Hi all, I am looking for ideas for something to do with my dad (mid-stage dementia) so that my mum can have a break. He shadows her 24-7, and I have tried sitting with him or having him to my house before, to give her a break, but he gets distressed. I have taken him out for a day before, on a brewery tour, which we both really enjoyed, although he didn’t remember any of it by the time my mum got home that day. He doesn’t go out much at all, except to the supermarket once a week with my mum, so I don’t want to tire him too much. I have learned that he is quite settled in the car, with his favourite music on, I just don’t know where to take him! Also, he wanders, so we can’t go anywhere too busy. All ideas welcome!
Ideas for a day out with Dad
- Thread starter Kristo
- Start date
Drive to a beauty spot for coffee, fish and chips etc
Steam train ride?
visit to places that might be reminiscent- old work place etc
national trust - u can go free as carer
vineyard tour if u both liked the brewery?
or if he likes the car ….just a drive…my mum loves going in the car - she has a contented smile on her face - I remember being aghast how that smile was still there even going round the M25!!
Steam train ride?
visit to places that might be reminiscent- old work place etc
national trust - u can go free as carer
vineyard tour if u both liked the brewery?
or if he likes the car ….just a drive…my mum loves going in the car - she has a contented smile on her face - I remember being aghast how that smile was still there even going round the M25!!
Yes my husband likes to go in the car and to go somewhere to eat or drink and that's about it - not really interested in anything. If we go for a drink or a meal he wants quick service and to leave as soon as he has eaten or drunk (about 3 minutes for a drink!). My mum also had dementia and was the same about leaving after a meal. Took husband through our small town the other day - there was a very colourful display of umbrellas that I thought he would like and also a Steampunk event so lots of people dressed up but I couldn't get his attention - he just wanted to go back to the car. I do hope your dad can enjoy another visit such as brewery but if becoming more like mine I suggest something varied - a ride, a walk to a cafe, food and drink and return or other short activities to keep him occupied and hopefully not wanting to go home. Visiting old haunts as suggested above could work well.
You could even try the brewery again - he may remember bits and be happy that he remembers and if not it will be all new to him. If you can establish a routine of taking him out he will hopefully be less reluctant to leave your mum. I'm sure your mum will appreciate your efforts even if your dad doesn't seem to. Good luck.
You could even try the brewery again - he may remember bits and be happy that he remembers and if not it will be all new to him. If you can establish a routine of taking him out he will hopefully be less reluctant to leave your mum. I'm sure your mum will appreciate your efforts even if your dad doesn't seem to. Good luck.
When going for a drive please remember to lock the car door so that the PWD cannot suddenly decide they want to get out or open the door instead of opening the window as The Banjoman did when out with his sister one day!
My husband really enjoyed the local wildlife park his daughter took him to, he also likes ‘gardens’, trips to the coast (about an hour for us), walks round water, strangely enough galleries (even though partially sighted), places with lots of people are a definite no go. Loves cafes.
My OH is exactly the same. I managed to prise him off the sofa yesterday and get him out for lunch. It was a lovely meal, but as soon as he had finished he wanted to go home.
Yes, yes, yes! Mum did this to me - I still get the cold sweatS and palpitations just thinking about it, and we were in a slow moving queue of traffic.
We try to think what we might enjoy if we were in their shoes. But we aren’t the same. They have dementia we don’t. We worked it out that it was the drive to the restaurant mum liked. In the restaurant she became quickly overwhelmed
Just drive somewhere, park up, eat packed lunch and come home. It will seem totally pointless to you but PWD will have enjoyed the music and looking out of the window. Repeat. Repeat and repeat. We crave novelty but PWD doesn’t. Bless you for giving mum a break.
Just drive somewhere, park up, eat packed lunch and come home. It will seem totally pointless to you but PWD will have enjoyed the music and looking out of the window. Repeat. Repeat and repeat. We crave novelty but PWD doesn’t. Bless you for giving mum a break.
Oh yes, he did this once when we were on the M25 - I started sitting him in the back after that, (because my daughter “wanted to sit next to Grandad!) with the child locks on!! I have found the button now that locks all the doors. Also, undoing his seatbelt.
