I'm new to posting on TP but have found other's post comforting in that I am not alone in dealing with this awful cruel disease. Both mum and dad have it, to different degrees but both have deteriorated a lot very quickly. They live alone with carer's visiting 4 times a day but mum finds this invasive, and often tells them to leave or refuses to eat or have meds. She gets jealous of the carers who are pleasant and chirpy with Dad, and spends several hours a day accusing day of fancying them, having affairs with them, plotting to get rid of her. This is due to dad adding to her insecurities sometimes deliberately saying things to fuel the fire. Dad has cognitive impairment, and always says the wrong things, sometimes deliberately to wind mum up as some sort of revenge. He threatens to have mum locked up if she carries on accusing him, and this is her worst fear. He ignores her now most of the time and this understandably frustrates mum. They are housebound except for when I can take them out. They can't read due to being both partially sighted, dad just watches TV while mum has her delusions to cope with. They argue incessantly, ringing me up several times a day and now in the middle of the night. I suspect there may physical and verbal outbursts which would amount to abuse from both parties Dad had a TIA, then got ill on top of that, and is in hospital. Mum cannot cope, she cannot do anything for herself, is pretrified of anyone coming to the door, has virtually no short term memory, can't use the phone or lock or unlock a door. Basically totally reliant on others. Both are very unsafe physically and mum has fallen twice recently and dad's mobility is extremely poor. So dad's hoping to come home soon and says mum has to change, as he can't cope with her. Mum wants dad home. The reason he got so ill was he was so exhausted dealing with mum and often rang me for help, but they won't be separated. married 47 years. I fear for each of them, they don't work together, yet they don't want to be apart. Mum leaves the front door open, goes up stairs in the middle of the night even though she is very unstable on her feet and has no need to as her bedroom and bathroom are on the ground floor. SHe wanders around the house agitated following dad everywhere. They are terribly unhappy, but both won't do anything at all to help themselves. Turned down all the options of daycare, visiting service etc Who decides what happens to them, I have LPA for mum, and need to register dads. I feel this is such a massive decision for a daughter to make. I feel they need residential care, either together or apart. Together they would just fall out. I have no answers but I know if nothing is done then a disaster is imminent. How do I deal with this? They would never forgive me if they were separated but as soon as they are together again they will fight like cat and dog. Who should make this decision?