I am finding it hard

[mum of two]

Hi, I am finding it really hard to come to terms with the fact that my mum (67) may not walk again after she fell & broke her hip. She broke it on the 21 Nov & hasn't been able to stand yet alone walk. She has been in her local hospital since December. My dad wants her to come home even if she is comfinded to a bed.I know he would have to see if a hoist was an opption. If she can't walk anymore she will never be able to come over to mine . She loved to as she lived near where I live when she was a girl. It is so heartbreaking.when I said to her the other day about trihg to walk so that she could come over to mine she seemed to have a spark. She can't have pyhsio at the moment as they have got the Norvo Virus at the hospital & they aren't allowed to go into the ward. The last time they tried to do something with my mum was before christmas. does anyone know if there is a possiblity that she will be able to walk again. Thanks Mum of Two

 

[Cate]

Hi Mum of Two

So sorry to hear about your mum. Its really only the doctors and or the physio who can answer your question as to whether mum will walk again. I would say dont give up hope, it appears because of the virus the physio is not able to start working with your mum, I would wait and see before you get yourself upset about it.

If mum is unable to walk again, dont give up hope about her visitng your home again, I am sure the physio will be able to advise how to get mum into a car, wheelchair etc., and an assessment will be completed at your parents home to see what aids are needed there.

Best wishes
Cate

 

[mum of two]

Thanks Cate,
I really do want her to walk again as i don't think that i am ready to let go of thay bit of her yet . We as a family are getting over losing my mother in law . It was 2 years in October but we all stil miss her . She was poorly for a while went to hospital then 2 weeks later she was dead. Liver cancer . We lived with her & her husband who is still alive.
My dad said that the pyhsio's were going to have a meeting this wed to talk about what was next. So will have to wait & see.
He has his own health problems bowel cancer which can't be opperated on due to his weak heart. All he seems worried about is mum& getting her back home.
I do try & stay possitive when I see my Mum, I know that she needs alot of that.
Thanks Mum of Two

 

[fredsnail]

My Grandfather broke his hip in May and is now able to walk with a rollator. He could walk about a dozen steps with the rollator (aided) when he was discharged from hospital in Sept but since being in a home he can now walk down some long corridors unaided - though he does get lost or confused about which direction he should be going in.

Don't give up on her yet - things take time to heal and it's still early days physically.

 

[lesmisralbles]

Helllo Mum of Two

You keep strong
Mum has to want to walk. It might take time.
Look after you X
Barb & Ron X

 

[Margarita]

If mum is unable to walk again, dont give up hope about her visitng your home again, I am sure the physio will be able to advise how to get mum into a car, wheelchair etc., and an assessment will be completed at your parents home to see what aids are needed there.

I agree with that , but its better to think of the worse hope for the best, as even in the worse there hope , as your mother will be able to still visit you .

I can only imagine how you must feel in not seeing you mother not being able to walk, must be very hard to except it .

rollator (aided)

fredsnail what is a rollator aided is it a Zimmer frame ?

 

[Helen33]

Hi mum of two

My neighbour is 94 and she fell last year and broke her hip. None of us expected her to come home again because of her age. She was an active 94 year old and used to walk to the shops every day. She had hospital treatment obviously and was in hospital for quite a while and was then transferred to a nursing home for a while to recover from the op. Anyway she is now back in her home and walks with a frame with wheels on and a brake. She is amazing and it just goes to show that sometimes it is possible to make a good recovery.

