Hi, my mum had recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. After 2 years of 3 visits to the Dr we finally decided to take it further and go to adult services. Social worker put care team in place 3 times a day but I feel it's not enough. She refuses to eat, had low blood sugar regular and needs more care. I really feel we not need extra care around the clock but social worker said he doesn't want to put her in residential as at 69 she is too young. Trying to keep a roof over my head and continue working but now I'm battling with my conscience feeling I should quit my job and behind her carer. I'm 50 myself and the thought of losing what independence I have is frightening. Hour can I get my mum in residential care without the social workers approval? Anyone any idea please?
Ignored and after 2 years diagnosed
- Thread starter Lisa69uk
- Start date
Hello @Lisa69uk and welcome to TP
Think very carefully about giving up work to be a full time carer it’s an enormous decision to make.
With regards to the care I’ve attached the link to the Alzheimer’s fact sheet about paying for care, I hope it helps
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
Think very carefully about giving up work to be a full time carer it’s an enormous decision to make.
With regards to the care I’ve attached the link to the Alzheimer’s fact sheet about paying for care, I hope it helps
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
Hello @Lisa69uk, welcome from me too.
It may be worth putting more pressure on SS. In my area I was told that, should the need arise, we could have up to 4 visits by carers each day. Also, I wonder if you have had an assessment by an OT as they may be able to offer some daily living aids that would assist independence for a while longer.
I take on board the SW's comment about your mum being too young for residential care. My wife was an early onset diagnosis and I have seen comments on the forum to the effect that people are lost in Care Homes at that stage. At the time of diagnosis my wife and I attended things like a memory café and found the people there to be a generation above us and the activities not to our liking as they were geared to that older age group.
It may be worth putting more pressure on SS. In my area I was told that, should the need arise, we could have up to 4 visits by carers each day. Also, I wonder if you have had an assessment by an OT as they may be able to offer some daily living aids that would assist independence for a while longer.
I take on board the SW's comment about your mum being too young for residential care. My wife was an early onset diagnosis and I have seen comments on the forum to the effect that people are lost in Care Homes at that stage. At the time of diagnosis my wife and I attended things like a memory café and found the people there to be a generation above us and the activities not to our liking as they were geared to that older age group.
I'm afraid that my cynical mind thinks the SW doesn't want to move her to a care home because she foresees her living for many years and so costing a lot of money. If she needs 24 hour care, it makes no difference whether she's 69 or 79. My mother's care home takes over-65s and I think(?) that is common to most dementia care homes.
If your mum is self funding you can move her to a care home without SS input. But it sounds as if she isn't self funding in which case you will have to put more pressure on SS to get her into a home funded by the local authority. They would far prefer you to save them money and trouble by doing the caring yourself, so unless you continue to pressurise them they will let you do it. Look at it this way - if you remove yourself from the equation as a potential carer, they would have no choice but to move her to residential care.
If your mum is self funding you can move her to a care home without SS input. But it sounds as if she isn't self funding in which case you will have to put more pressure on SS to get her into a home funded by the local authority. They would far prefer you to save them money and trouble by doing the caring yourself, so unless you continue to pressurise them they will let you do it. Look at it this way - if you remove yourself from the equation as a potential carer, they would have no choice but to move her to residential care.
Be very careful. I am currently morally supporting a relative who is 53 and stopped working to look after his father with Alzheimer’s and now his mother with Vas Dem. He has no money of his own and the authorities in NZ where he lives want the house sold to pay for his mothers care out of her half as she had to go into a care home. So he has no job, no savings and half a house.
Not a good scenario.
Not a good scenario.
My husband was diagnosed at 62 and entered a nursing home at 69. He was one of the younger ones of the 8 men on his floor and although everyone was at a different stage they all ‘ fitted ‘ together really well.
As Sirena says, whether 69 or 79 if care is needed it’s needed. It’s not how old you are but the level of care needed. I needs assessment would give a clearer picture of your mum’s needs and if the assessment showed she needed more care,then the Social Worker will have to act. It’s such a difficult time for you.
As Sirena says, whether 69 or 79 if care is needed it’s needed. It’s not how old you are but the level of care needed. I needs assessment would give a clearer picture of your mum’s needs and if the assessment showed she needed more care,then the Social Worker will have to act. It’s such a difficult time for you.
I was in your position last year, it isn’t easy but you have to build a case. Start logging any incidents the happen that can be attributed to lack of care or needing additional support. It sounds awful but if your PWD ends up in hospital at any point,even it if is not directly related insist on a carer assessment. They should do this anyway, but sometimes it doesn’t happen. This happen to us last year. After a lot of pushing, and asking my Mom now as carers four times a day ( she also as diabetes) that go in and support her plus a district nurse. Her life is much better, she is relatively happy. She as also started eating again. My point is that your may not need the nursing home yet, and with the right sort of support life can improve.
But you have to be prepared to fight,not in an aggressive way, but evidence what is happening and make sure SS really understand your situation.
Sorry I have gone on a bit, I hope this helps.
But you have to be prepared to fight,not in an aggressive way, but evidence what is happening and make sure SS really understand your situation.
Sorry I have gone on a bit, I hope this helps.
My mum was at home with carers but kept wandering outside. Social workers said she had to sign form to agree to go in home .
