Hello everyone. I'm new to the group but not to the disease. I'm 58 and caring for my dad in his home. On weekends my wonderful daughter comes to give me a 24-48 hour break depending on her work schedule. My sister & her children come to visit occasionally & they do live 2 hours away but my sister told me since she's newly married & cares for her 1yr old grandson she cannot help care for dad. Her 2 daughters work so they have decided to see dad once and not come again bcz they don't want to remember him like this. I could say alot about that but lm not going to. That will be their karma to live with.
OK moving on dad is 88 lived alone until last Nov 12th when he woke up having a massive stroke in bed. For the last 4 yrs before that he had dementia ,CHF, a heart valve replacement, a Watchman procedure, a quadruple bypass, and Parkinsons, focal seizures, along w high BP & high cholesterol. But dad spent his whole life exercising and eating right. He is the first of 5 children to live this old. His father & 3 brothers died in their early 40s. His sister passed 2 yrs back. But dad's had alot of serious issues but he remained strong & fairly independent until 9 mo ago he had a seizure where he fell and hit his head w a brain bleed. Then Nov the stroke. While in the hospital the Dr's discovered he had a 80% blockage in his left carotid. They went in and cleared it out. After he came home his dementia kicked in hard he's now stage 5 going into 6. I moved in. We've been seeing Neuro, Cardiac, and his PC trying to treat all his symptoms. They put him on Keppra for seizures. But he kept having 1 a month. Til last week he had 4 seizures in 4 days and quits breathing for up to 3 minutes during them. He also has had 2 more falls not listening to me or my daughter trying to take off on his walker. Just last Friday night he fell backwards hitting his head on the dresser splitting his head wide open. I took him to the ER they put 4 staples in did MRIS & CAT scans. But he's not been himself in a long while but now he's like a 4 yr old child. At the hospital we learned the surgery to clear the left carotid has failed, it's starting to close off. None of his heart Dr's say there's anything left to be done now it's time for hospice.
So, l set up hospice and lm so grateful for the help. Dad was not sleeping at night. He was up every hr on the hour peeing or asking questions that made zero sense. So we were getting no sleep as well. I felt like l was going crazy. Dad has always been demanding along w adhd, add & major depression since l was a child. He's very morbid. It used to drive me crazy but now lm used to it. But what lm not used to is dad being mean or angry w me & my daughter. That's new. It's not like him. But hospice has set us up w sleeping medication & anxiety meds which it's only been 2 nights but lm in tears that we got real sleep w only 1 interruption. It's a real blessing for sure.
Dad's a Navy Vet he spent 8 yrs in 4 active w/ 4 i the reserves. He worked for Texas Instruments for 36 yrs as a electronic technician before retiring. He's really having a difficult time w this health decline. At times l think he knows he's running out of time and at other times he has this hope the Dr's will make him better. I just keep telling him today's not your day dad. Only God knows so let's keep trying to get on w/ living. I'm told the military VA has a caregiver/ sitter service if he qualifies. Going to discuss that w the hospice social worker.
I need advice on how not to lose my cool or what exercises l can do to regain my mental peace when all this gets to me. I'm easy going, loving and a empath so l feel his distress & confusion. Any tips on remaining calm and light hearted would be appreciated. Ty Kelly
OK moving on dad is 88 lived alone until last Nov 12th when he woke up having a massive stroke in bed. For the last 4 yrs before that he had dementia ,CHF, a heart valve replacement, a Watchman procedure, a quadruple bypass, and Parkinsons, focal seizures, along w high BP & high cholesterol. But dad spent his whole life exercising and eating right. He is the first of 5 children to live this old. His father & 3 brothers died in their early 40s. His sister passed 2 yrs back. But dad's had alot of serious issues but he remained strong & fairly independent until 9 mo ago he had a seizure where he fell and hit his head w a brain bleed. Then Nov the stroke. While in the hospital the Dr's discovered he had a 80% blockage in his left carotid. They went in and cleared it out. After he came home his dementia kicked in hard he's now stage 5 going into 6. I moved in. We've been seeing Neuro, Cardiac, and his PC trying to treat all his symptoms. They put him on Keppra for seizures. But he kept having 1 a month. Til last week he had 4 seizures in 4 days and quits breathing for up to 3 minutes during them. He also has had 2 more falls not listening to me or my daughter trying to take off on his walker. Just last Friday night he fell backwards hitting his head on the dresser splitting his head wide open. I took him to the ER they put 4 staples in did MRIS & CAT scans. But he's not been himself in a long while but now he's like a 4 yr old child. At the hospital we learned the surgery to clear the left carotid has failed, it's starting to close off. None of his heart Dr's say there's anything left to be done now it's time for hospice.
So, l set up hospice and lm so grateful for the help. Dad was not sleeping at night. He was up every hr on the hour peeing or asking questions that made zero sense. So we were getting no sleep as well. I felt like l was going crazy. Dad has always been demanding along w adhd, add & major depression since l was a child. He's very morbid. It used to drive me crazy but now lm used to it. But what lm not used to is dad being mean or angry w me & my daughter. That's new. It's not like him. But hospice has set us up w sleeping medication & anxiety meds which it's only been 2 nights but lm in tears that we got real sleep w only 1 interruption. It's a real blessing for sure.
Dad's a Navy Vet he spent 8 yrs in 4 active w/ 4 i the reserves. He worked for Texas Instruments for 36 yrs as a electronic technician before retiring. He's really having a difficult time w this health decline. At times l think he knows he's running out of time and at other times he has this hope the Dr's will make him better. I just keep telling him today's not your day dad. Only God knows so let's keep trying to get on w/ living. I'm told the military VA has a caregiver/ sitter service if he qualifies. Going to discuss that w the hospice social worker.
I need advice on how not to lose my cool or what exercises l can do to regain my mental peace when all this gets to me. I'm easy going, loving and a empath so l feel his distress & confusion. Any tips on remaining calm and light hearted would be appreciated. Ty Kelly
