'm stuck with bulk order on Amazon!
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Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016

I had exactly this problem with my dad and I didn’t live with him. I did live close enough to pop in regularly and I put his incontinence pads in his pants before I put them away. This worked if he didn’t take them out and while there were only smallish leaks. Eventually he needed pull-ups. Aldi do both the pads and pull-ups much cheaper than elsewhere and they’re good.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
I agree with pull ups. If she is washing knickers ok you could consider the Cotton equivalent of pull ups? Better for the purse, environment and not so ‘foreign’ for older people.
Could you obtain a form to get her urine tested from the GP with a sample pot?
Then lift the toilet seat.
Use sheets and sheets of cling film to make a well inside the toilet bowl.
Put the toilet seat back down and wait until she next urinates?
Then fill your sample bottle and take it straight to the GP for testing.
Check with the GP what time of day the samples are collected?


Registered User
Feb 19, 2019
Thanks for replies. Donkeyshere - I was considering the pants but she is still denying there's a problem despite 'accidents' and (frankly) smelly trousers she has just dried on the radiator. Sadly her sense of smell seems to have gone so I keep having to say - trust me - these need washing. I'm not sure she';d accept pants or indeed pads. We don't have care workers going in yet - my dad lives with her though he is pretty rubbish at most aspects of caring and would definitely be terrible dealing with this.

Bonpoots - , thanks for the tip about Aldi if we get to the stage where pads or pants are gonna work.

Weasell - Very ingenious! However, I don't need to be that clever as I have talked to mum today about possibility of it only being a UTI though I'm not optimistic - it is technically possible. She's agreed to get urine tested and I picked up a sample pot on the way home tonight so we'll be checking that soon. It would be FANTASTIC if it were just an infection......