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I just need to rant

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
My Mum moved to a nursing home on Thursday and as a special nod to it being her 90th birthday today my sister was allowed to visit her today While a bunch of the rest of us went to do a window visit.
When we arrived the member of staff who opened the door quarantined all of Mum’s presents , cards and her birthday cake for three days as per “ the law”
She now has a visitor who has had to explain that no one has been allowed to give her anything despite her reaching this grand age Which is proving tricky due to her Alzheimers.
As a family we are totally gutted, we waved her in on Thursday and if we had been told then that quarantine was required we could have driven home and picked up her presents. No one told us we couldn’t give gifts and this law means that she cannot have her favourite food of the moment, apple turnovers, as they will always be out of date before they are released to her.
I can’t find out about this law anywhere atm but maybe I am looking in the wrong place.
I do know I am at the end of my tether, it’s been a long journey to get Mum into a good home and now we are faced with another set of hurdles to manage. we can’t even complain about the very aggressive member of staff either as we can’t risk losing her placement.
thanks for listening!
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,044
0
N Ireland
Rants are allowed @Evie5831

I'm sorry to read about such a special day being spoiled in such a way. I suppose rules are rules but it would have helped if the Care Home has advised the family about them.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,922
0
I don't know that it's a 'law', but I know that care homes have been advised about quarantining items for three days. My mother's care home flags that up at regular intervals. Having said that I arrived for my visit with my mum on her birthday at the same times as some flowers were delivered from me. They allowed mum to have those straight away.
I know it's very sad that your mum didn't get her presents and the home should have explained, but things are so tough for them at present that I try to cut them a bit of slack. Your mum probably won't remember that she didn't have any presents on the actual day, and will enjoy them when she does get them.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
I don't know that it's a 'law', but I know that care homes have been advised about quarantining items for three days. My mother's care home flags that up at regular intervals. Having said that I arrived for my visit with my mum on her birthday at the same times as some flowers were delivered from me. They allowed mum to have those straight away.
I know it's very sad that your mum didn't get her presents and the home should have explained, but things are so tough for them at present that I try to cut them a bit of slack. Your mum probably won't remember that she didn't have any presents on the actual day, and will enjoy them when she does get them.
In all honesty it would have been better had she seen no one today. My sister was allowed a very short time with her then was escorted out leaving my mum sobbing, I’m devastated
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
I Have found the government guidelines, it’s not a law it’s a recommendation that things that go in can be wiped down, all of our presents met these guidelines.
lone of the problems is she was taken straight from hospital so we have been able to talk to only the receptionist and we have no paperwork containing the rules and regulations she and we have to abide by.
I genuinely thought that she would be able to treat the home as her home and am shocked that this is not the case, COVID aside
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,220
0
Yorkshire
I'm really sorry your mum was upset @Evie5831
I honestly think you should mention all this to the care home manager, you have every right to communicate any concerns (and, of course, praise when it's earned) in an email or letter ... maybe don't 'complain' as such, find a way (once you're calmer) to let them know you were disappointed that you weren't made aware of the procedure around gifts as you would have been able to organise for them to have been delivered beforehand, and ask if there is a way to get her favourite cake to your mum (hopefully the home can provide them when they know)
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
2,997
0
I Have found the government guidelines, it’s not a law it’s a recommendation that things that go in can be wiped down, all of our presents met these guidelines.
lone of the problems is she was taken straight from hospital so we have been able to talk to only the receptionist and we have no paperwork containing the rules and regulations she and we have to abide by.
I genuinely thought that she would be able to treat the home as her home and am shocked that this is not the case, COVID aside

Hello @Evie5831 unfortunately the care home situation at the moment is completely different to how it was pre-covid but things will hopefully improve as infection rates drop. Because the Government advice is just 'guidance' care homes have different procedures in place. When you get the chance, ask the receptionist to provide you with a copy of their visiting guidance - mum's care home included reference to infection control/gift giving within this and they 'quarantine' items for 72hrs but there are some exceptions - so ask about the apple turnovers. For mother's day I dropped off a bag of gifts for mum the week before, having been told that I would then be able to give them to mum myself after they had been 'quarantined', only to find that when I arrived for the visit staff had already unwrapped them and shown them to mum a few days previously :( The staff are under a lot of pressure/stress and communication sometimes isn't great so I didn't make a fuss but I can understand how upsetting the situation was on your mum's birthday. It's early days and both yourself and your mum need time to adjust to the changes but fingers crossed a more 'normal' visiting situation will be here soon.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
It seems from everyone’s comments that this is the norm now, even more sad now but thank you for your kind words.
 

