I am angry in the evenings

[WilliamEvans]

I AM ANGRY IN THE EVENINGS

William Evans

March 2024​

So, this is about my Dementia, to be specific, Vascular Dementia. I was diagnosed almost a year ago in August of 2023. I have read and watched many things about dementia and found that almost everything is said or written by Drs. or caregivers. I am still skeptical of the diagnosis and I’m hoping the Dr. is wrong.

For all my life I have forgotten names and phone numbers. I have had trouble with remembering steps in tasks that I haven’t done for some time. Things like troubleshooting plumbing problems or structuring a paper I’m writing. But I have always worked it out after a few moments. After my diagnosis my wife and other family members are always watching me and are quick to correct me. This is hard for me to accept. Sometimes I’ll get irritated when questioned about somethings; particularly when I’ve thought through the process or problem and decided on how to proceed.

It's possible that some mental organizational processes are not as sharp as they once were, but I know where I am, what day it is, where I’m going and what I’ll do when I get there. I know what my wife and I did yesterday, the day before, last week and the week before. When I get frustrated and defend myself, I get “the look” and a “okay” which I know is a caregiver response of picking her battles with me.

Am I fading, or are people looking for me to fade and read normative behaviors as Dementia symptoms, which angers me and then I get a “there, there” or “okay”?

Oh yeah, I forgot, I turn 70 this year. Pun intended. I get tired of this by the evening and become angry.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this part of the process?

William

 

[Grannie G]

Is this part of the process?

It can be @WilliamEvans

I can give you an explanation for the tiredness which causes anger in the evenings It's called sundowning.

Sundowning and dementia

Sometimes a person with dementia will behave in ways that are difficult to understand in the late afternoon or early evening. This is known as 'Sundowning'.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

I`m not sure if this will help you or make you feel worse. I hope having an explanation will help.

Your wife and other family members are treading carefully with you, not wanting to hurt you or make life more difficult. You are obviously sensitive to their reactions when you get frustrated, anyone would be, but they have not yet learned how to behave without causing you to feel defensive.

Perhaps if you let your wife and family know to give you time, it will take some of the pressure off you.

I hope others with a diagnosis will post to support you and share their symptoms and frustration so you will not only be supported by carers on the forum.

 

[MatthewB]

I'm very sorry Mr William for what you are going through I have that vascular dimension too and I know what you mean sometimes I feel more like a little kid getting in everybody's way then then a man I don't think they mean to do it and I know I do goof some thing up so many thing but it is a lot of humiliation in a little time so sometimes we rebel against that for me is good to be humble humbled but it's still very hard difficult I tried to remember I try to remember that the others are dealing with a real hard situation too not just me this thing this mind weakening thing it's not just happened to me but to everyone I love me if I'm having a hard time with it how could they not be having a hard time too? Maybe it don't help you knowing others have the same troubles but maybe it does I sure hope so maybe we can talk more as Time moved by. God bless you sir and all the fine people here praying for you this is Matt

 

[MatthewB]

I have to have compassion on those folks and understand understanding too cause they have those things for me a forgiving heart is a very happy heart I'm known that for a fact is Matt again

 

[maggie6445]

@MatthewB , I do love reading your posts. You are such a lovely thoughtful person. Best wishes to you and your family. Happy Easter x

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @MatthewB Lovely to see you again, and a Happy Easter from me to you and your family.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @WilliamEvans and welcome to the forum from me also. I wonder if it would help your family members if they were also to join the forum so that they can learn a bit more about your diagnosis. In the meantime I do hope that you find the forum supportive and helpful.

 

[MatthewB]

@MatthewB , I do love reading your posts. You are such a lovely thoughtful person. Best wishes to you and your family. Happy Easter x

God bless you miss Maggie such a nice thing to say thank you for your good wishes to my family and I'm I'm praying you have a wonderful Easter day too

 

[MatthewB]

Hello @MatthewB Lovely to see you again, and a Happy Easter from me to you and your family.

Hi Miss swallow is so good here on YouTube on no no on you too you are one that is help me so many God bless you and yours this Easter and on and on

 

[yoy]

@WilliamEvans I too was wondering if your family might benefit from this forum. When my mum was diagnosed I think I used to be like your family, and mum would sometimes tell me I was treating her like a child when I thought I was just trying to be helpful. But I have learned such a lot from reading round the posts on this forum - much more than any "professional" explained when she was diagnosed. So I just thought your family might learn too so you can all live with it a bit more easily ....?