Mum is living alone with carers 3X a day and me visiting once a day. She has recently started phoning me and asking me to pick her up and take here "away from this house". She said "I feel as if I'm not in the right body, as if I'm someone else" She is anxious, distressed and very unsettled for a few hours, but later has forgotten about it and doesn't want to move to a home etc. It's really upsetting to see her in this state. She tested "borderline" for a urinary infection and is on anti biotics. My question is, if it's not a UTI, would anti depressants or something for anxiety help? Does anyone have experience of this? I'm phoning more often and increasing the number of hours I spend with her as well. I'm looking at care homes, and will put her name down and try respite, but don't want to actually move her until there's no alternative.
I want you to come home from work and take me away from here
- Thread starter Norfolk Cherry
- Start date
Hi there, My mother was in the same situation and I couldn’t really leave her alone so ended up staying the night as well as visting twice a day. Carer came in twice a day too but It was beginning to take a toll on myself and family so we hired a live in carer. A big step but well worth it for peace of mind. Worth thinking about before a care home? Cheaper too. Best of luck. So hard I know
Norfolk Cherry,
I was in a similar situation 9 years ago.
I am an only child and my Mum was living in her alone in her home with carers going in twice a day. The only time she didn't phone me was for the hour in the morning and again in the evening when the carer was there.
On more than one occasion the carers forgot to give her meds. Mum was calling me because she had locked herself out/felt unwell/something had broken/had lost money/was frightened etc etc.
When she was with me she was OK and seemed relaxed and back to normal, so after consulting with my husband she came to live with us. This proved to be a good decision and worked for the next 8 years by which time Mum had deteriorated and was waking up at night.
That was how we managed but each situation is different and I certainly would not recommend this course of action to everyone.
Yes look at care homes, put her name down on those you favour, look into day care, befrienders etc and cover all bases to find a solution.
I was in a similar situation 9 years ago.
I am an only child and my Mum was living in her alone in her home with carers going in twice a day. The only time she didn't phone me was for the hour in the morning and again in the evening when the carer was there.
On more than one occasion the carers forgot to give her meds. Mum was calling me because she had locked herself out/felt unwell/something had broken/had lost money/was frightened etc etc.
When she was with me she was OK and seemed relaxed and back to normal, so after consulting with my husband she came to live with us. This proved to be a good decision and worked for the next 8 years by which time Mum had deteriorated and was waking up at night.
That was how we managed but each situation is different and I certainly would not recommend this course of action to everyone.
Yes look at care homes, put her name down on those you favour, look into day care, befrienders etc and cover all bases to find a solution.
Thank you @Daisy1934 and @father ted , it really helps to get different perspectives on this, what a life saver this site is. I will look into live in care, but she definitely needs more company now.
