I am at a loss to understand that having had my husband dumped solely on my care six years ago with Alzheimer's, an official diagnosis has now been made and a prying, nosey, rude Mental Health Practitioner is harassing us to visit our premises. No matter how many times we ask what she wants, she wont say and we feel like packing up and running away. Has anyone any information please?
Husband is newly diagnosed-but I told the local medical services he had it six years ago!
- Thread starter Foundagoodbooktolivein
- Start date
I can only guess it’s to complete paperwork and ensure you have the info you need following diagnostic. The memories clinic will need to discharge your husband back to his GP once any meds are given and settled so this sounds like a routine visit. Frankly you are fortunate to have visits arranged, in some areas patients are booted out of the door with out so much as a wave goodbye.
That said,you should be told what the visit is about , that is just good practice.
That said,you should be told what the visit is about , that is just good practice.
after my O H was diagnosed, the mental health nurse visited every month for a year,,,just to make sure his mediation was ok , and told us places we could go if we wanted , to meet other folk and have a tea or coffee, we could get transport. we could ask her any questions we had, she was very friendly and polite. after the first year was up..she told us that someone else would visit once a year ...that visit was 2 weeks ago, and this new nurse went over the memory test that was done in 2021...he scored the same this time...we have her phone number and can get in touch with her if we need to...
My mum is newly diagnosed and has a mental health practitioner and a support worker. They give advice, support and provide a good service. It is frightening when a diagnosis is given, but you will need support, and as previously stated - some people have to fight for support.
I'd say accept anything offered, but you have the right to say 'no' too.
Good luck.
I'd say accept anything offered, but you have the right to say 'no' too.
Good luck.
That couldn’t be further from my mum’s experience, dreadful time at the memory clinic, badly mis-treated by the psychiatrist and one visit following diagnosis from a nurse and that was it . Never heard from them again. Just goes to show it is a postcode lottery.
We are still waiting our annual visit - she came beginning December 2022 last time…. Always very friendly when she comes , just asks OH how he is, tries to suggest he goes to day care groups (he agrees but never goes), tells us about local dementia cafes and gives out loads of leaflets. I think they like to come to where the person with dementia lives because people with dementia are usually more relaxed in their own homes. I do have a phone number I can ring if I need help or advice. I would never discourage her visiting as while we haven’t really needed any help up to now I have no idea what the future holds.
Many thanks for that - it's reassuring that that's what they usually want. Because they keep asking us over and over again about whether we own our house, how much it is worth, how much my husband's private pensions are and we have flatly refused to disclose any information to them, they have become quite aggressive and sometimes appear here with no prior warning or appointment. Even to get an appointment at the local Memory Clinic, they tried to insist we told them how much the house was worth - can't really see how that helps them diagnose Alzheimer's myself. I am registered partially sighted and crippled with arthritis in my spine but I manage to look after my husband somehow. No one has ever come here in years and years to see if I am safe cooking every day for two people. Presumably, blind and part sighted people are of less value than those with Alzheimers and it doesn't matter if I burn the house down, only if he does! We have both become too frightened to answer our telephone or our doorbell and neither of us can sleep. I am very scared they are going to snatch him for the money, and what's more to the point, he is terrified they are going to remove him from his home. If they insist on putting my husband in a home, I have not enough to maintain my current address and would become homeless. No body it seems, cares about a carer.
Hi @Foundagoodbooktolivein
Yes, you are right. The Local Authority Adult Social Services probably want to visit you both in your home to see if you are coping.
You have said that you have some health problems. If your OH has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's then I'm sure you'll appreciate that however he is at present will not likely remain the same, and his condition will deteriorate. He will become harder to look after. If you can cope on your own, then that's fine, but there may come a time when you may find it gradually more and more difficult to look after him. People with Alzheimer's can develop challenging behaviours. Some wander off during the day or night. Some may develop balance difficulties and become liable to fall. Some develop difficulties with perception and/or co-ordination. I have to feed my OH her food and drink because she can't handle cutlery or hold drinks steady. Some people develop toilet problems and incontinence, which is hard to deal with.
What I'm saying is, that there may come a time when you need outside carers to help you look after your OH or the house or garden. If your OH needed carers to help him. or you wanted them to relieve you, then the care providing company would charge fees for what they're asked to do.
