My partner has FTD and can be very unkind. We’ve been unlucky to have a few domestic challenges over the last ten days - problems with freezer and car, and a sick pet who had to be taken to the vet - and it seems to exacerbate his mood when I cope with these things: I think it rubs it in that these are things that he would once have dealt with himself. Whatever the reason, I’ve had the anxiety of all these things going wrong, plus him being horrible to me, with no relief because the outside contact I normally have is suspended over the holiday period, and I end up feeling I just don’t want to do this any more. I have to keep reminding myself that once I can get out and about again, I will feel so much better. I just wish people wouldn’t look so disappointed when I don’t answer enthusiastically when they ask me what kind of a Christmas I’ve had. I try to be positive - I know it’s depressing when people don’t respond with festive joy - but I find it hard to lie.
I’m so glad the holiday is nearly over
- Thread starter masquereader
- Start date
I think that many of us would agree with your post @masquereader Coping with dementia is bad enough without the addition of problems with freezers, cars etc., and it is always hard to find people to carry out jobs at this time of year.
As for people asking if you enjoyed your Christmas, they obviously do not know just what a carer's life is like. Hopefully over the next few days you will be able to do a few things just for you and begin to feel a little more positive.
As for people asking if you enjoyed your Christmas, they obviously do not know just what a carer's life is like. Hopefully over the next few days you will be able to do a few things just for you and begin to feel a little more positive.
These are not people who know me and my situation: it’s people I bump into in passing: on the bus top, delivery drivers, shop assistants. I know they’re just trying to be friendly. I’ve been there myself, before all this started. It’s nice: they want to share the Christmas spirit, and I hate spoiling it
Don’t feel bad. Like @SeaSwallow wrote, it is hard dealing with dementia alone then having all the other things come up. You will be surprised how many people actually do not take it wrong when one does not sound or look so cheerful when they greet or simply ask about our day(s). We all have things going on in some form or another in this world and I believe people can relate and offering a warm greeting and/or smile to others is their goal and the response is secondary. I once was at the checkout line at a grocery store; a young lady complemented me on my hair. I believe my expression of surprise when I told her thank you overpassed my smile and tone as I said thank you that she replied “I have just made it important to tell others something nice everyday to bring a smile”. Hoping you get sometime for you soon.
