I,m so scared

pinkjandt

Registered User
Apr 11, 2008
25
hampshire
Hi I am new to this forum, I took my husband to hospital yesterday and he was diagnosed with alzheimers, even the word terrifies me,we had so many plans for retirement and having more time with the grandkids and talking to the doctors made me realize that our time of normality is extremly limited.how do I juggle being an active nan to 10 grandkids with the demand of caring for my much loved husband.
Terry is funny and kind and it is breaking my heart to read this forum and realize what our future holds.
so sorry to sound so sorry for myself i am usually upbeat and i have spent all day convincing the family that we will be fine and now it is the middle of the night and there is nowhere to hide
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Dear pinkjandt ... from another often sleepless soul .... you'd think hiding when it's dark was easiest? Not so ..... that's when every troubled thought torments the most ....

Can't guarantee someone is around 24/7 (although with an international membership it's often the case on TP) ... and please don't be frightened ...... knowledge is power and all that ... it's scary at times when we wonder about the future .... but it's so much easier with understanding travellers on similar or parallel paths ......

Sounds like you have had a heavy day reassuring all around you when you need some TLC for yourself ........you will see a way forward ....(you will!!!) ..... the diagnosis is a shock - and firstly, you must allow yourself the time to let that sink in ..... one step at a time .....

With love and hugs, Karen, x
 

AJay

Registered User
Aug 21, 2007
123
Leics
Hi pinkjandt and a warm welcome to TP from another sleepless soul.

Many hugs to you, you've got some difficult times ahead. But everyone on here is fantastic and you'll get many words of wisdom and lots of support. Take one day at a time is all my sleep deprived muddled brain can come up with just now. Keep posting.

AJay xxx
 

pinkjandt

Registered User
Apr 11, 2008
25
hampshire
thank you

thank you for messages,in the morning things never seem so bad do they?

I an sure I will cope,the truth is there is no other option,I am just sad that our future looks so bleak.
never mind I am off babysitting now, three little bundles of mischief That will cheer me up.
thank you again I have a feeling that in the next few years you may help me keep my sanity and sense of humour, I feel at the moment I am losing both.
 

EllieS

Registered User
Aug 23, 2005
170
SOMERSET
It may not be soooo bad!

It's been a long while since I used the site - but this is a wonderful way of letting off steam, crying on line, opening your heart and so on. It's always here for you and there's so much advice that flows from peoples hearts and experiences it is great!

That can't change your sadness at your circumstances but who knows, it may not be as bad as you think - my advice would be to try to keep a clear head, enjoy your hubby and both of you enjoy your family each day - there may not be a tomorrow for any of us!
Continue to live normally - or even better than normally - we all get into humdrum habits - be good to yourselves!

Keep your eye on the ball with regard to medications prescribed for Terry - you are both really really important, don't become a number - make sure your GP knows what he's doing - don't trust in anyone until they've proven themselves to warrant that trust.
It's been a while since I used the Alzheimers telephone line but they're so very helpful - never hesitate to call them if you have any concerns whatever!

Chin up and lots of love.

Ellie
(Advice is easier to give than to take isn't it?)
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Hello Pinkjandt,

Take heart!

It's never as bad as you think it's going to be!

You have a loving family around you and I'm sure you'll all pull together when necessary.
Take help when it's offered..and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Try to take somethung good from each day..and remember that an early diagnosis at least gives you time to prepare.

And you're not alone..we're all here for you too:)

Love gigi xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Take help when it's offered..and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Hi Pinkjandt

Welcome to TP, you've come to the right place for support.

Gigi is right. Don't convince everyone that you'll be all right. You have a loving family, and you'll continue to cope with their support.

It's so easy to be the strong one, the one who can manage -- I know, I did that too, until I collapsed. Make sure you get all the support you need, from GP, social services, CPN, and most of all, family.

It does get harder, none of us would deny that, but you have the chance to get your support networks in place early -- take advantage of that.

And come here any time you need advice or just a listening ear.

Best wishes,
 

pinkjandt

Registered User
Apr 11, 2008
25
hampshire
i,m getting it together!!

OK. Time to be positive !!!

unfortunately I think terry is coming out of the earliest stages, but I have very little knowledge
of what each stage entails

What is the best way of using this forum? is it reading through other peoples experiences ?

Terry still has a long way to go hopefully,he doesn,t have a problem with recognition or any signs of halucinations.

Do these things happen suddenly?

He has virtually no short term memory,becomes disorientated easily.has lost the ability to do even the most simple maths

he can no longer cook, either almost raw or burnt offerings were the norm.

I have retired early so it is a bit easier.

I do also have a strong loving family so it isn,t all bad
thank you all so much you really have been superb in making me feel welcome, and I will try and be less whingey
 

Lotti

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
52
Hello pinkjandt,

I know my welcome is a little late, but like they say better late than never.

The fact that you have 10 grandchildren may help, mum loves children, beams when she sees them, it's as though they do not cause her any anxieties because they do not expect anything from her. When she was around adults she used to be very quiet, scared of saying something in case she had said it before and was worried about looking silly, she is now passed that stage.

I have found having as much knowlege as I can get hold of helps me understand what mum is going through and why she behaves like she does. There are many people here who have a vast amount of that knowledge through living with it day to day and it does help knowing you are not alone.

Regards
Lotti
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,854
51
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Pinkjandt,

Another late welcome!

What is the best way of using this forum? is it reading through other peoples experiences ?
A good place to start is with the factsheets on the main AS website.

This should be the link to the list

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200137

There are so many different people with different experiences on TP that it would take you years to read them all! Post any concerns or questions you have here and someone will be along in a very short time.

I don't think there is a factsheet on the stages of dementia but this is a link to a thread about the different stages
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=1854

But please don't spend too long on the computer reading about AD. Get out and enjoy your time with Terry. :)
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
But please don't spend too long on the computer reading about AD. Get out and enjoy your time with Terry.
That is very wise advice from Sue!!!:)Remember, Pinkjandt..every person who has AD is different..we share a lot,learn a lot here..but no 2 situations are the same!

Love gigi xx
 

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
1,881
Nr Mold
Four years ago I was where you are now with the same worries and fears.

Today although my husband has been slowly getting worse we still go out and about and have little holidays and day trips which he enjoys. He loves walking and lunching!

Yes, my life has changed with taking on responsibility for everything he used to do..driving, DIY:rolleyes:gardening etc as well as running our home as before.

Try to think positive and do things together as much as you can. You have had a shock and need time to reflect.

Visit TP often there is a wealth of experience here and always someone who can answer a query or point you in the right direction. I can see you have had good advice already.:)

Forgot to say welcome!

Linda x
 

pinkjandt

Registered User
Apr 11, 2008
25
hampshire
Dear Linda
Your reply really rang bells for me.We have a small caravan down in weymouth and I think we will go down there next week and just enjoy a few days ambling around,

Today has been fine terry has new medication ,maybe it is my imagination but he seems less restless.

unfortunately I look after my mum and dad who are mentally ok but in their late 80s so unable to cope with shopping etc.

so a good walk along the beach is looking good,

goodnight to everyone Sleep well

Jan