My mother inlaw has suspected vascular dementia, but refuses to attend a Memory Clinic - she told the GP that she can remember everything she needs to remember! She has short term memory problems - forgets what she has eaten, where she has put clothes, obsesses about the same few topics, I am sure you can all fill in the rest, I have tried to institute an LPA, but she blanks me or yells at me when legal things are mentioned. I am at a loss as to how to ensure these matters are resolved when she will not address them. My husband died 6 years ago, so it is all up to me - I have no immediate family in a position to help, and there is no support from the GP; I only got their interest by submitting a copy of diary I am keeping. Anyadvicewill be grateful lyre dived.
I need advice
- Thread starter Jelbem
- Start date
Hello and welcome to TP.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother in law. My own mum had vascular dementia and she never was asked to attend a memory clinic. My husband, on the other hand, has Alzheimer's and he attended the memory from diagnosis 13 years ago. I think this is due to the fact that there are drugs which can be given to people who have Alzheimer's. These hopefully slow the progress of the disease, obviously they don't cure it. These drugs are not normally prescribed for someone with Vascular Dementia. This may be why your MIL has not been asked to attend a memory clinic.
It must be extremely hard for you in your own situation. My mum's GP eventually got a Community Psychiatric Nurse to visit my mum. I have to say I found her illness much more difficult to deal with than my husband's.
Sorry that really isn't a great deal of help to you. I just thought I would share my own experiences.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother in law. My own mum had vascular dementia and she never was asked to attend a memory clinic. My husband, on the other hand, has Alzheimer's and he attended the memory from diagnosis 13 years ago. I think this is due to the fact that there are drugs which can be given to people who have Alzheimer's. These hopefully slow the progress of the disease, obviously they don't cure it. These drugs are not normally prescribed for someone with Vascular Dementia. This may be why your MIL has not been asked to attend a memory clinic.
It must be extremely hard for you in your own situation. My mum's GP eventually got a Community Psychiatric Nurse to visit my mum. I have to say I found her illness much more difficult to deal with than my husband's.
Sorry that really isn't a great deal of help to you. I just thought I would share my own experiences.
All I get is "it's probably vascular dementia" or shrugging of shoulders from my GP, if I get to speak with them - appointments and phone ins are like gold dust! How do you get them to take things seriously? My mother in law refused the Memory Clinic and the GP did not refer her anyway, these things are optional, based on the patient's say so, and I feel ignored as her carer. Is there another way I can get someone to listen? Yet another postcode lottery? Do I jump up and down until someone helps? We have dementia cafes in town, but MIL will not go, and gets anxious if I am away from the house for any length of time - even 20 minutes. She panics if she cannot see me in the garden for example. I am at a loss as to what to do next.
Is there any way you can get your mother in law to sign a letter addressed to gp/surgery giving them permission to discuss things on her behalf with you? This was the only way I could get things moving regarding memory clinic appointments etc, for my mum.
Hello jelbem, firstly you need to phone up your local adult mental health team,phone the Alzheimer's society, and the carers centre..you do have to push yourself with these people,but once you do get their attention you should get offered more help and advice..For me,the best so far has been the coffee morning for carers, I have had a lot of help from this alone.I have had a support worker from this and she has been a great help,with practical and emotional support..As for going out,I just take mum with me and tell her we are going to meet my friends(at the de cafe day, for example) mum doesn't like to mix with people,but I need to,so she has to come as well...To go out on my own, I tell mum I have an appointment,and tell her what time I will be back.this reassures her...Would this work for you?everyone is different ..you do have to find out what works,? a few love lies,?and you do have to put yourself first at times...its a really overwhelming situation to find ourselves in,so you have to speak up for yourself,tell people that you need help and advice..or you will just be left to deal with it on your own,I'm sorry to say...I hope this helps a little bit x
