I'm struggling a bit

[Helen33]

Yesterday was dreadful. It started off very well but whilst I was working and Alan was with the sitter, he became highly agitated and kept wondering where I'd gone I could hear some disturbance. The sitter was like a wet weekend and didn't have a clue about what to do I won't go into all the details but, trust me,what was happening really cannot continue.

It has really upset my inner harmony that I have worked so hard to find again (it lasted about a week - maybe less). I am in such a dark, miserable, unhappy, worried place and I am so short on patience.

My tooth has broken and it is a top right tooth that affects me cosmetically It has to be removed as well as the one next to it and I am not sure that a side denture will be possible. I have no pain - yet!!

I had to wash my hair this morning and remembered that yesterday I washed Alan's hair and now I am wondering whether that upset his own equilibrium and led to his heightened agitation and confusion? Who knows!

If anyone from TP saw me today I think they would think I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Love

 

[julieann15]

Dear Helen
So sorry to read that you are in a dark space at the moment. It's horrible when you break a tooth too.
Just wanted to send you a big hug

Love Julie xx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Helen, I'm really sorry you are feeling low at the moment.
Firstly, is the carer new? I'd be more inclined to think that something happened with the carer, which s/he didn't deal with too well, than that the hair wash upset Alan. Hairwashes are nice soothing enjoyable events, by and large.

I'm sorry too about the tooth. I too had to have a broken upper right tooth removed recently. It does make me look a bit sinister but I try to avoid smiling on that side, or if I do, I turn my head away so as not to frighten the horses.

I was told that I could have a small denture which they said would 'clip' on. They referred to it as a 'sticky' for some reason, but I haven't got round to doing anything about it yet.

They were trying to get me to go for a proper bridge when the next teeth crumble away,eek but it is very expensive I think.

If you are very worried about the gap, I would ask them about the 'clip' type of denture, to see if it is feasible.


I hope your spirits lift soon.
Sending a hug,
Deborah

 

[Michele]

Dear Helen,

I am sorry you are feeling low at the moment.

I am sending you a big big ((hug)) to help you through.

Take care of yourself.

Love
Michele
xx

 

[sad nell]

Helen its usually you, giving everyone support, wish i could think of something to rause your spirits, fitting work around caring for someone with dementia, is no mean fete, i have been at the point of giving work up on many occasions, but think i would regret it and not only financily, but it gives me something other than Ad to put my energy into and can be rewardig which i imagine your councilling work does for you, i am around all day if you need to chat, love pam

 

[Grannie G]

I`m sorry you`re struggling Helen.
You set yourself high standards and perhaps see yourself as failing when you don`t meet those standards. But 24/7 caring for dementia requires every ounce of energy, patience and strength and sometimes it is just too much .
And when the final straw is laid, the camel`s back is broken by a broken tooth. Another appointment to make, another phone call another hassle.
Without dementia I`m sure we have all managed to ride upsets in our lives.
Living with dementia makes everything 100 times harder.

 

[milly123]

helen sorry to hear things are not going well at the moment an expierence carer should be able to cope with almost all expierences but i know myself out of character things do happen and to break a tooth as well you must be feeling low hope the rest of the week is better for you milly

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Helen,

So sorry to read you had a bad day yesterday and are feeling low to-day. One's patience is always in short supply when feeling worried and unhappy. I do hope you begin to feel a little better as the day goes on.

And to break a tooth as well must have seemed like the icing on the cake. Not. Don't worry too much about the dental stuff: it's wonderful what they can do. I have an almost complete upper denture suspended from just clips on two teeth. No fixative. 'S magic! Don't leave getting yours sorted too long. That'll give you a little boost as well.

Love, Nan XXX

 

[sue38]

Hi Helen

I'm sorry you're feeling down. This disease is really a rollercoaster of emotions, and I speak only as a daughter, not as someone who lives 24/7 with it.

Do you have anything to look forward to? If not, arrange something pronto! (and I don't mean a visit to the dentist. )

 

[Bookworm]

Dear Helen

Well - what can I say to help you feel just a tiny bit better - just that you are special to me and I really feel for you - tiny tears pricking eyes thinking of you needing a hug and I can only give a virtual one. I'd hope for a bridge one day - maybe not as first step. I hate teeth things - my tongue can't resist checking it out - so I hope for a speedy resolution.

