Hello
I am very uncertain about what to do.
I think my mother has dementia. Attempts to discuss things with her have either been closed down quickly or she has become angry. The symptoms have been worsening for about 18 months or so to the extent where other people have noticed. People who only see her once a week for a couple of hours have said to me that they think Mum may have dementia.
She cannot retain short term information reliably (or at all, often). Trying to get her to remember that something is happening on Monday, for example, is hopeless. No matter how many times she is told the information doesn't go in.
She is more withdrawn than before. She does have a hearing aid, which she uses and which works properly - I arrange to have this tested via a home visit every six months. In things like pub quizzes she is very quiet and questions that she should, easily, know the answer to she just gets wrong.
Time order is often misremembered and she thinks things happened in a different order, or she 'reinvents history' because she can't remember how something happened. If you attempt to correct her she gets angry - so generally I don't bother.
Local car journeys that she does regularly are fine, but if she drives anywhere not local or that she is unfamiliar with she will usually ask me to drive under a pretext, or I will offer because I want to do 'X' there or some similar excuse.
There have been some serious issues. A car journey that should have taken 90 minutes and that she has done several times before ended up taking over 7 hours - I was beside myself and close to calling the police when she finally messaged me. I have come home to find the house full of gas and mum totally oblivious to it.
I am the sole carer and have no siblings. My father died many years ago.
I am very tired and starting to become upset because I see no end in sight to this. I am unable to work because mum simply cannot be left alone for too long and she gets anxious. I have virtually no income - I am trying to claim UC but I am sure they will expect me to work because there is no formal diagnosis in place. I can understand this but it is very unhelpful for me.
I have spoken to the GP (we use the same practice) and explained my concerns. The GP is going to arrange for the practice matron to call in mum on the pretext of a sort of 'MOT' and health review as she is on long term medication for blood pressure.
Mum's diet is very poor - I am a good cook but I find it very difficult to persuade her to eat proper meals, and when she does she eats small quantities. She drinks probably 3 bottles of wine a week and is totally sedentary.
I am at a very low point now - I am worried that the GP may be unable to find anything obviously wrong. Mum presents, casually, reasonably well and on the face of it has no memory or mind issues. This isn't really the case though.
My question to the panel is: what on earth am I supposed to do going forwards ? Not just for myself, but for mum.
I am very uncertain about what to do.
I think my mother has dementia. Attempts to discuss things with her have either been closed down quickly or she has become angry. The symptoms have been worsening for about 18 months or so to the extent where other people have noticed. People who only see her once a week for a couple of hours have said to me that they think Mum may have dementia.
She cannot retain short term information reliably (or at all, often). Trying to get her to remember that something is happening on Monday, for example, is hopeless. No matter how many times she is told the information doesn't go in.
She is more withdrawn than before. She does have a hearing aid, which she uses and which works properly - I arrange to have this tested via a home visit every six months. In things like pub quizzes she is very quiet and questions that she should, easily, know the answer to she just gets wrong.
Time order is often misremembered and she thinks things happened in a different order, or she 'reinvents history' because she can't remember how something happened. If you attempt to correct her she gets angry - so generally I don't bother.
Local car journeys that she does regularly are fine, but if she drives anywhere not local or that she is unfamiliar with she will usually ask me to drive under a pretext, or I will offer because I want to do 'X' there or some similar excuse.
There have been some serious issues. A car journey that should have taken 90 minutes and that she has done several times before ended up taking over 7 hours - I was beside myself and close to calling the police when she finally messaged me. I have come home to find the house full of gas and mum totally oblivious to it.
I am the sole carer and have no siblings. My father died many years ago.
I am very tired and starting to become upset because I see no end in sight to this. I am unable to work because mum simply cannot be left alone for too long and she gets anxious. I have virtually no income - I am trying to claim UC but I am sure they will expect me to work because there is no formal diagnosis in place. I can understand this but it is very unhelpful for me.
I have spoken to the GP (we use the same practice) and explained my concerns. The GP is going to arrange for the practice matron to call in mum on the pretext of a sort of 'MOT' and health review as she is on long term medication for blood pressure.
Mum's diet is very poor - I am a good cook but I find it very difficult to persuade her to eat proper meals, and when she does she eats small quantities. She drinks probably 3 bottles of wine a week and is totally sedentary.
I am at a very low point now - I am worried that the GP may be unable to find anything obviously wrong. Mum presents, casually, reasonably well and on the face of it has no memory or mind issues. This isn't really the case though.
My question to the panel is: what on earth am I supposed to do going forwards ? Not just for myself, but for mum.
