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Impossible housing

kimberf2

Registered User
Mar 7, 2016
5
I am new and looking for some advice. I have a 1 bed council property and so does my mum. My mum has vasular dementia. 2 years ago she went into hosiptal after falling and has got worse practically no short term memory which made her living alone dangerous. I moved in to care for her. I stilll have my flat but I liver at her houses sleeping on the sofa. I contacted the housing associations both of ours to try to give up both of our 1 bedrooms for a 2 bedroom. The housing officer visited and was positive, but now over a year later we still haven't heard anything and are now being told there is nothing to be done. I cant go on much longer and mum cant be left on her own as she forgets also immediately has mood swings and wouldnt get out of bed if i didnt spend hours coaxing her to. Can anyone make any suggesstions as to what I can do to try to make both of oour lives better?
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,707
North West
Welcome to TP kimderf2. The situation you describe must be very difficult for you.

Would it be possible for you to involve your GP or your mum's SW, if she has one, in putting pressure on the housing associations? This must be having an effect on your health as you say you can't go on much longer. So the point needs to be made that both you and your mum are vulnerable people and that you will both be at risk if this housing issue is not sorted out quickly.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,579
Bristol
We have applied for Extra Support Housing, which is like sheltered housing but more so. The application form was completed by a social Worker and is a separate waiting list from other social housing. I don't know if it is available where you live kim, but I would start by contacting your local Social Services if you have not already done so.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
19,936
North Manchester
If both the properties are in the same local authority, and especially if they are in the same ward, try contacting the local councillor(s).
It's getting near May and they will be eager to help.
 

jojop

Registered User
Nov 9, 2013
66
SE London
Hi,
I am in a similar position too, I moved in with mum 3 years ago after she was in hospital for 6 weeks, to look after her and my sister. She has a 2 bedroom council flat, mum sleeps on a hospital type bed which is in the front room. She is in middle to late stages of mixed dementia and sometimes now prefers to stay in bed or on top of it during day for a few hours. We are able to keep the family environment this way.

I did consider trying for a 3 bedroom flat but the disruption to mum would have been too much. Also I had to consider the effect on my sister, and in the long term would a further move be needed to down size - bedroom tax.

The arrangement works well, fortunately the living room is large enough, sometimes I sleep on the sofa if mum is unwell or anxious.

It isn't always easy, I gave up my own 2 bedroom flat and still miss having my own space.
Would a similar option work for you and your mum?
Best wishes, Jo
 

kimberf2

Registered User
Mar 7, 2016
5
Many thanks will visit these options

Hi,
I am in a similar position too, I moved in with mum 3 years ago after she was in hospital for 6 weeks, to look after her and my sister. She has a 2 bedroom council flat, mum sleeps on a hospital type bed which is in the front room. She is in middle to late stages of mixed dementia and sometimes now prefers to stay in bed or on top of it during day for a few hours. We are able to keep the family environment this way.

I did consider trying for a 3 bedroom flat but the disruption to mum would have been too much. Also I had to consider the effect on my sister, and in the long term would a further move be needed to down size - bedroom tax.

The arrangement works well, fortunately the living room is large enough, sometimes I sleep on the sofa if mum is unwell or anxious.

It isn't always easy, I gave up my own 2 bedroom flat and still miss having my own space.
Would a similar option work for you and your mum?
Best wishes, Jo[/QUOTE

Thanks Jo, can just get a 2 seater sofa so a bed would not fit and its open plan so the kitchen (albeit tiny) is open to as well so it wouldn't really work for us, but thanks.
 

kimberf2

Registered User
Mar 7, 2016
5
If both the properties are in the same local authority, and especially if they are in the same ward, try contacting the local councillor(s).
It's getting near May and they will be eager to help.
Great idea - will try that.
 

kimberf2

Registered User
Mar 7, 2016
5
Welcome to TP kimderf2. The situation you describe must be very difficult for you.

Would it be possible for you to involve your GP or your mum's SW, if she has one, in putting pressure on the housing associations? This must be having an effect on your health as you say you can't go on much longer. So the point needs to be made that both you and your mum are vulnerable people and that you will both be at risk if this housing issue is not sorted out quickly.
GP has already written to SS but will follow up
 

kimberf2

Registered User
Mar 7, 2016
5
We have applied for Extra Support Housing, which is like sheltered housing but more so. The application form was completed by a social Worker and is a separate waiting list from other social housing. I don't know if it is available where you live kim, but I would start by contacting your local Social Services if you have not already done so.
many thanks never heard of this before but will investigate.