I should have been taking my husband out of the ward yesterday for an hour or so. He is on a ward for people with depression and I have often heard patients say that they are scared to go off the ward and ward staff have often asked patients if they are frightened. I went onto the ward armed with my husband's coat, hat, gloves etc and immediately he said, 'No - I'm not going out!' So with the staff having modelled what I thought to be the right thing to say, I asked him if he was frightened to go off the ward. 'Yes' he replied and that initiated the most awful barrage of verbal abuse against me. I suspect, unwittingly, I had injured his pride because I have never known him admit he was scared of doing anything. I tried to calm him by saying it would be a practise run for when he came home and he said, in no uncertain terms, that he would never be coming home and certainly not to me. Grief!! All this happened just after lunch. When I visited at teatime he was still very angry with me. Part of me was pleased in a way because it meant that he had remembered he was angry with me. Just the night before I had finished reading 'The Simplicity of Dementia' which has wonderful information about how to preserve a person with dementia's pride and self esteem by carefully formulating questions etc. I got it all wrong and I fell at the first hurdle!! And it's Sunday again. I've gone off Sundays totally.
Love from Sammyb
Love from Sammyb