Hi everyone. I'm not sure that anyone can help me, but here goes. Long story; Mum is in a CH. She was an habitual alcoholic and the last 10 years have been awful due to her behaviour. She has lost all her friends with her antics and refused all offers of help. She developed vascular dementia as a result of strokes caused by uncontrolled hypertension by refusing to take her anti-hypertensives because she was continually drunk. I have to work full time as my hubby had a stroke and cannot work. She was uncontrollable and aggressive towards me before and after she was placed in a CH but recently calmed down due to medication. My Mum and I were practically estranged when she was placed in a CH, due to her throwing me out of her house when I offered to help her organise her finances after bailiffs had been. There are no words I can use to describe the hell and back I have been in. I am an only child and have no family. Now, it falls on me. I am her only visitor at the CH. I am supposed to be applying for Deputyship to be COP (I just cannot bring myself to apply) and am her DSS guardian. Mum has now become hostile and aggressive again. The psychiatric services are visiting daily and she has been placed on a behaviour chart. She has absconded from the CH twice and she is abusive. Please do not judge me, but I am sick of it all. I just feel like walking away. I want no part in the process and just want to visit her when I can. At the moment, I am relied on for everything. Mum has tried to control me all my life. She has attempted to ruin relationships, she told people that I was psychologically disturbed rather than admit alcohol dependency. I could go on and on. I guess what I am really saying, is that I don't feel that I deserve this. I have done everything I can for mum and still it carries on. I just bury my head in the sand and days go by without me applying for Deputyship, cleaning her house, dealing with her finances and sorting her life. I have no one and feel totally overwhelmed. Meanwhile, my mum just upsets me more and more but she has no one else. Does anyone know of a 'buddy' system in the UK that could 'metaphorically' hold my hand and support me through this? I just feel so utterly alone. I thought I was coping but I'm really not. I have just crashed down into feeling totally vulnerable again. Really sorry for the long post. I only have this forum to vent and get advice from. Thank you all.