• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

I think my Grandma has Dementia, need help...

Not open for further replies.


Registered User
Apr 5, 2015
Hello, for a while now i have been concerned about my grandmas mental health. I am currently studying away at University and visit her whenever i get the chance to come back home. My grandma is 84 years old and over the past few months she has been displaying very odd behaviour. She thinks that the house she has lived in for over 30 years is not her home, my sister went down to see her and found my grandma sat on the sofa with a coat on and a towel around her neck saying someone was coming to pick her up, no one was coming and she has not left the house on her own for years. Today she rang my parents and told them she was in a childrens home and has been banging on the windows and could not escape. So we all went down to see her and had to convince her that she was in her home, showed her some of her belongings and she still insisted that someone had else had put them in this place. she then told us that she had been banging on the windows to try and get out but people were ignoring her from outside, this really scared me as this is dangerous.While we sat her down and got her some water i discovered notes she had written one of which was addressed to no one but said
I have tried to sleep on the sofa but no luck , I will try upstairs, I am sorry for moving the sofa i will move it in the morning.
found another which said
Beryl is in the back bedroom upstairs, sorry from beryl
it is as if she is writing letters to someone that she thinks she is in there house and not hers.
my mum who is her daughter finds it funny at times but knows it is serious but little is being done, it would be great if any one knew what was wrong with my grandma, as she refuses any help or aid and we have to force her to go to the doctors.
I am scared for her safety,

kind regards


Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
Hi Laura
You need to talk to her GP & social services.
The GP can do some tests & social services can provide support.

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
Hello Laura

Welcome to TP but sorry to read of your concerns re. your Grandma. Whilst her symptoms can perhaps be amusing there is obviously something wrong for which she needs help and support. sometimes untreated urine infections can cause strange behaviour especially in the elderly.

It is very difficult if she does not see a problem which can be a symptom of dementia in itself. The best thing perhaps you and your Mum can do is write down some of the things that have been happening, as you have here and write to your GP with your concerns, you can also contact the Adult Care team of Social Services for your area.

You are a caring granddaughter to seek help for her. Keep posting here as you will get help, advice and support, your Mum may be interested to read. I'm sure you will get other replies TP seems a bit quieter than usual today, being Easter Sunday.
Take care & best wishes


Registered User
Apr 5, 2015
Thank you so much for your advice and suggestions, i will let my mum know and get a list together to take to the GP. Ill try and book an appointment asap. I never even thought it could be a urine infection we will have to see if the GP can look into that also. She has recently had temporary adult care team come around for a week as the doctor recommended it after she had an x-ray on her knees. after the week of having the ladies the social worker stopped the care as the care they were providing was great like making sure she ate but they stopped it as they were not suitable for the care that my grandma needs. for example i know for a fact my grandma hasn't showered properly in months and with due to concerns of her own safety. Therefore i think the best care would be around the clock as it would be safer not just for her but would settle me also, however i know for a fact she would hate it and she has said to me before that she thinks going in a home will make her worse, i think she is just proud and being stubborn. the main things that scare me is these stories she is making up, thinking she has been out to town when she hasnt been in years and saying she was travelling through a tunnel in the ceiling :/ you could be right in thinking it could be a urine infection.
sorry i am waffling now, its actually my grandmas birthday tomorrow so hopefully other members of my family will also see how she has become.

thanks Sue and Cat


Registered User
Dec 21, 2008
Hi Laura,

I hope your Grandma has a very lovely day tomorrow and that you enjoy it too.

Not all people with dementia need to go into a care home - but if your Grandma ever needs to there are good care homes around.

Good luck with the GP too.


Registered User
May 30, 2017
I think my gran has dementia, please help

About 5 years ago, my grans bestest friend had past away. Ever since this happened I seem to be having problems with my gran.
Both my mum, myself and my gran live together in a house which is split into two flats.
When this first started happening, it was only mildly, my gran thinking she's lost jewellery or someone had been in and taken it. However, this is becoming much worse and more regular.
It has now resulted in my gran thinking that both my moth and myself are prostitues and selling ourselves off for money in our flat. This is making my gran bang and shout on the floor boards down to us. While my gran thinks what is going on is happening, at the time nothing is, we are either sat watching tv or having dinner. Along side this, my gran has become greatly forgetful, if I see her in a morning, she will have forgotten that I had that same afternoon. This is the same with putting things in places and who people are.
My gran has gone too far at times calling the police saying things are happening downstairs and starts to ring us in early hours of the morning...
I am a university student so I am hardly home but I try to come back when I can. It's been going on too long now and I just want to try and make things better for our family.
We have tried to contact her GP and they came over to see how she was, however, my gran seemed to lie about everything that was asked or said to her as She refuses to admit something is wrong. Now her GP is retired to we have moved back a step because the information has not been passed on...
Please can someone help?


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Hello Sophie and welcome to Talking Point.

People with dementia are often completely unable to understand that they have problems. They also get delusions (fixed false ideas), which is what it sounds like your gran has. Getting them to see a GP is often a challenge, because, you see, in their mind there is nothing wrong :rolleyes:.

The best thing to do is for you or your mum to write a letter to your mums GP describing what is happening and why you are concerned. That way it will get put in your grans files. Some GPs are willing to call someone-who-others-are-concerned-about in for a routine "well woman" check ;) or a flu jab ;) - in reality a check for dementia, but renamed so that the person will go to the appointment.
Not open for further replies.