Husband with dementia

[Daisyalice]

We are in the dementia journey, please how do other carers managed with anxiety, I am finding sleep very difficult

 

[SAP]

It is such a stressful condition to navigate, carers often feel totally overwhelmed. It might be worth seeing if there is a carers group near you where you can talk to other carers in your area.

Support where you live | Carers UK

www.carersuk.org

And these forums are always available if you need any advice or support or just to vent.

 

[jennifer1967]

We are in the dementia journey, please how do other carers managed with anxiety, I am finding sleep very difficult

hello @Daisyalice by going day by day and trying not to worry about the future and what problems you might need to deal with. you dont say how long you have dealt with dementia. if recent then take a breath and know anything you might need to ask or rant about, you have found a safe space to do it. it will take time but get all the support you can.

 

[brucker]

I understand how you feel my wife has had dementia for almost 3 yrs. just take a deep breath. I try to watch tv or set on my computer after she goes to sleep it helps me.

 

[Daisyalice]

Thank you for your kindness. Reading the threads from the forum have really helped.

 

[Daisyalice]

I am so worried I will be ill from not sleeping and will let him down. I have tried everything . is there any help%

 

[Daisyalice]

I really want to be the best I can be and look after him.

 

[jennifer1967]

I really want to be the best I can be and look after him.

slow down. i think thats all we really want to be the best but we are human as well. dont put so much pressure on yourself, i always think if hes fed, clean, decent then anything else is a bonus. im not super woman and ive learnt to just prioritise which bits i do. im more relaxed about his care now that in the beginning. i couldnt have sustained that but have a happy medium. i wouldnt stress or become ill and take it as it comes and not think of the future as it can become overwhelming.

 

[Kevinl]

As Jennifer says, slow down, it can be a marathon race not a sprint. If nothing else posting on here for something over 10 years has taught me that, wife originally then mum too, carer burnout hits us all differently don't let it ruin your life too. K

 

[Daisyalice]

Thank you so much. You makes things seem so much clearer and better, I will certainly look at things differently.

 

[jennifer1967]

Thank you so much. You makes things seem so much clearer and better, I will certainly look at things differently.

nobody would want it but just need to work with it in whatever way you can

 

[Jools1402]

It might help with your anxiety if you got all the "practical" things in place so that you don't become overwhelmed. They don't all have to be done immediately but sooner rather than later. I mean things like power of attorneys and wills. Perhaps a care needs assessment and carers assessment by Social Services will flag up if any extra help is needed. Perhaps see your GP if the anxiety persists.
You are still the same couple as you were before this disease. Tomorrow is just another day which may - or may not - throw up some new challenges. You will cope - hopefully for a long time - until you can't cope and then it's time to call in the professionals. You don't have to be alone with this.

 

[Daisyalice]

thank you again, most things are in place, other things I hadn’t thought of. I do t feel so isolated now.

 

[Kevinl]

Always someone here to listen/read or whatever, you're never alone on here. K

 

[Sadlady]

I don't cope well with stress, but sometimes it's due to things unrelated to dementia itself-such as all the admin. I have to do as my husband can no longer do it. Little things such as parking and having to deal with tech. and utility companies etc. What works for me is to get as organised as possible and to simplify day to day tasks. Most important is routine. And give yourself treats. Dealing with the unexpected is stressful, having a routine helps you know what is happening and when. Memory Clinic advised the importance of routine for my husband who is also stressed by not knowing what is happening to him and not being able to express it. And don't be afraid to ask for help-see what you can find in your area.

 

[maggie6445]

I am so worried I will be ill from not sleeping and will let him down. I have tried everything . is there any help%

Hello @Daisyalice , I'm sorry you're not sleeping well ,it really does affect how is you deal with life.

I used Kalms ,the herbal tablet. The night time version helped me sleep and the Kalms day tablet I used to make me feel more capable! I took them as and when I felt I needed a bit if help. If you need something more frequently or longer term then discuss it with your Dr.

I remember very well being awake still at 3 am and worrying whether I'd cope during the day. I'd sit doing a sudoku and eventually fall asleep.

I'd suggest not looking much further than the next stage so you can be prepared ,bedding for incontinence for example and POA .

But ...also try to enjoy life as it is. Join dementia groups for support, you'll be made welcome and will make new friends. I'm a big fan of groups,they have been my lifeline when I've felt overwhelmed. Just talking to others in the same position is anxiety reducing for me .

Take care of yourself

 

[Daisyalice]

Thank you for your lovely threads I get great comfort from them.