I'm confused.....

[Goldleaf88]

Hi, I'm in the process of moving from Ireland to London to live with my aunt (84) who has dementia. I am a single parent and my daughter is 11. Huge changes for us. I want to apply for deputyship but I'm reading there maybe a conflict of interest if I'm living there. I am on low income but not claiming as I want to continue to do my online work while I care for my aunt. We are a split family but my younger bros, daughter and me are very close to my aunt. Her only daughter sadly died a couple of years ago and her decline set in. My distant older bros suddenly appeared shortly after her daughter died and stepped in to try and go for deputyship of property and finance. Fortunately we were with her when her doctor phoned making enquiries. Jump 6 months on and me and my daughter are moving back to care for her.
I'm really worried that I won't get deputyship because I live with her and low income, the LA steps in and puts her in a care home and me and my daughter are homeless..
Any advice would really help

 

[canary]

AFAIK, there is no problem with you living with your mum and having deputyship. The time there would be a problem is if you decided to use your mums money to pay yourself for looking after her - Im afraid you cant do that. You cant use deputyship to benefit yourself or your family - so if your brother got deputyship I dont think he would be able to pay you for looking after your mum either.

Have a word with Citizens Advice about what benefits you can claim whilst still doing online work. One thing that comes to mind is that if your aunt has Attendance Allowance (which she should - and its not means tested), then you could claim Carers Allowance which will still allow you to earn £116 a week.

BTW, Social Services try everything that they can to keep people with dementia in their own home, so try not to worry about that.

 

[Beate]

I really don't know why you would think that. A lot of people holding LPA or deputyship live with the people they care for and I don't see where the conflict of interest would be?

However, you have to think of your future too. There might come a time when a care home will be the best thing for your aunt, and as a deputy you are supposed to do what's in her best interest. Have you thought this through? As you say, it's a huge change for you, moving from another country, and you have a child too that has to adapt. Have you done a trial run to see what caring for your aunt 24/7 is actually like? Do you know what to do if you need help? Trust me, no one can look after another person without outside help for too long without having a breakdown. Social Services are not the enemy. They may not always be as competent or accommodating as we'd like them to be, but they put people in care homes only as a last resort. In fact, you moving in plays right into their hands because you are taking over a lot of their responsibility.

 

[BLIP]

Hi, I'm in the process of moving from Ireland to London to live with my aunt (84) who has dementia. I am a single parent and my daughter is 11. Huge changes for us. I want to apply for deputyship but I'm reading there maybe a conflict of interest if I'm living there. I am on low income but not claiming as I want to continue to do my online work while I care for my aunt. We are a split family but my younger bros, daughter and me are very close to my aunt. Her only daughter sadly died a couple of years ago and her decline set in. My distant older bros suddenly appeared shortly after her daughter died and stepped in to try and go for deputyship of property and finance. Fortunately we were with her when her doctor phoned making enquiries. Jump 6 months on and me and my daughter are moving back to care for her.
I'm really worried that I won't get deputyship because I live with her and low income, the LA steps in and puts her in a care home and me and my daughter are homeless..
Any advice would really help

Wow that's a really brave move. I also think you should have a trial run and now is the best time as its school holidays. What does your daughter think about it all ? London is so so different to Ireland I think it will be a culture shock apart from anything else. Your daughter is at that awkward age where she might hate you for taking her away from all her friends. Plus she will have to start a new school where the kids might not be the best influence. Of course she might love it but please make sure you weigh up all the pros and cons before making such a massive change to your lives. And most important of all you will be leaving your family and friends too and it's hardly on the doorstep is it ? I'm assuming your aunt hasn't got any siblings living ?

