My husband has always lived life against the trend . He is 62 and in his youth his mother abandoned him and he suffered a few significant life changing events. Strong minded or lack of stickibility caused him to change jobs frequently the last being the sack for violence . He has a temper which he controls by cutting off contact with the other person - often they have done little wrong . We started our own business and to a large extent he was cushioned from these issues as I was the major player in the office. His lack of logic confused me and we used to row . The frequency increased imperceptibly over the years and staff began to notice . We arranged hobbies for him and time out of the office . None of this worked and in March 2915 we he agreed to a gp visit . He was referred to a memory clinic and a ct scan showed nothing . A subsequent MRI scan didn't raise any alarms except for a chance finding of an accoustic neuroma . Cognitive testing (3 months apart) showed deficiencies, this is to be repeated early next year but in the meantime the psychiatrist said that IF he was to speculate , the diagnosis would be front temporal denentia . He lacks understanding particularly if the tasks are slightly complex , new or require the need for flexibility. He is extremely anxious about time keeping and seems to be using so much energy just to function at work with minor tasks . He gets so many things wrong that it has dented his self esteem and thinks that I constantly criticise him when I try to help him or correct mistakes . It is effecting our children too and think I may need to get support as to how to cope . I feel so angry when he constantly forgets , constantly makes mistakes and has little understanding of how hard this is for me .
Husband with speculative diagnosis
- Thread starter Myjamfactory
- Start date
Hello
I doubt there will be any understanding from your husband how this is for you. Some people with other forms of dementia often have some insight into their illness but many with fronto temporal dementia ( FTD) do not seem to.
Whatever form of dementia, the early stages are extremely difficult and it is a very steep learning curve for you as the carer. Sad to say it will probably be a very one sided learning curve because your husband may be unable to learn anything , especially I ally as his condition will be changing continually
I'm sorry if this is doom and gloom for you. All I can say is get as much help as you can, as early as you can and take the support others with experience of FTD can offer.
I doubt there will be any understanding from your husband how this is for you. Some people with other forms of dementia often have some insight into their illness but many with fronto temporal dementia ( FTD) do not seem to.
Whatever form of dementia, the early stages are extremely difficult and it is a very steep learning curve for you as the carer. Sad to say it will probably be a very one sided learning curve because your husband may be unable to learn anything , especially I ally as his condition will be changing continually
I'm sorry if this is doom and gloom for you. All I can say is get as much help as you can, as early as you can and take the support others with experience of FTD can offer.
Myjamfactory. I could have written your post myself a year or two ago. My husband was diagnosed with FTD in February of this year. We had been running our own business together in France for 17 years; I am now in the process of putting it up for sale. My experience is that my husband has no notion of what is wrong with him, and has resisted any suggestion that there is anything amiss. Those who love him, including myself, have slowly and painfully learnt that this is not up for discussion. Likewise, gradually I had to accept first off that he was not able to help with the business any more, although he had to think that he was still participating. This involved a lot of 'loving deception'. Secondly, I had to accept that I could not run the business alone, and that therefore it had to be sold. Acceptance is a long, hard road, and I've only just started travelling down it. PM me for more info any time...
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Just to add... He really CANNOT get how difficult things are for you. That's part of the disease. And you have to work behind his back to repair any mistakes he has made and try not to point it out to him. You have to be , um, very flexible...it makes life easier and more enjoyable!
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That all sounds very familiar myjamfactory. Its good that you have a GP that knows about FTD - ours said that OH was having a mid-life crisis, had marital problems (my fault!!!) and was depressed!!
You might find this fact sheet useful
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=167
and you might find the FTD forum helpful
http://www.ftdsupportforum.com/
You might find this fact sheet useful
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=167
and you might find the FTD forum helpful
http://www.ftdsupportforum.com/
