I am so sick of adults attitude with AD/Dementia

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by christine_batch, Jul 8, 2008.

  1. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    This evening, I went to visit my daughter, Grandson & my 15 years old Grandaughter.
    Her Science Teacher, knows she is under stress worrying about her Grandfather and he keeps making horrible remarks about AD.
    Lauren is in tears in class.
    This same Teacher, has had 3 letters of complaint sent to the School about him by my daughter and nothing has been done.
    To say I am very angry and upset is an understatement.
    Lauren is a straight A Student. How she ever manged to achieve those marks, well she is doing it because Lauren & Peter have a very special bond. I know Grandad doesn't understand anymore Nanny but Grandad was always so proud and supportive to me.
    At this present time, if any of your my virtual friends would send AD/Dementia information to this complete insensative pig, please all advice would be really welcome.
    Yes I am typing with a heavy heart and crying but that is how I am feeling.
    Best wishes
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    Christine - so sorry that your granddaughter is having to put up with this from someone who should know better, teachers should be above this sort of behaviour. I'm afraid if it were my daughter I would be phoning the headmaster/mistress's secretary and asking for an urgent appontment to see him/her and asking for the science master to be at that appointment as I wished to make a formal complaint.
    I would make certain I quoted verbatim what he has said.Failing any action by the headmaster/mistress I would contact the board of governors.

    Hugs to Lauren and yourself
  3. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear May,
    Thank you for your reply. We are treating this very seriously indeed.

    Unfortunatly, at my son's wedding the bride's father who would not show his speech before the wedding also made a joke about AD.

    They have messed with the wrong person when they cross the line.

    It is hard enough as a family dealing with this herrendous illness without ignorant people making jokes.

    I have sent email to Head with formal complaint and a copy will go to Ofsted.

    Thank you once again.
  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Definitely follow up on this. I cannot believe that in this day & age a teacher would be so ignorant.

    A formal written complaint, hard copy, with perhaps a letter to your MP? That is outrageous behaviour & a person like that should not be teaching.

    My love to you and Lauren. She sounds like a very special girl.
  5. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London

    this is what I would do.

    the initial hierarchy of complaint is, in my opinion:

    #1 personal visit
    #2 personal phone call plus confirmatory written/posted letter
    #2 written/posted letter
    #3 email

    Emails are too easily lost and are not generally taken as seriously - may even get filtered out by secretary or spam filter.

    If none of those work, then PTA, governors, MP, press follow. Daily Mail loves to cover Alzheimer's stories.
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Christine

    It sounds to me as if this teacher is courting cheap popularity by making a pupil the butt of his jokes. We've all met them!:(

    It doesn't usually work, intelligent pupils are more likely to be embarrassed than amused, but that doesn't stop it being painful for the pupil concerned, and it has to be stopped.

    How would it be if you printed out copies of the stages of dementia document and took them with you for your interview? You could indicate what stage Peter is at, and perhaps that would convince them that it isn't funny.

  7. laura92

    laura92 Registered User

    Aug 28, 2007
    Is he aiming it at Lauren?
    Even if not it's wrong but i'm sure if its aimied it's classed as discrimination, so you can complain about that, which i think has to be taken action for. i'm sure in that sense its a legal matter, if the school don't stop it could always go one better and go to education welfare?
    i'm not much help, from my experience teachers are useless.
    i hope you get it sorted,
    Can you ask for to change classes?
    Hope Laurens ok
    Sorry i'm not much help, anything i can do i'm here.
    Lots of love
  8. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Laura,
    Yes it was Lauren.
    I do value what you have to say and I thank you for it.
    Although Lauren has very supportive friends, this man will be held to account.
    From a teenager's point of view, if you wanted to become a Scientist and perhaps one day find a cure for Alzheimer's, this unspeakable person could put that pupil off for life.
    I have had acknowledgement from the School by email and they are going to contact me.
    My daughter has also sent 4th letter of complaint.
    I will give them until Monday.
    Do hope your job experience is going well. From what you had written, you have learnt something from it.
    Love from
    Christine xxx
    p.s. yes I did go to the Doctor's.
  9. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    So sorry to hear about Lauren, i, as you might remember was in a similar situation a while ago with my teacher who also used to make horrible comments and embarass me in class.
    Although its tough to begin with speaking to the head and head of year made a big difference for me. My teacher had no expereince of AD and seemed to think her ignorance was an excuse to mock, however- after my head of year was informed it did make a big difference.
    I hope everyting is sorted out soon- i have a copy of the comments people previously left me when i posted about my situation if you would like a copy to refer back to just let me know :) i found that my dad having the comments people had left with him when he spoke to the head made a big difference as he actually began to understand how this teachers comments had affected many carers, not just myself.
    good luck and lots of hugs,
    lv lauren xxxxxx
  10. andrear

    andrear Registered User

    Feb 13, 2008
    Hi Christine
    So sorry to hear about this appalling situation. Unfortunately there are so many ignorant people out there who think its OK to mock and make fun of people.
    Please do keep everything in writing and date it and if possible make sure you put the time on aswell. Timing is a key factor.
    Please let us know how everything goes.
    Love AndreaX
  11. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    You should always send copies of any letters to the school to the chair of Governors as well..they have to act on them.

