Hi I am new to talking ,my oh was diagnosed with dementia 2 and half years ago but I think he had it quite awhile before he was diagnosed,just wanted to know really if anyone has the same problem as me with talking my oh doesn't talk much to me now and when he does want to tell me or ask something he forgets the words and I try to help him find the words to use its so flustrating for both of us and then after all the guessing he just can't be bothered and says it doesn't matter some times I really don't know how to help ,I do such a lot now and I get really upset and sad and think why us ,I think I feel I really want to talk to someone that's going through the same as me ,I know I'm not the only one ,I feel sad life has changed so much .
Hi
@Martarita and welcome to Talking Point.
My husband's speech also became affected as the dementia progressed. There was nothing I could do to stop it, but a few strategies did help keep him communicating to some extent - even if it was limited to responses of one of two words towards the end.
I found that the atmosphere was key to most communication. In the earlier stages my husband was happy to have a group of people around him. He enjoyed their chat but we developed key rules in that only one person would talk at a time and we would leave time for my husband to find the words (sometimes with a little help from me, but not to the point of finishing off everything he was trying to say).
As things progressed I found that the best way to communicate with my husband was to have as little background noise as possible. I don't mean that we sat in total silence, we enjoyed tv or background music etc, but if my husband was trying to say something I would turn the background sound off, which helped him gather his thoughts.
Again, as things progressed, I had to adapt the way I spoke to him. Short sentences were more likely to get a response than longer ones, which he found harder to hold on to.
One of the other things I noticed as things progressed was that my husband seldom initiated a conversation - but he was happy to try and respond to comments I or others made, given the time and space to do so.
Eventually communication came down to a handful of words - but even these had great meaning when accompanied by one of his lovely smiles, a worried look of simply the holding of hands.
It is difficult to lose the to and fro of general conversation and I did miss the chatter and banter I'd previously enjoyed with my husband - but I was glad to have some kind of communication going for as long as we did.