After three weeks of lockdown, my husband died in the care home on Saturday morning, I was unable to be with him.
His breathing had got worse and he died before the paramedics were able to get there, the only consolation is that he died in his own bed with staff who cared for him holding his hands. That day all the staff who were on duty said goodbye to him, I could not.
I am trying to arrange his funeral at the moment, I can't get the death certificate from the doctor because it is being sent directly to the Registrar, I don't know what he died from as he wasn't displaying any symptoms of the virus.
As far as the funeral is concerned, after speaking to the undertaker I can't see him in the Chapel of Rest, I am not allowed to take his clothes in and although I have paid for a funeral plan they will not provide a car only the hearse, I have to make my own way there, alone.
The new rules are that the coffin will be behind the curtains so that you can't go near it. You can have a service but I would be the only person there, as family live abroad and can't get back. I have opted for the direct cremation which simply means he will be cremated and I 'll be informed when that ashes are ready, but they will hold them until better times.
I am devastated, I feel that I have let him down and just parcelled him up but I know that if I had to stand in the crematorium on my own it would destroy me. However, I totally understand why these measures are in place but it doesn't make it any easier.
Since November 2015 I have visited him almost every day and I wonder in the lockdown if he felt I had deserted him and just gave up, that thought torments me. We always had a 'sparky' relationship but he was the love of my life and most certainly a force to be reckoned with, a larger than life character. Dementia took him and now after 40 years, I can't say goodbye.
Stay safe.
Kathy
His breathing had got worse and he died before the paramedics were able to get there, the only consolation is that he died in his own bed with staff who cared for him holding his hands. That day all the staff who were on duty said goodbye to him, I could not.
I am trying to arrange his funeral at the moment, I can't get the death certificate from the doctor because it is being sent directly to the Registrar, I don't know what he died from as he wasn't displaying any symptoms of the virus.
As far as the funeral is concerned, after speaking to the undertaker I can't see him in the Chapel of Rest, I am not allowed to take his clothes in and although I have paid for a funeral plan they will not provide a car only the hearse, I have to make my own way there, alone.
The new rules are that the coffin will be behind the curtains so that you can't go near it. You can have a service but I would be the only person there, as family live abroad and can't get back. I have opted for the direct cremation which simply means he will be cremated and I 'll be informed when that ashes are ready, but they will hold them until better times.
I am devastated, I feel that I have let him down and just parcelled him up but I know that if I had to stand in the crematorium on my own it would destroy me. However, I totally understand why these measures are in place but it doesn't make it any easier.
Since November 2015 I have visited him almost every day and I wonder in the lockdown if he felt I had deserted him and just gave up, that thought torments me. We always had a 'sparky' relationship but he was the love of my life and most certainly a force to be reckoned with, a larger than life character. Dementia took him and now after 40 years, I can't say goodbye.
Stay safe.
Kathy