If the LA Adult Social Services are or become involved then they would want to carry out a means test to see who should pay for the care. The house and it's value is likely to be disregarded as you have a right to live there. If you choose not to have a means test, and you are within your rights to not have a means test, then it will be assumed that your OH has assets in excess of £23,250 and that he will have to pay for his own care needs.
If your OH became incontinent, you can get adult nappies, bed covers, etc free by prescription from the Incontinence Nurse, but to get her involved you need a referral from either the GP or the Adult Social Services. They can also help with other items for free, subject to an assessment of need - such as grab handles or hand rails, or walking frame.
I hope that may assist and I'm sorry if I'm telling you things you already know.
You do not have to get the Adult Social Services involved if you don't want to.
Best wishes
Oh @Foundagoodbooktolivein
I can really sense your panic and stress in your message 😢😢
@Chizz is right they are probably wanting to assess whether you need help and then follow the process for how it is funded.
BUT that is no excuse for being rude, pushy and not explaining things clearly to you. Sadly professionals vary in their empathy and social skills.
Do you have a family member or friend who could perhaps support you during the assessment? That might make you feel more comfortable. And someone to complain if you are treated badly.
I can really sense your panic and stress in your message 😢😢
@Chizz is right they are probably wanting to assess whether you need help and then follow the process for how it is funded.
BUT that is no excuse for being rude, pushy and not explaining things clearly to you. Sadly professionals vary in their empathy and social skills.
Do you have a family member or friend who could perhaps support you during the assessment? That might make you feel more comfortable. And someone to complain if you are treated badly.
S.A.P that's a terrible way to be treated, we didn't need to go anywhere for the memory test...I told the gp that his memory was getting bad, she got the mental health nurse to come to the house and do the test..
as you say...it's a post code lottery, and it shouldn't be ..
as you say...it's a post code lottery, and it shouldn't be ..
My OH is partially sighted. You can register with the local council as Partislly Sighted and ours had a section where they came to us and did an assessment of his needs and gave us advice. They were ever so helpful, she filled in all the forms for us to get higher rate Attendance Allowance, gave us practical tips to make life easier, put us in touch with our local Blind Society who have given us practical help and run social groups, talking newspaper, technical support etc. As a Tegistered Parrislly Sighted person we can get a disabled persons rail card which give a third off on rail travel for both of us, often free or discounted entry to me as carer to events/places of interest.
Let's face it, if they want to know roughly how much the house is worth and who owns it, the information is only a few taps on a keyboard away
That said, they shouldn't really be asking at such an early stage until an assessment has been done. They always seem to though
That said, they shouldn't really be asking at such an early stage until an assessment has been done. They always seem to though
Yes @backin because if you are means tested assessed as a self funder, or deemed to be (eg refusing to have means test), then they don't need to do a care or carers assessment of needs, because they just say "you are on your own" and that is often the end of their involvement!
Didn't happen to me and mum. Social services came and organised her care package for an annual fee of around £250. The hourly care rate is cheaper than going privately and I could approach them when the package needed changing or I wanted to complain about something
I had this with my mum. They wanted to know if she owned her home & had over 20k.
I completely lost the plot with them. Flatly refuses to tell them. My argument was that this was about the assistance my mother needed in the first instance. Once that was sorted I would be happy to talk about anything else.
Be firm, you want the needs assessment before anything else.
If he’s already been diagnosed you can apply for attendance allowance - which is not means tested. Also apply for a 25% council tax discount if you’re not already claiming it.
Assuming you are over pensionable age & the house is owned it will be disregarded in any financial assessment so don’t worry about losing your home.
Do you have any family or trusted friend you can get to support you through this?
That is exactly the same experience we had with my OH. When we moved here, he already had a diagnosis from where we used to live in an EU country. I brought the medical records and test results with me. He had an appointment at the Mental Health Unit, presumably to check his diagnosis and meds were correct. He had a scan which confirmed his previous one I brought. A follow up visit from a community psychiatric nurse who gave him a test - which was easy for him. I was told to leave the room during this. I was told when they’d finished that he was doing well, seemed fine and no need for her to come again. That was back in around 2016. Since then, zilch from anybody. Must definitely be a postcode lottery, I’m amazed at the visits and support some other people seem to have.
