I am new, just need to type

[Babyr12]

My partner who is 81 has Alzheimer’s along with a lot of physical health issues, heart failure, orthostatic hypotension.

he was diagnosed in 2018. He has just been in hospital for 7 weeks, they were trying to stabilise his OH. After 7 weeks they said they had done all they could do. He had three falls prior to hospital and one in hospital. He had two prior admissions in November last year and January this year. I have cared for him without any help since he was diagnosed. He gets dizzy very easily.

he seems to have deteriorated a lot in the last 6 months.

I do not have good mental health and we are currently having a reablement visit every morning as the medication I take at night means I do not function well in the morning. We had renablement after his last two hospitalisations.

my mental health has really suffered during the 7 week hospitalisation. He wouldn’t eat the hospital food so I was constantly taking food in. The doctors didn’t communicate with me very well. I was constantly battling to find out what was going on. I am very stressed and the slightest thing has me in tears.

the renablement people are already putting pressure on, he hasn’t even been out a week yet. I am frantically contacting care agencies to get something set up. He has some savings so we have to pay for care. I am astounded at the cost, £30 for 1/2 hour. Is this usual?

he has two zimmer frames and I got a stair lift installed. He is supposed to wait for the carer to have a wash and use the stairlift.

I got up for a wee at 9.30am this morning which is unusual for me, normally I am not up until around 11-12. the renablement people come in at 10.30am for an hour. He really needs them earlier but we had no choice. I found him in the shower, sat on the bath board thank god, but with the step he uses when I shower him to get in the bath in front of him in the bath on top of a bath mat.. He had also used the stairs without the stairlift. The lift was unfolded so he had gone downstairs on it and then squeezed past it to go upstairs.

I was beside myself, could not stop crying. He doesn’t always go dizzy before a fall. Now I just feel numb. he thought I would be pleased. The carer arrived and explained the risk to him. I just feel so overwhelmed.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Babyr12.

I’m so sorry to read about your situation. You both sound very vulnerable. I know that you said that your husband will have to pay for care but I think it’s worth asking for a needs assessment for him.

Assessment for care and support in England

What are care assessments and how can people with dementia and their carers access them? This information is for care and support in England.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[JAYBEN]

Oh bless you ! it must be so difficult for you both. It's awful that you work all your life so that you can have some security in old age and they make you pay for everything . My husband's grandad ( long since passed now ) used to tell us when we were younger " Never have any money, they'll take the lot ! " meaning he was having to pay for every bit of help for grandma . Do you have any other family who could help you , even if its only for mental support . It must be very worrying for you ,especially with the dizziness and bless him he probably thought he was just helping by trying to get ready himself , without bothering you. My husband has only recently been diagnosed with vascular and he's 69 , and sometimes feels a bit dizzy , although it does pass quickly . I worry about him and its no where near as bad as your husbands so I cant imagine how stressed and worried you are. Finding good care workers can be challenging , but hopefully you can get some good advice from the people on here , and also from the Alzheimer's Society. There's always someone who will answer you so don't be afraid of just coming on here and typing away , we all need support . Please take care and don't forget to look after yourself too .

 

[Vincebeer]

I think every Carer deserves a medal . I Understand & sympathise as I start my second year caring for my wife .
Practical idea on getting a direct respite care person now that recession is looming . Online ad in free ads , local paper , local supermarket , church , near hospitals & nursing homes ,,,,& let others know !

 

[Babyr12]

Thank you for your replies. I do think it is only a matter of time before he falls and is in hospital again. He is strong and can walk well so I can see him forgetting to use chair lift/frame again at some point. Yes, the dizziness is multiple times a day and frightening.
I will get a carer in in the morning and just pay what I have to. I no longer have any umph after the long hospital stay to do the ad thing although that is a really good idea. I am worn out so have to keep it as easy as possible.
We saw the renablement senior today. I mentioned the needs assessment. She said that was sort of what they are doing. Again, I haven’t got the energy to push or argue.
I am focusing on priorities, as much rest as possible for me and getting a carer sorted.
After that, I am going to get the bathroom refitted with walk in shower etc to make it safer. Might as well spend some money as they will get it for care anyway.