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Goldleaf88
a warm welcome to TP
it's kind of you to consider moving to support your aunt and I hope the applicztion for Deputyship works out
I too, though, wonder if you will face quite a few problems - London is an expensive place to live and you would be expected, as her Guardian, to only use her funds in her best financial interest and to keep scrupulous accounts to be presented to the OPG annually - so you would, I believe, be expected to pay your own expenses
your aunt may apply for Attendance Allowance, which is not means tested, it is granted on a needs basis - but this is to be used for her
a carer here who earns less than £116 a week can apply for Carer's Allowance, but I don't know about your eligibility coming from Ireland - you would need to look into your eligibility for any benefits here eg child allowance
should your aunt later move into a care home, I don't think you would have any right to remain in her property and again I am not sure how you would stand about being eligible for council support/housing
it can sound like such a good idea having a family member move to live with someone who has dementia, but if your aunt has been diagnosed for a while she may need much more care than you realise, and certainly will in the future - managing to work from home and provide the level of care she needs may be trickier than you realise eg constant interruptions, not being able to leave her on her own
have you contacted her Local Authority Adult Services to arrange an assessment of her care needs and have a care package put in place; it would be a good idea - the LA will prefer to keep your aunt in her own home for as long as possible, and are duty bound to act in her best interests - it may be worth putting home care in place and seeing how it goes

 

[Goldleaf88]

Thank you so much for your thoughts. Yes it's a big change...and one that I'm nervous about...my aunt already has a very good care plan in place with carers coming in 3 times a day. I read that if I was a paid carer I would not be able to apply for deputyship. Does paid carer mean getting carers allowance? I would have thought so? I'm thinking of renting out part of the house to top up care home fees when the time comes...

 

[canary]

Does paid carer mean getting carers allowance?

No, getting carers allowance is perfectly OK, because this is paid by the government and not by the person you are caring for.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Goldleaf88
Carer's Allowance is for unpaid carer's only - the 'paid' means a professional carer employed to provide the care for the person
please also consider that anyone living in your aunt's house would be required to pay market rate rent, including family - as her Deputy you would not be entitled to live there rent free, and rental rates in London are high

 

[canary]

as her Deputy you would not be entitled to live there rent free,

Im not sure that this applies to family who are there in order to care for that person, otherwise spouses would be required to pay rent!!!! However, I would check on that. You would certainly have to pay the market rent if you were living in the house after she moved into a care home, though.

 

[Beate]

You cannot be a paid carer to your aunt as deputies cannot profit from their role. So your only stream of income would be Carers Allowance (and maybe some other benefits but as a carer you cannot be available for job interviews and not earn more than £116 a week so it might be restricted to child benefit or something), and that is a pittance no one can live on on its own.

Please consider all this carefully, especially what will happen once you have to leave the house again - London is very expensive.

 

[Shedrech]

Im not sure that this applies to family who are there in order to care for that person, otherwise spouses would be required to pay rent!!!! However, I would check on that. You would certainly have to pay the market rent if you were living in the house after she moved into a care home, though.

I was writing of when her aunt moves into a care home and where 'family' is a child, grandchild, niece etc as Goldleaf88 mentioned 'when the time comes' in post #6
anyone living with her aunt would be expected to pay their own expenses and contribute to household expenses
'gratuitous payments' to family carers have been mentioned in past threads but I have not myself been able to understand how they might work, and such an arrangement would have to be discussed with the OPG beforehand

 

[kindred]

I really don't know why you would think that. A lot of people holding LPA or deputyship live with the people they care for and I don't see where the conflict of interest would be?

However, you have to think of your future too. There might come a time when a care home will be the best thing for your aunt, and as a deputy you are supposed to do what's in her best interest. Have you thought this through? As you say, it's a huge change for you, moving from another country, and you have a child too that has to adapt. Have you done a trial run to see what caring for your aunt 24/7 is actually like? Do you know what to do if you need help? Trust me, no one can look after another person without outside help for too long without having a breakdown. Social Services are not the enemy. They may not always be as competent or accommodating as we'd like them to be, but they put people in care homes only as a last resort. In fact, you moving in plays right into their hands because you are taking over a lot of their responsibility.

Beate, just to say how much I personally honour what you have said in this post. Thank you. warmest, Kindred.