I can't get my mom to bath or wash

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by blackb15, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,984
    Cotswolds
    This has been a gradually increasing difficulty here too, and my husband gave up the bath for the shower some time ago. He's become very temperature sensitive, and I think he sometimes can't remember how to control the water temperature or the force of the flow.I think sometimes lately he's run the shower for me to hear, but hasn't actually been inside the cubicle himself!

    I put everything he needs in place, and tell him how nice is the smell of the latest shower gel ( and so much easier to manage than soap) and when he says he feels cold, I say he'll feel so much warmer after wrapping himself in that lovely warm towel. He manages much better with a small soft sponge than with a flannel. It takes an awful lot of cajoling, but we've managed quite well so far.

    Once or twice I've casually mentioned that we can't possibly go out to somewhere he really wants to go, until he's had his shower..." You wouldn't want them to think you're smelly would you?" That has worked because he really wants to go.

    I suppose the real problem comes when people stop caring or being aware of themselves. "You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink".

    In the film Iris, the best friend got Iris to shower by making it a fun thing where the two old friends showered together.


    Best of luck...would love to hear of any other tricks that work.
     
  2. Marilyn1944

    Marilyn1944 Registered User

    Jan 28, 2015
    1
    Manchester UK
    Hi Paul, I just registered today, and found your post. I wish I knew the answer, but I am in the same situation myself. My mother is 95, has always been strong minded and interested in current events. Now she thinks every day is Sunday, is too depressed to watch TV or listen to the radio. She either pretends she has washed or believes she has, but absolutely refuses to let me do it or access any outside carers. She has alarming tantrums every time I ask her to put on clean clothes so I can was the dirty ones. The only way I deal with it is to assure myself it is not life threatening and not important in the bigger scheme of things. It is unpleasant though.
     
  3. blackb15

    blackb15 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2015
    23
    Marilyn thanks for that I think that's the way I wil have to go .I had the chiropodist around the house yesterday there well over an hour we got nowhere apart from really upsetting my mother really appreciate your help
    cheers Paul
     

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