If it were that simple....
- Thread starter PalSal
- Start date
When my dad started to lose mobility it was decided that someone would come and show him some simple exercises that he could do every day. I tried to point out the futility of this but went with it anyway.
The exercise lady used to ask me if dad had done all his exercises as he should have. No was usually the answer. I was then reprimanded for not getting him to do them as she always managed...
Until one morning when she arrived early and I wasn't there...
I gave her the keypad number so she could let herself in. She found dad in bed demanding hot water (in bed!) so he could have a shave before he got up. She phoned me and asked if this was what he normally did. I told her no and he had an electric razor.
When she finally persuaded him to get up he was wet so she helped him to change and left him with a cup of tea... Then phoned me to tell me she thought I needed more help!
Dad didn't get anymore exercise sessions after that...
The exercise lady used to ask me if dad had done all his exercises as he should have. No was usually the answer. I was then reprimanded for not getting him to do them as she always managed...
Until one morning when she arrived early and I wasn't there...
I gave her the keypad number so she could let herself in. She found dad in bed demanding hot water (in bed!) so he could have a shave before he got up. She phoned me and asked if this was what he normally did. I told her no and he had an electric razor.
When she finally persuaded him to get up he was wet so she helped him to change and left him with a cup of tea... Then phoned me to tell me she thought I needed more help!
Dad didn't get anymore exercise sessions after that...
Thank you Izzy,
these are the ones. I completed Understanding Dementia and I am now in the middle of Preventing Dementia,
I am at the point where it is being explained how headlines are misleading.
Understanding the facts behind the popular press claims is very helpful at dealing with wellmeaning people, albeit kindly.
Foolishly I am doing the Dysphagia one at the same time as the dates clashed. This is the swallow problem that my husband has.
With this course I want to extract the information that will help me care better, I am not looking to improve my CV!
So I hope I may skip a few bits, if I can without compromising the knowledge I need.
If people look at FutureLearn they may find useful courses.
I just did one on Radical Spirituality, I was on home ground, this was for pleasure and I really enjoyed the lively debate, the adult conversation that many of us miss.
When I have the duty courses out of the way I will find similar ones, for pleasure.
It does take me out of myself and situation. It takes a different energy too.
Some universities offer MOOC I think it stands for Massve Open Online Courses. The Dysphagia course is from the U. of East Anglia it has attracted nurses and speech therapists updating their skillsas well as Carers. Some are Mums caring for children. So they are not light weight but taught with such skill that they are accessible for rusty brains.
I have also been surprised at how much I know already, this site really helps.
I feel so often we feel out of control, by doing a course it seems to put back a bit of control.
Thanks again Izzy
I've sorted it Alice! You had put your reply within the quote you had made of my post!
If it were that simple.............
"mum would not read it;
if she did read it she would not understand it;
if she read and understood it, she would forget about it in seconds"
Yes..... EXACTLY.
I bought my mum a dementia clock.....
She knows that the word "Friday" is (or sounds) familiar, but has NO concept of what a day is, or what a day of the week might be, or what Friday means.
Mum is 82.
She was an only child, a princess girl, a narcissist wife and a distant and neglectful mother. Always wrapped up in herself
She was an opera singer, an actress, an artist, a muse.
Simultaneously extremely vain and yet insecure.
She spent thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds over the years on herself, her health, her physical wellbeing, her pills, her seeds, her oils, her portions, her lotions, her daily exercise regime, her fad diets, her supplements, her retreats and her endless expensive therapies.
She never smoked or drank (her voice)
Oh yes, she really worked hard.... On herself.
She could hardly have looked after herself more diligently.
Yet, here we are.
"mum would not read it;
if she did read it she would not understand it;
if she read and understood it, she would forget about it in seconds"
Yes..... EXACTLY.
I bought my mum a dementia clock.....
She knows that the word "Friday" is (or sounds) familiar, but has NO concept of what a day is, or what a day of the week might be, or what Friday means.
Mum is 82.
She was an only child, a princess girl, a narcissist wife and a distant and neglectful mother. Always wrapped up in herself
She was an opera singer, an actress, an artist, a muse.
Simultaneously extremely vain and yet insecure.
She spent thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds over the years on herself, her health, her physical wellbeing, her pills, her seeds, her oils, her portions, her lotions, her daily exercise regime, her fad diets, her supplements, her retreats and her endless expensive therapies.
She never smoked or drank (her voice)
Oh yes, she really worked hard.... On herself.
She could hardly have looked after herself more diligently.
Yet, here we are.
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@Lawson58 my hubby was 49 and very high functioning when he was diagnosed. But as a high level executive needing to make strategic and consequent decisions he was eventually exposed. But he was so smart and electronically savvy he did things like install bar code readers so when he must use series of large numbers , it read them, for him. Lots of tricks up his sleeve to compensate.....so his family of origin when he was first diagnosed thought I was making the whole thing up. No one questions it now. That was a long time ago and we are 16 years on this journey now. That was a difficult time for me.....but of course now...it is obvious and no one questions his disease. But the early years were hard NO ONE got what was happening. And he was so young, he did not want to attend daycare or be with older people. We were so delighted when Talking Point created separate sections for discussion...one for under 65s , because the problems can be different. But by the time that section of TP was introduced he was 63 or so. But then I had been using TP so long I did not change to the other site.
@Lawson58 I thought I replied to you on this. My husband was so high functioning for many of his early years with the disease. But he could not make decisions or use handle the finances or many many things. But he was great at doing his best to function when he was around other people (hosting) so many people who just had brief encounters with him could not detect he had any problems. Actually I found that a difficult time as people acted as though I was making up the issues we were dealing with.