The inner peace - well i just feel it took a week to come back last time - but it can come back in an instant if something you didn't expect to be sorted suddenly is made right......

Look for the little things that show how special you are - the things with your work that only you are made for and can do perfectly. Today i helped a visitor to the house (daughter being taught music) to get tomorrow afternoon off for her daughter's prize day when she thought she had to be at Uni - simply because of having the number of the lecturer...

You are like that - the right person in the right place so often....I'm not sure if you feel like the right person in the wrong place or the wrong person in the wrong place...... but i so look forward to seeing your usual self back, xoxo

 

[Izzy]

Helen - just adding to what everyone else has said. You're so strong for everyone else and now life is being hard for you. I hope you find things looking up soon. Izzy x

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Helen,
Everything comes in waves, doesn't it? As for the tooth, I know a great deal about teeth, having had a lot of work done on mine. Is it not possible to get the teeth capped? If pain is a possibility, perhaps a root canal first then caps. I would definitely recommend a root canal first because, as I found out the hard way, a tooth may require a root canal after a cap is put on and it's a big expensive pain in the neck.

I also have two implants - my two lower back right molars were replaced. It's very expensive but I have a 'thing' about my teeth and will do almost anything to avoid dentures. I spend a lot of time, effort and money on my teeth. Next on my list is getting them bleached and the four front top teeth capped because I have a big gap between my front teeth. Which gap I never had until my early 40s, because I also have periodontal disease. I get my teeth cleaned & scaled 4 times a year, every day I rubber tip, floss and brush. My essential problem is that I picked the wrong ancestors.

Sorry, I got carried away again.

 

[gigi]

Love and hugs Helen....

Stay strong...things change so quickly with Dementia it's impossible to control life at times.

But it does settle down again...make the most of it when it does.

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Oh Helen - how I feel for you and I can actually picture your situation - all I truly know is'if YOU are struggling' and admit it then YOU ARE STRUGGLING!!

Are your CPNs or SWs reading this cos I am trying to tell them something?

When is your next weekend of respite due? - I think you are ready. I dont mind seeing you with half a tooth missing.

Love Jan

 

[nellbelles]

Helen

Sorry you are having a rough time

I am in sympathy about the tooth, I have a broken tooth and a filling that fell out and two gaps that need bridges:

So am sending you the tooth fairy

 

[Helen33]

Hello friends

I could hardly read your replies without the tears dropping because you have all really touched me

Alan has been a lot more confused but I think I haven't helped matters by being so desperate and frightened and trying desperately to get him to understand reason which he can't. Once I calmed down, I was able to do the things that help him rather than hinder him. There are times that I really worry about myself as a carer - I feel that I could really crack up at times. I just thank goodness that I don't feel like this too often.

Regarding the tooth, I will get it sorted. My mouth is the most expensive part of me but the dentist says that because of a genetic gum problem, I have gone beyond what money can buy
I was so down this morning that I was beyond caring.

Tonight I had laptop problems because I was trying to download Nero 9 as a free download and everything got stuck.

I can't express how much your support has meant to me -thank you

Love to you all x

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Helen

So sorry to hear about the rough time you have been having,i hope today was more settled.We are all having trouble with our teeth,i have a tooth that is capped and it fell out,waiting on a cancelation for the dentist,hope you get your sorted out soon take care Marian xx

 

[larivy]

dear helen really sorry you have had a bad day i hope the evening has been better for you and that things improve tomorrow. you are my partner in crime so i hope your soon feeling better great big massive hugs larivy

 

[Starshine]

Hi Helen
TEETH ughhhhhhh I hate em, that is bound to be upsetting you even more!!! OK only gone into teeth cos I truly truly hate dental problems. BUT I am truly feeling for you too, you were one of my very first contacts on TP seems an age ago now, and you may have answered my initial log in ID's. You helped me no end even if it was just reading your posts and replies etc so I am praying that you again become strong for yourself as you have been so strong and helpful for all of us. I only wish you were closer to my area, I could console you properly or even with a practical 2nd hand of help. Plus I am useless with sending pretty poses and smilies etc etc Computers and me just don't go together. But my virtual hugs are yours just now. You look after yourself - its too dark a place to be for you just now.
Starshine x

 

[Helen33]

its too dark a place to be for you just now.

And you have just sprinkled some starshine into the darkness and perhaps a bit of sunshine too Thank you

Love