I got through Christmas!

[elaine n]

I did it! I got through Christmas!

I was exhausted when it was all over though, just trying to be 'ok' for my lovely daughter who tried so hard, bless her. Mostly she kept it low key and relaxed but each day dropped an unexpected bombshell - Christmas eve ' We're going to meet D parents ( in laws) for a drink this evening' I thought ' No! can't do that!' but it was fine, we had a nice time. Christmas day ' We're going to meet some friends in the pub before lunch for an hour' - I thought 'Noooooo! I can't do that!' - we went, it was fine. Boxing day 'We're going to have supper with friends tonight, they're cooking roast beef' I thought - well, you already know what I thought! As we were walking there she let slip that there would, in fact, be 7 of us NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They were lovely people, no one made a fuss of me although of course they were all aware of my situation, which was great and we had a really good time! Lots of lively conversation, lots of laughing and a wonderful meal. Ok, I was knackered when we got home but it's made me realise that actually I can still enjoy myself, distraction is good for me and once upon a time long ago I was very much a people person!
Now I have to get through new year's eve. At home on my own again all I want to do is hide away and wallow in misery but there's a tiny bit of me that thinks I shouldn't give in to this

 

[Grannie G]

A brilliant outcome Elaine. Who would have thought it. Well done your daughter for arranging these distractions. And well done you for not allowing yourself to chicken out. xx

 

[elaine n]

Thanks Sylvia. She's too lovely for me to make her feel uncomfortable with her efforts to help me - I suspect she knows me too well!

 

[Helen33]

Dear Elaine, you will never know just how much I related to your tale of having to face the world.

It shows that you thrive making connection even though part of you wants to be a hermit. You will thrive with other people who are able to make a real connection. You have just experienced something that will stand you in good stead in the coming days, months, years. Please don't become a hermit.

Love

 

[CaPattinson]

Great news Elaine! You must be proud of your daughter! Well done both of you!!!

QuoteAt home on my own again all I want to do is hide away and wallow in misery but there's a tiny bit of me that thinks I shouldn't give in to this

There is hope!

I'm sure there will be friends her to help you through New Year, I for one will be here!

Baby steps, baby steps

 

[elaine n]

Thanks Helen and Chris x

I AM a people person, but I'm so scared of meeting people socially. Having been here before, I mean losing a husband, I'm very aware how important it is to hang on to the good moments and feelings afterwards and not feel that I have to submerge myself in grief. Christmas has given me a little bit of respite but I still have all the legal stuff to do yet with the will etc - that's going to be so messy I can't even think of it yet!

 

[danny]

I am so pleased to read this Elaine. I`m not for one minute thinking that it is all plain sailing, I`m just so pleased you got thru Xmas

It is going to be hard Elaine but you will get there, especially having your family to support you.

Best wishes, Angela.

 

[sallyc]

Just take one day at a time Elaine.

And feel whatever you need to feel.

I will probably be around new years eve.

Thinking of you and sending a ((((((hug))))))

 

[elaine n]

Thank you x

 

[Loopiloo]

So pleased for you Elaine, getting through Christmas - and it did sound nice! Your daughter sounds to know you well and to have made good choices. There is life after dementia, although it will take time; go at your own pace.

I hate the feeling of misery, and I'm not a wallower, but grief takes its own form and time and there will be lows, but you will get there. You daughter has helped you to discover that is possible!

Be kind to yourself.
Loo xx

 

[nellbelles]

I did it! I got through Christmas!

but it's made me realise that actually I can still enjoy myself, distraction is good for me and once upon a time long ago I was very much a people person!

Well done lady.. You are an inspiration to all of us who follow in your footsteps.

Love Helen x

 

[Izzy]

You're a star Elaine - so is your daughter. Wishing you much strength for the days and weeks to come. x

 

[Linda Mc]

Well done you, and your daughter for being so thoughtful and going one step at a time.

Love

 

[Helen33]

Hi Elaine,

There is the grief and there can also be fear and anxiety which is based on the 'changed reality' which other people might not be aware of. Some things were too hard for me to talk of to people generally because of the fear that they might misunderstand what I was saying and this led to anxiety. I had a lot of sifting and sorting to do financially and I was always dreading that hitches would arise which meant me coping with even more stress. It can be a truly horrific time. HOWEVER, even with these things, one way or another we do get through them. Personally when things get as though they are beyond me, I reach out to the 'universe' and I have been amazed at what can turn up. Sometimes something practical but mostly a new way of thinking which lights up the way in which I need to go. I have never been disappointed. You really are a people person (I remember London).

but I'm so scared of meeting people socially

I think this is natural at this time Elaine. It is far too soon to feel really happy and comfortable doing this as you must be emotionally full to the brim with such a mixture of feelings and your mind must be full to the brim with the 'changed reality'. A time will eventually come when you long to socialise with people again and when that time comes you will know that a little healing has come

Love and a (HUG)

 

[larivy]

Well done Elaine I know how hard it must have been for you love larivy

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Well done Elaine. xx