Thanks all, these are fantastic ideas - I may well take him back to the brewery or the seaside; it’s such a journey learning the things that a PWD will enjoy. The past haunts is a project to work on too, great idea! I am so glad that I found this forum, everyone immediately “gets” the challenges, and more importantly you have practical solutions and positivity. Good luck to you all on your journeys through this illness.
Hi @Kristo,
I used to find lots of interesting day trips via a local coach company.
Also, many cinemas these days (particularly the smaller ones) run dementia friendly screenings. The lights are left on low, there are no adverts or trailers and the audience is allowed to move around should they wish to.
Might be something to check out for a rainy day?
Similarly libraries often put on interesting activities such as reminscence sessions where folk can handle things from down the years and chat about what they remember of them.
Also, I often used to check out notice boards at community centres, churches and the what on pages on my local council's website to see what fun events were coming up. With it being summer now, you'll probably find music in the park type activities too.
The Alzheimer's Society also has this useful tool to help you find events/activities close to you - not just AS run events. You just put in your area then you can filter the results to show groups and activities 😊
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Good luck!
I used to find lots of interesting day trips via a local coach company.
Also, many cinemas these days (particularly the smaller ones) run dementia friendly screenings. The lights are left on low, there are no adverts or trailers and the audience is allowed to move around should they wish to.
Might be something to check out for a rainy day?
Similarly libraries often put on interesting activities such as reminscence sessions where folk can handle things from down the years and chat about what they remember of them.
Also, I often used to check out notice boards at community centres, churches and the what on pages on my local council's website to see what fun events were coming up. With it being summer now, you'll probably find music in the park type activities too.
The Alzheimer's Society also has this useful tool to help you find events/activities close to you - not just AS run events. You just put in your area then you can filter the results to show groups and activities 😊
Find support near you
Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Good luck!
Hi @Kristo
What were you dad's interest in his former life before dementia?
My wife loved music, gardening, theatre amongst others.
When I was able to take her out, and using a wheelchair for ease (saved her walking too far, and there was no wandering off!), we found a good day was touring a large local garden centre looking at the plants, the colours, the fish in the aquarium, and they had a cafe for a tea and a piece of cake. On another occasion a visit to an art gallery, and sort of "discussing" the pictures was quite amusing as she would often make loud comments!
Fairly simple things (that aren't too far to travel, nor too expensive) I found were best as she couldn't process to many simultaneous stimuli.
Best wishes.
What were you dad's interest in his former life before dementia?
My wife loved music, gardening, theatre amongst others.
When I was able to take her out, and using a wheelchair for ease (saved her walking too far, and there was no wandering off!), we found a good day was touring a large local garden centre looking at the plants, the colours, the fish in the aquarium, and they had a cafe for a tea and a piece of cake. On another occasion a visit to an art gallery, and sort of "discussing" the pictures was quite amusing as she would often make loud comments!
Fairly simple things (that aren't too far to travel, nor too expensive) I found were best as she couldn't process to many simultaneous stimuli.
Best wishes.
Hi @Kristo , my LO was becoming a couch potato and TV addict and then I found a local Dementia Together group and we now go to their Memory Cafes and activities but most enjoyed are those that include music/singing. Prior to Alzheimer’s she had never shown any interest in singing but now just loves sing-a-longs
Just wanted to let you all know that Dad and I had a lovely day out, singing in the car on the way to the coast and back (he knew every word to to every song on Meet the Beatles, brought a tear to my eye) had lovely fish and chips then sang all the way home again. Thanks again for your tips!
Hiya, there are loads of great suggestions here but I will add mine. I take Mum to a couple of local parks where there are a lot of activities close together, there's nice plants, two cafes and some paintings in a gallery. I know everything is accessible and we can change up what we are doing easily. Its important to me that I don't get too bored, so I can stay sane and that the staff are understanding of anything weird happens. - Next I am going to attempt a bigger art gallery and see how we go!
Hope you got hot freshly made doughnuts too Kristo , my trips to the coast aren’t complete without a hot doughnut (or 2) 😋
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