Love and best wishes

 

[mum of two]

Thanks to all ,
Thank you to for all of our advice & positvity. It sure has given me a boost. i really want her to walk & to be able to come home. She needs alot of positive thinking which I try to do when I see her. I know she used to be a fighter & I think that deep down it is still in her just abit hidden. it's like finding the right key to unlock adoor. Just have to keep trying.
what is a Rollator? Mum has got a frame with 3 wheels on & a brake. She used to use it to walk about in her bunglow. The nurses asked my dad to bring it to the hospital so that is there when she needs it I surpose.
I want to spend as much time with her as I can . She's not only my mum she's my best friend.
At least from your coments it's not time to give up hope.
Thanks again
Mum of two

 

[rhallacroz]

HI There
Do not give up hope my dad is at home and doesn;t walk due to vascular dementia he is in a hospital bed in the lounge with carers we have a hoist to move hime to the wheelchair and he goes to a day centre 4 days a week. So anything is possible dont give up. Demand a package and get your mum home.
Kind regards

 

[mum of two]

Hi Rhallacroz,
Thanks for your reply. I told my Dad today about what people have witten to me on here & that we must not give up hope . For her to be able to walk a bit would be great . I told him that we have to give her as much encouragement as possible. I will keep telling her about coming over to mine as she really loves to come over here which is good.

My Dad told me tonight that they have finished the deep cleansing of the hospital which is good. I just wished that they could have diagnosed her sooner then she would have been able to come over more & do more things together when she was " normal". I want to be able to spend some time with her as we lost my mother in law so quick . There wasn't time to bring her home . She had liver cancer.
The pyhsico's should have had a meeting on Monday about Mum but were unable to as some one was ill . They should be having it tommorrow all being well. My Dad has made it clear to them that he wants to have his wife home.
So we will wait & see .
From Mum of Two

 

[jenniferpa]

Well just make sure that he gets as much help as possible from social services.

I do think possibly part of the reason that your mother is not yet walking again is that when you have dementia you simply don't have the ability to learn new things - in this case walking with the walker. And if you don't do that you won't walk. If she is even seeing phisos in the hospital (which she may not be) that will be at most for 10 minutes a day if that and that's not enough for her to regain her strength. Possibly if she's at home with your father and he's encouraging her she may yet walk again.

 

[Sandy]

Hi mum of two,

You might want to look at this article, especially 1/3 of the way down the page - a son's account of his mother's experience:

http://www.annalsoflongtermcare.com/article/6903

Take care,

Sandy

 

[mum of two]

Hi Sandy,
Thanks for your link, I found it very intresting. I spoke to my Dad tonight & he said that she had som pyhsio today . When he saw her in the afternoon her leg was a bit straighter. I told him that was a good sign . They are going to go to thier bunglow to see what things he will need in place to help mum when she comes home .I think that it gave him the boost that he needed.
Thanks again
Mum of Two

 

[Margarita]

what is a Rollator? Mum has got a frame with 3 wheels on & a brake. She used to use it to walk about in her bunglow. The nurses asked my dad to bring it to the hospital so that is there when she needs it I surpose.

That sounds good, because when your mother gets stronger on her legs , she still have the skills to know how to use it, because your mother use it before the accident

My mother could not get the hang of the brakes, as she had never use one before so had to use a Zimmer frame .


My mother did have a few falls, but never broke any bones. But she did lose the confidant to walk on her own , so the Zimmer frame make her feel safe in case mum loses her balance while walking .

 

[Margaret W]

Hi Mum of Two

Get your mum on the physio, pronto, I am sure you have. There is no alternative. I cried when I read that she was your best friend as well as being your mum. Forget the Mum bit, I know what I would be doing for my best friend. Concentrate on the physio. It might be painful and frustrating, but if it gets your mum mobile you will have done her the biggest favour that any friend can do.

Keep us posted, and good luck my love.

Margaret

 

[fredsnail]

Apologies for confusing you all with "rollator" - it's basically a zimmer frame with 2 wheels on so it rolls along without having to be lifted (it doesn't have a brake). We were told it was a rollator but I may have spelt it wrong.

Mum of two I'm really glad that your Mum has now started to have physio - it will help her and a home assessment is good news too.