Linsac

Registered User
Aug 14, 2020
71
0
It is absolutely not the law and I find it very sad that CH's are saying it is. Flowers and cakes (if wrapped) in particular do not need to be quarantined, surely they could have given these to her? How mean. Also worrying that they are restricting time so much on visits, I would definitely be finding out their visiting rules. Is it a large chain of care homes? There are some awful stories currently about how they are treating potential visitors.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
Hello @Evie5831 unfortunately the care home situation at the moment is completely different to how it was pre-covid but things will hopefully improve as infection rates drop. Because the Government advice is just 'guidance' care homes have different procedures in place. When you get the chance, ask the receptionist to provide you with a copy of their visiting guidance - mum's care home included reference to infection control/gift giving within this and they 'quarantine' items for 72hrs but there are some exceptions - so ask about the apple turnovers. For mother's day I dropped off a bag of gifts for mum the week before, having been told that I would then be able to give them to mum myself after they had been 'quarantined', only to find that when I arrived for the visit staff had already unwrapped them and shown them to mum a few days previously :( The staff are under a lot of pressure/stress and communication sometimes isn't great so I didn't make a fuss but I can understand how upsetting the situation was on your mum's birthday. It's early days and both yourself and your mum need time to adjust to the changes but fingers crossed a more 'normal' visiting situation will be here soon.
Thank you will get on to this on Tuesday when BH is over
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
It is absolutely not the law and I find it very sad that CH's are saying it is. Flowers and cakes (if wrapped) in particular do not need to be quarantined, surely they could have given these to her? How mean. Also worrying that they are restricting time so much on visits, I would definitely be finding out their visiting rules. Is it a large chain of care homes? There are some awful stories currently about how they are treating potential visitors.
its one of the biggest, I would have expected much better from them in action and communication.
 

Linsac

Registered User
Aug 14, 2020
71
0
Unfortunately 2 of the biggest care home chains have the worst record for allowing visitors access to their loved ones. It seems blanket policies are being enforced rather than assessing the individual resident. Have a look at the Rights for Residents Facebook page-there is plenty of information on there.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
Unfortunately 2 of the biggest care home chains have the worst record for allowing visitors access to their loved ones. It seems blanket policies are being enforced rather than assessing the individual resident. Have a look at the Rights for Residents Facebook page-there is plenty of information on there.
Thank you so much
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
That's so sad for you, especially on such a big Birthday for your Mum. They are doing their best for safety reasons but it would have been better to have had all of that explained to you when she was admitted. Shame that member of staff was so aggressive too. I think that you bring that up with the management. Let's hope that when things are eased on the Covid front, you can make up for what you and your Mum have missed.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
That's so sad for you, especially on such a big Birthday for your Mum. They are doing their best for safety reasons but it would have been better to have had all of that explained to you when she was admitted. Shame that member of staff was so aggressive too. I think that you bring that up with the management. Let's hope that when things are eased on the Covid front, you can make up for what you and your Mum have missed.
Thank you for your kindness, today can never be made up sadly but I hope I have time left to show her I do care about her
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
Thank you to everyone that has responded today, I really appreciate you thoughts and support.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
749
0
My mother's care home follows this guidance , (certainly not a law) too, but things that can be sanitised with a spray are thus treated promptly and she can have them in a few minutes or so. This seems to be current accepted practice, can you persuade the home to do this? For example boxes of chocolates in a wrapper can be sprayed.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
My mother's care home follows this guidance , (certainly not a law) too, but things that can be sanitised with a spray are thus treated promptly and she can have them in a few minutes or so. This seems to be current accepted practice, can you persuade the home to do this? For example boxes of chocolates in a wrapper can be sprayed.
The home manager is unfortunately not back until Tuesday and the staff on duty will not break the rules, we tried, even appealing to their sense of smell telling them that there are fresh cream apple turnovers in the bag which will have turned by Tuesday but “the law is the law”
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,389
0
High Peak
It's appalling, isn't it? The main source of infection in care homes is due to people coming and going, whether that is carers, medics or visitors. But visitors are seemingly hosed down with bleach for half an hour and have to stay behind a brick wall so they are unlikely to be bringing in much. (And very often visitors are extremely careful with social distancing themselves, meticulous about hand washing, etc, or even shielding, so again, unlikely to be much of a threat.)

I would like to see evidence of one person - just one - who has caught covid from an under-quarantined cake.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
180
0
It's appalling, isn't it? The main source of infection in care homes is due to people coming and going, whether that is carers, medics or visitors. But visitors are seemingly hosed down with bleach for half an hour and have to stay behind a brick wall so they are unlikely to be bringing in much. (And very often visitors are extremely careful with social distancing themselves, meticulous about hand washing, etc, or even shielding, so again, unlikely to be much of a threat.)

I would like to see evidence of one person - just one - who has caught covid from an under-quarantined cake.
I totally agree with you. This has shaken my faith badly in the system from so many angles. Heard last night that my mum has sustained another fall, on only her third full day at the home. She didn’t have a fall at all in hospital where she was for the previous three weeks.. Four serious falls in two weeks in her previous home from which SS removed her. Another case of under supervision during yet another enforced isolation,
so many questions but sadly no answers yet
 

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