• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Husband with dementia

Mollyspal

New member
Apr 22, 2020
3
Hello, this is my first time contacting the forum. My husband was diagnosed in November 2019 and the Consultant stressed the importance of being active and of maintaining strong social links. In the current situation this is of course impossible and I don’t know how much this is contributing to his increasing confusion. He has daily hallucinations, often small children who may be our grandchildren, although an ‘old couple’ appear as well and now people he hasn’t seen for years. He has mobility problems also and this makes it more difficult for him to leave the house unaccompanied otherwise he would go out and his safety would be compromised. A neighbour brought him back a couple of weeks ago after he left the house one evening when I was upstairs. Life can be wearing at times, especially when he doesn’t sleep at night and becomes agitated. He gets exasperated with me because I don’t see his visitors and his speech is also indistinct and that just adds to the communication problems and his frustration
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,342
Merseyside
Welcome to DTP @Mollyspal
Is the GP aware of the hallucinations & agitation? If not, I’d talk to them about it.Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,363
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Mollyspal. I agree it would be worth contacting your GP as he/she may be able to do a telephone consultation.
Are you doing OK with getting grocery slots etc? Councils should be checking up on vulnerable people so it might be worth checking to see what support they provide and if any of it would be of use to you.
As to keeping your husband occupied, what did he like to do and is there anyway you can adapt things so that he'll have something to enjoy, a bit of gardening, watching TV, craft?
This is such a difficult time but you've come to the right place for help and support.
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
842
Pratteln Switzerland
Welcome to Talking Point....it must be a very hard time to start this journey of Alzheimers. You did not say how old your husband is? Hallucinations can sometimes be quite comforting.....children and old friends. That sounds ok.....but if they are causing him problems and make him disturbed then I would speak to the doctor...Is he on medication which could lead to hallucinations. When my husband took Aricept he had hallucinations, in the beginning with that med. But he no longer takes it. Good luck and you will find good support here.
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
321
Hi Mollyspal,
I don't want to be gloomy but my husbands hallucinations started like this, mainly making him happy, old friends and like yours, sometimes children. Some were even amusing, such as 'the Royalty' wanting him to play in a football match. With time though some, not all, of his hallucinations became very troubling (evil ppl in the house) and made him increasingly challenging to cope with. Like yours he also has sleeping problems. It led to him evetually needing to be hospitalised to have his meds adjusted, and he's still there though ready to move to a care home now.
I agree with the advice to ccontact the GP before it (possibly) gets worse, as hallucinations can make dementia much harder to cope with. Medication helps to reduce them.
 

Windy28

Registered User
Jan 8, 2020
81
Hi Mollyspal,

Like me recently, you have found this forum. I am in the same boat as you. My OH has Alzheimer's and I am learning all about it. Check in here, ask questions, you will get advice and informed information to help you both through this challenging time.

KEEP SAFE
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
272
Hello @Mollyspal ' Have these hallucinations come on suddenly? I ask because my mother, who has advanced vascular dementia, has recently had hallucinations and delusions due to a urine infection. I'm always boring on about urine infections but they are very common and can cause immense confusion and changes in behaviour. My poor mother thought she was pregnant and the carers had taken the baby away, along with all sorts of strange visitations. Definitely worth talking to the GP if you haven't already.
 

GMRB

New member
Oct 24, 2019
3
my 71 year old husband has Lewy Body dementia and Parkinson's. He hallucinates and believes other people live with us. He makes coffee for them, sets places at meal tables for them, believes they come out with us in the car (before lockdown), so wants to wait for them. I just tell him they've found their own way home, or they have gone out for a meal, but it is wearing. He often asks if I can see them and I say no. Probably shouldn't. I ask him to go and touch them. He has lost all concept of time so will get up at any time between 1am and 6am and go and have a shower. Often wanders around at night. Shopping is hard during lockdown, although a bit easier now only one of a couple allowed in store. At least he doesn't get lonely - he's got all these other people in the house!! As someone else wrote, his speech is poor and indistinct and his balance is not good. We used to walk miles but not now. Last year he did a guided walk when we were on holiday, but he wouldn't manage that now. He sleeps a lot during the day - wish I could. I'm just worn out trying to cope and do everything at home.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,497
Nottinghamshire
Hi @GMRB

My dad went through a phase of seeing things and people I couldn’t and making tea for lots of people. I think he’d slipped back in time to when we were a family of five all living together. He often used to ask me where everyone was and I’d tell him they were at work or shopping. He’d often complain they were late and should be back by now! I found it best to go along with dad’s version of the truth as much as possible.
This was a passing phase but once his internal clock broke he used to sleep during the day a lot and wander at night. I didn’t live with him so mostly I got to sleep at night, although I did get the odd phone call..

If you can’t sleep during the day is there another room you could sleep in if your husband could be safely left to do his own thing at night?

I know it’s incredibly difficult at the moment but I hope you can get some help around the house when this lockdown is lifted.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
263
hes not got hallucinations as yet but he has exaggerated his impatience. he wants it done yesterday which is hard as we may need other people to help out. he looks out the window for them to come and will keep going until i jump up and do whatever he is fixed on. its an emergency to him but really just a nuisance to any one else.he gets restless especially after our dinner. but thank goodness he sleeps all night. i know that will not be the case further along. something else to look forward to.
 

Mollyspal

New member
Apr 22, 2020
3
I cannot thank all of you wonderful people enough for replying to my first post and am sorry I didn’t come back online sooner but I was just preoccupied. I see so many similar experiences in your comments. I feel that I can share with you, in a way that I can’t to my children as I don’t want to worry them, and this is a huge relief. The GP saw my OH just before the lock down and did a urine test and took some bloods but as I expected these didn’t show anything. Over the past few weeks his hallucinations have become a constant presence and at times he has been so agitated I have been unable to leave the house in case he goes out. He also has Parkinson’s disease and his mobility is limited but bizarrely when he is really confused his walking improves. I came back with some shopping the other day to find he had gone and my son in law phoned to say he had walked to their house, having left because there were two women in the living room. This morning his CPN phoned, the first time in ages having been on ward duties recently and therefore unavailable, and she is going to speak to the doctor and get back to me and I think just speaking to her has been a great help. There have been times recently when I would have welcomed Covid 19 into the house with handshakes and hugs as I didn’t think it could be worse than our new normal. I hope I don’t seem a complete misery, I don’t think I normally am or at least the person I used to be
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
263
its unbelievable how fast they can walk when they have a place to go. there was a resident when i was working and had parkinsons and dementia and one minute they was there and then escaped. picked up 1 min later they was gone looked for them on the roads locally and they had managed to go back to their old house. they usually shuffled. even with the security we had. my husband has it mildly but im doing more and more care and hes getting more confused and skills are already going. little concentration used to love a good film but finds it harder to watch. he doesnt read a newspaper but i read out articles i think he will be interested in. he has vascular dementia and that goes down in steps. he likes to sit in the front garden saying hello to passers by interaction
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
157
On Sunday my OH made me stand up in the garden to look at the people on the roof opposite, it was trees, and today on our walk he was convinced what he saw was a wrecked yellow caravan, but it was a white canvas covering a trailer. Sometimes I just agree.
 

Mollyspal

New member
Apr 22, 2020
3
I have found agreeing, or not disagreeing, to be the best way to go. He used to follow the news and read the paper and enjoyed discussing current affairs with anyone he could pin down, but less so now. He can’t drive now and that’s probably what he misses most and he struggles to accept me as the driver! Hopefully I can try and find other diversions for him if this lockdown ever allows it