Im really baffeled.................


Registered User
Mar 27, 2006
Hi all ive been reading some posts and looking at some web sites and ive noticed some things thats really making me think. Some people post on here about the final stages of the disease and even some people have posted articles on you tube, the thing is ive noticed most of these people in the final stages can still be vocal and some still mobile. The thing is with my mum its gone from the confusement to basically now her being totally imobile,emotionless,cant talk she is like a statue. So im wondering is there more to mums illness ???? im not comparing your loved ones to mum by the way im just really unsettled and its driving me mad. I even questioned to myself has mum got A.D ??

All the best



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Mark,

I really don't think there's anything unusual about your mum's condition.

Every case of dementia is different, but usually the end stage involves all the symptoms you mention.

If you read my posts about John, Connie's about Lionel, and Bruce's about Jan, you will realise that they are all more or less in that condition. All you can do is make the most of the good days.

All the best,


Registered User
Apr 30, 2007
Hi Mark,
My mum doesnt recognise me anymore,she doesnt speak at all & i never see any emotion in her eyes when i look at her.The last time i visited i tryed so hard to make eye contact but she became agressive & pushed me away.Mum has always had a placid personality & was always so soft & caring.I never seem to see any other residents who cant speak,im sure there must be but it just feels like its my mum.It can drive me crazy wondering all the time & makes me so sad that ill never have a conversation with her again.Im sorry your going through this too.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
HI Mark

The brain is a wonderful organ. So wonderful that we do not yet understand it.

My Mother has vascular dementia and I was warned at an early stage that she may remember me until very very late in the illness. This is indeed what has happened. For others they lose recognition and other faculties earlier. In some dementias it can be speech and verbal functioning.

My understanding is that it is all dependent upon the areas of the brain that are damaged and how much compensatory action the brain can take depending upon spare capacity (the brain has a lot!) and how fast the disease progresses.

For every patient it is an individual journey.



Registered User
Oct 16, 2007
manchester, uk
Hi Mark

When my Nanna was in the final stages, it was as if she were in a coma. She just lay there, her eyes were empty, she did not speak, eat or drink. Infact she didn't move at all on her own. :(

I am so sorry you are going through this stage it is just so cruel. My thoughts are with you Mark.

All I can say is please keep posting as much as you need to, it really does help.

Take care of yourself.


Registered User
Aug 11, 2006
Margate, Kent.
Dear Clare.
I was very interested in your reply. My aunt is also at the stage where she has a vacant look in her eyes, is bed ridden and hasn't eaten (even Ensure) for quite some while. Now she is refusing to drink. It has been three days now without any fluids and I'm worried sick! I try to give her water, but she just gags on it and it trickles down her face. She is managing to be vocal, but it is garbled and I can't understand her. The Doc has been twice in the last few days and he said to prepare for the worst. He has given me pain patches to put on her stomache, but he didn't say for WHAT pain??? Would that be stomach pain from not eating? She hasn't given me indication of pain. How much longer can she go without fluids?? She is 93 and as thin as a rake. Please help with some advice if you can.
Much love to all.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Jilly.

I`m sorry you are going through such trauma. I think you are wonderful the way you have cared for your Aunt, right to the end.

If she can no longer drink, just keep moistening her lips, wipe her face with a face cloth wrung out in warm water, let her know she`s not alone and keep her as comfortable as possible.

Take care xx


Registered User
Aug 11, 2006
Margate, Kent.
To dear Sylvia.
My aunt passed away tonight.
I'm just going to start a new thread to thank everyone for their help and kindness.
With my love