I love my wife but ...
- Thread starter Chris100
- Start date
Just not alcohol and medication, not good separately or combined combination for a carer.
Patience's and just wait for the moments they just do happen and right of nowhere they thank you and tell you they love you, makes it all worthwhile, worked for me for over 10 years on here, still miss getting cuddled from behind and kissed on the neck even now. K
Patience's and just wait for the moments they just do happen and right of nowhere they thank you and tell you they love you, makes it all worthwhile, worked for me for over 10 years on here, still miss getting cuddled from behind and kissed on the neck even now. K
Best advice I heard, and the hardest to follow, is to aspire to 100 percent forgiveness
Just no buts, in is, just unconditional love and 10 years on after diagnosis I did for her what I know she would have done for me.
I did it for better and for worst, in sickness and in health, stuck by it and do it and would again tomorrow, and I know she'd have done it for me too.
That's what love is., Unconditional for me anyway, one of us sadly has to go first, so I'm sat here in the kitchen posting so it wasn't me who went first. K
I did it for better and for worst, in sickness and in health, stuck by it and do it and would again tomorrow, and I know she'd have done it for me too.
That's what love is., Unconditional for me anyway, one of us sadly has to go first, so I'm sat here in the kitchen posting so it wasn't me who went first. K
My best advice is to not assume that you will always be able to do everything yourself without any help. So grab any offer of help/support with both hands and put in support before you think it's really necessary. If you leave it until you are on your knees it may be too late for her to accept it
One day at a time. Fearing for the future can ruin the present (says she, who does that most days!). We have been given time, to love and to care, but it's a heart breaker I know.
In my humble opinion, @Chris100 you have to try and get to acceptance. As said, one day at a time, as it is as it is. Your OH cannot change how dementia affects her, her speech, her behaviours etc and her condition will deteriorate.
It's common for carers to be affected by anticipatory grief, where you start grieving for what you have already lost and what you will lose with your OH and the relationship you had, which will never be the same again.
Yes, after 7 years there are many times when I see my OH as the young, energetic, beautiful, spirited, sexy young twentysomething that I first met and married more than 56 years ago. I love that, but makes me v sad and low, but you pick yourself up, you dust yourself down, and start all over again. My OH needs me now more than ever in her dark times that are much worse than mine, even if she doesn't know.
Yes, get help. Yes, get a sitter so you can have time to yourself. Yes, look after yourself, not like me posting here at nearly midnight!
An arm round your shoulder mate. Best wishes.
It's common for carers to be affected by anticipatory grief, where you start grieving for what you have already lost and what you will lose with your OH and the relationship you had, which will never be the same again.
Yes, after 7 years there are many times when I see my OH as the young, energetic, beautiful, spirited, sexy young twentysomething that I first met and married more than 56 years ago. I love that, but makes me v sad and low, but you pick yourself up, you dust yourself down, and start all over again. My OH needs me now more than ever in her dark times that are much worse than mine, even if she doesn't know.
Yes, get help. Yes, get a sitter so you can have time to yourself. Yes, look after yourself, not like me posting here at nearly midnight!
An arm round your shoulder mate. Best wishes.
We all worry about how this illness will progress but - while I think it is sensible to plan or at least have some idea about how to cope in the future, things won't necessarily happen the way you expect or anticipate. We can only take things one step at a time and while we may have some idea of what is coming, we don't know for certain what is around the next corner.
My OH has been diagnosed with dementia and now only one of his friends will come and take him out whilst the others make excuses and never call us with social events. We feel isolated. Are there any groups out there that we could attend in the newcastle upon tyne area that we could attend. It is amazing, we had a very large friendship group but now hardly see anyone.
Ask Age UK or Adult Social Services @themagicstar
Memory singers
Dementia cafe
Fitness for over 65's (inc sitting exercises)
Chat groups for over65's (in our library)
Men's Shed
Craft workshop
Memory singers
Dementia cafe
Fitness for over 65's (inc sitting exercises)
Chat groups for over65's (in our library)
Men's Shed
Craft workshop
OMG I'm eligible for sitting exercise as I'm over 65 and you wouldn't want to hear me sing.
Luckily tomorrow's job is digging out tree stumps from felling them a few days back.
Now exactly a man shed whatever one of those is and what's the female equivalent? K
Luckily tomorrow's job is digging out tree stumps from felling them a few days back.
Now exactly a man shed whatever one of those is and what's the female equivalent? K