 

[mum of two]

Hi Margaret & Fredsnail,
My dad & I went to a meeting today about mum's future. The O T , physico & someone to do with social services went to my parents bunglowto see if it would be practical for my mum to come home. There would have to be some changes & some furniture would have to go. It all depends on weather there is enough space for a specially made wheelchair . If not then it is going to be a home. Which isn't what any of us want but she will have to be able to get from her bed with help of a hoist into the chair then onto an ambulance for dyalisis 3 times a week.
My dad found it hard I think because maybe he hasn't seen how bad shwe can get until now.
I have 2 brothers 1 lives about 55 miles away the other lives 5 mins away. The one who's the furthest away doesn't phone much yet alone visit. The closest one goes round to see my dad before he goes to work most days . He works nights . when he goes there he talks about his work that he hates & doesn't want to talk about mum or dad. He seems to not want to know.
My Mum has deterated since she has been in her local hsopital. A few weeks ago she could feed her self & peel a satsuma now she has to have it done for her. I don't know if my dad will be able to cope with mum at home. It is hard as I have heard on here & he has several health problems himself.
They want to put my Mum's leg in a cast & do this over several weeks to see if they can straighten her knee. Then to put a splint on her leg to strenghten it. They have to wait & see if the hospital where she had the opp will O K it.

Just seeing her sit in her supported chair is heartbreaking sge looks so helpless...

From Mum of Two

 

[fredsnail]

I'm sorry that the home visit didn't go as well as you had hoped.

Is there any stimulation in the ward where she is or are they left to their own devices for most of the day. Grandad deteriorated considerably in the hospital, slept during most of the day and then was wide awake imagining all sorts during the night. However there was a gradual improvement once he moved into the home.

Many of our family members seem want to remain in denial or just want to "remember him as he was" so since he's moved into the home it's just Mum and me who visit Grandad, his other daughter has visited once and his neice has visited once. It means that life can be very difficult for those who are more involved as you tend to get little support or an ear to bend when you've had a bad day. We make a point of telling those who've not visited how Grandad is - even if they don't want to hear it - because at least they're kept informed.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you mum of two

 

[mum of two]

Hi Fredsnail,
I am soory to hear that your family don't seem to be on the same wave length. In times like these we have to stick together& help each other out.
My Mum doesn't get any stimulation as far as I know. The physicos try to do things with her but with her lack of strengh & understanding about there needs to be a little pain to be mobile. they are limited in what to do . they want her to have it in a cast & change it each week to straighten it , but have to wait from other hospital to see if she can. Each time I see her she seems to beless aware which is hard . My husband said to me that last sunday when we saw her she reminded him of when we were visting his mother who had liver cancer. she was only in hospital for 2 weeks. I know that my Dad wants her home but I don't know weather it will be to much for him as he has his own health problems.
My Mum has daiyalis3 times a week which really makes her tired. I don't think that it is helping her . She gets picked up at 11.30 am & brought back at 6.00 pm . She is useally finished at 3.00 pm but has to wait for transport.
Try to keep your chin up
Mum of Two

 

[Cate]

Hi Mum of two

I think a good point has been made about the lack of stimulation.

Sadly due to other pressures of work hospital staff do not always have the time to spend with individuals on promoting self care. Hospital staff sometimes, I feel, think it’s quicker for them to do these small tasks for patients rather than encourage the patients to do these things for themselves.

Is there anyone available who could collect your mum after dialysis, or is that not feasible, maybe you could request that mum is brought home in an ambulance car; I’m not surprised she gets tired after dialysis then a 3 hour wait to be taken home.

Only you and dad can decide if he will be able to cope, but Social Services should be looking at providing your dad with some practical support caring for mum on a day to day basis, and if she is able when well enough physically they could arrange for mum to go to a Day Centre one or two days a week, this would give mum some extra stimulation, and give dad a break. In my experience if you don’t ask for these things, they are not always forthcoming.

Try not to look too far into the future, if dad can cope for just a little while, look on that as a bonus. Day by day was always my motto.