Husband now refusing all food and drink

[Christabella]

My husband is now refusing all food and drink, despite all our efforts to coax him. Wondering if this is his way of telling us to let him go.... he is completely immobile, sleeps most of the time; but still offers us his cheeky grin and quizzical looks every now and then.....

 

[Angel Heart]

So sorry to hear that you are all going through this. Have you reached out yet to your Husband’s GP to make them aware of this and to ask his GP or out-of-hours GP
to do a home visit?

I spoke to my Mum’s GP recently as he was expecting me to monitor everything and I had to fight for a house visit as I put the point to him that I don’t have any medical experience. Mum’s GP wasn’t going to send anyone for 2 wks!

I put my foot down a little and he then came out the next day to check her over.

Hopefully, you can get this support too (if) you haven’t explored getting a GP out already.

Do you have any additional carers or District Nurses at all to help you, or are you doing it all on your own?

(if) you have any experienced professional carers visiting, could you get an opinion from them?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Christabella

If your husband is refusing, you can`t force him. His mouth must be very dry and I`m surprised he is not feeling some form of discomfort.

All you can do other than ask for outside help is to continue to offer food and especially drink,

 

[Collywobbles]

Refusing food and drink is common at the end stages of dementia. As it was explained to me, the body is slowly shutting down. Digestion is a lower priority than brain, heart and lungs, so the body diverts its limited energy to keeping those functioning.

All you can do is keep offering, but it does seem to be a normal part of the process. There’s nothing that anyone can do to change it unless there’s some kind of slight physical recovery, which triggers eating and drinking to restart.

Sending you best wishes at such a difficult time.

 

[Christabella]

So sorry to hear that you are all going through this. Have you reached out yet to your Husband’s GP to make them aware of this and to ask his GP or out-of-hours GP
to do a home visit?

I spoke to my Mum’s GP recently as he was expecting me to monitor everything and I had to fight for a house visit as I put the point to him that I don’t have any medical experience. Mum’s GP wasn’t going to send anyone for 2 wks!

I put my foot down a little and he then came out the next day to check her over.

Hopefully, you can get this support too (if) you haven’t explored getting a GP out already.

Do you have any additional carers or District Nurses at all to help you, or are you doing it all on your own?

(if) you have any experienced professional carers visiting, could you get an opinion from them?

I should have mentioned he's in a nursing home and well looked after; I'm with him every day though, trying to persuade him to eat when the staff can't.....

 

[canary]

I should have mentioned he's in a nursing home and well looked after; I'm with him every day though, trying to persuade him to eat when the staff can't.....

I think it would be a good idea to talk to the nursing home's GP about this. Your husband may have something like oral thrush which is preventing him from eating

It may, of course, be that he has reached the end, but you need to talk to the doctor

 

[Christabella]

Refusing food and drink is common at the end stages of dementia. As it was explained to me, the body is slowly shutting down. Digestion is a lower priority than brain, heart and lungs, so the body diverts its limited energy to keeping those functioning.

All you can do is keep offering, but it does seem to be a normal part of the process. There’s nothing that anyone can do to change it unless there’s some kind of slight physical recovery, which triggers eating and drinking to restart.

Sending you best wishes at such a difficult time.

Thanks for that; it's just what I was thinking but not wanting it to be so. 😢

I think it would be a good idea to talk to the nursing home's GP about this. Your husband may have something like oral thrush which is preventing him from eating

It may, of course, be that he has reached the end, but you need to talk to the doctor

Thanks for your advice; I'll certainly ask the doctor about the oral thrush; definitely worth a try!

 

[LadyLouise]

So sorry, this is hard. Can you find out if there is a hospice at home service near you, this should be free. Otherwise the district nurse should be giving you advice on mouth care and other end of life care, if it turns out that this continues. Here’s a link to mouth care from the royal college of nursing https://www.rcn.org.uk/-/media/Royal-College-Of-Nursing/Documents/Publications/2023/May/010-715.pdf