    Perhaps this person should have a visit arranged for him to a care home then he might change his tune!!!

    Good luck.

    Linda x
  12. Squibbs

    Squibbs Registered User

    May 13, 2008
    Portsmouth, England
    Just want to echo what everyone else has said . I am a school governor and I would also like to stress the importance of including the chairman of the governors - until I became one I did not realise the influence and 'clout' the governors have in a school.
  13. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    Hello Christine

    I can't add anything but I just wanted to wish you success in getting this sorted. From reading your thread through it seems that you have lots of support and some good advice.

    Love to yu

  14. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Dear Christine,

    Teachers play such a big role in guidance for kids you would think after one letter concerning his behaviour towards remarks about ALZ he would of addressed the matter apologised to Lauren and end of story. The teacher sounds like a real IGNORAMUS!

    Good Luck, love Taffy.
  15. Kelp222

    Kelp222 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2008
    Vermont, US

    As a teacher and a caregiver I say stand strong. This teacher's behavior is totally inappropriate. Be strong and driven, for your granddaughter's sake and for others he may come in contact with. Let your anger work for you. Kelly
  16. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    Our complaints procedure at school is:

    Ask to speak with the Headteacher.
    The Headteacher is required to investigate and provide you with a written report of the outcome of his/her investigation.

    If you are not happy with the results of the investigation and subsequent letter, you should then formally write a letter to the Headteacher with a copy to the Chair of Governors and a copy to the Director of Children's Services (Education).

    If that fails - newspaper.

    Love from sammyb
  17. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Thank you to everyone for your support.

    When anyone crosss the thin line regarding my family, the simple message is DONT YOU DARE.

    I thank you all for your support.

    I have a meeting with the School on Monday at 9. This Teacher is know as not listening, well I would walk on hot coals for my Grandaughter. This b****y Science Teacher even pulled Lauren up to-day - the reason why .. she had written her name on a piece of work she was doing ?????

    Lauren according to her friends always has her head in the books and studies hard. Learnt Latin in one week, learnt to play the oboe in 6 weeks. She never brags, gets on with everything she does. Speaks 4 languages and even helps her friends with homework they don't understand.

    She can still be like lots of teenagers but Lauren know respect for her elders and is never rude.

    Lauren will not stay at that School for her 6th term has chosen an alternative School but I will not let them get away with it, as the future pupils, who are our future with be in his class.

    As a disabled person, it will be quite interesting how that will be taken.

    I once took Peter to see Jim Davidson, he loved seeing him. I was sitting in the front row in my wheelchair and Jim remarked, "just because you have brought your own chair, I hope you paid to come in". That I can accept, it was coming from a commediene. As an ex teacher who organised Holiday Play Schemes for 3,000 children per week, will I be phased by this NO.

    This evening my youngest daughter telephoned to tell me about two little children diagnoised with AD.

    I thank each and everyone of you for being here and so supportive and I will keep you informed.

    For all the Lauren's teenager friends who think I am a Ace Grandmother, I could organise with them a protest, with press in attendence.

    Love to everyone of you.
    Thank you
  18. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Christine

    So sorry for the troubles your Lauren is experiencing with her Science teacher.

    My Grandson also had trouble with his science teacher:rolleyes: What is it about science teachers?

    I'm sure you will get your point across.

    Did I read your post correctly, two young children diagnosed with AD:eek:? THAT IS HORRIFYING!

  19. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Hi alfjess,
    Yes it was in a paper my daughter read to-day. I have already been following the story of a little boy of 2 years old who has been diagnoised with AD.
    It is heart breaking when they have not even lived their young lives.
    At our AGM facts from Head Office in the talk given was as following three illness:
    Cancer - treatment available
    Heart - treatment available
    bottom of the list was AD/Demetia where hardly anything was being done for suffers & Carers.
    Now on Talking Point, we are well aware from our own experience how little support we get.

    Best wishes
  20. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    just wanted to add- i agree you are an ace grandmother and i have 100% confidence that you will have this sorted out, this teacher has behaved in the most unkind, unjustified and inappropriate way and must be dealt with- you are the perfect person to do so. good luck with everything we all believe in you 110% xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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