Hi
@gentle giant
As well as the memory lapses and repeating herself, my wife also stopped washing her hair, changing underwear etc. I first became aware when I realised that there were none of her items in the washing basket. Then even her mother commented that her hair was looking greasy, to which my wife reacted rather crossly.
I was at least eventually able to get her to the doctors and it took almost a year before she was diagnosed with dementia (FTD).
Like many folk on this forum, I suspect, I developed various coping strategies. For instance, whilst she was in the shower, I would swap her knickers for clean ones and put worn clothes in the washing basket, which she didn't seem to notice.
So I gradually took over doing things like the housework, personal care etc, as her capabilities declined. It was tough having to learn how to cook, use the oven and washing machine after years of being looked after so well.
At least when the changes first became more noticeable, I had just taken early retirement (was 59 then). The upside was that I was able to take on these additional tasks but the downside was the feeling of being trapped - plus of course, the anticipatory grief of what lay ahead, shattered dreams etc, etc.
So 5+ years later, the only way I have coped (so far, at least), is to seek out opportunities for respite. She has a respite visitor every Monday for 3 hours, Tuesdays at a dementia "activity morning" and she goes to a day centre on Wednesdays. I also "adopted" a local pub in the town - something we had never done before, but as her awareness diminished, I was able to get away with.
The new friends we have made there, have truly been my saviours.
Of course, I realise that your situation is different, but I hope that you will be able to develop your own ways of coping. I have been thankful for all the good advice available from the lovely people here on Talking Point, so keep posting and good luck.
Best wishes
Phil