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Husband has vascular dementia

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Kitty246, Sep 13, 2015.

  1. Kitty246

    Kitty246 Registered User

    Sep 12, 2015
    6
    Maidstone, kent
    Hi. My husband has gone downhill a lot this year, and it doesn't seem to be levelling out. He knows where he is going locally and cycles a lot, also likes to go walking. What do others do with their time indoors for the hour or so he's gone? I don't like housework and knit sometimes but I get bored. Any ideas?
    Also my husband this last week or two has forgotten my name, he knows who I am. I am a bit upset by this. Has this affected anyone else?
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,217
    Merseyside
    Do you have to stay in or could you go out for the hour? Go to the gym or catch up on errands?
     
  3. Kitty246

    Kitty246 Registered User

    Sep 12, 2015
    6
    Maidstone, kent
    Thank you Cat. I think I'm going through a bad patch. Sorry to be so selfish
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,217
    Merseyside
    You're not being selfish at all. Keep posting.
     
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    It's very difficult to have to keep on adjusting as the situation constantly changes Kitty. Don't apologise, you're not being selfish, just trying to find a way to cope like the rest of us.

    Hard to know what to suggest without knowing what you're interested in. Do you have to be in when he gets home or could you go out? Would he accept a befriender so that would allow you to go out without worrying?

    You say you like to knit sometimes, can you develop this and/or extend it to making other things? This is what I do and I'm so glad I have that part of my life so I'm never bored.

    I'm sure you will find TP useful, and you may find you spend a lot of time on here:)
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. Lost bluebird

    Lost bluebird Registered User

    Oct 6, 2015
    6
    Hi Kitty

    Look at the positive, my husband wouldn't leave the house at all for a good six months, not even to go to the doctors. He became very aggressive and eventually violent. I found his behaviour towards me extremely upsetting. Everyone said don't take it personally but I found that easier said than done.

    It is hard to adapt, try and do something you enjoy - take care.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. thebes

    thebes Registered User

    Feb 10, 2014
    163
    London
    I find those long hours stuck indoors a challenge too, especially now my OH sleeps so much and we are downsized to a lovely but small flat. Patchwork and quilting have been my saving and absorbing interest. I have always like sewing but not had time to be creative until now. It also has given me a new social group as I use my precious time out while the carer is here to get to classes or workshops when I can. And there is lots to learn online.
     
  8. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    520
    Scotland
    Sorry to hear your hubby has gone downhill Kitty but I can only marvel that he is able to go out walking on his own, and cycling! My hubby has Vascular Dementia but he was already housebound for several years due to physical health problems - he needs help with everything.

    But you ask for ideas on what to do when hubby goes out - well depends on what you like to do. To read for an hour undisturbed would be sheer bliss to me; learn something new (lots of possibilities on line); have a brisk walk to keep/get fit; try out new recipes ...............
     
  9. Bestgirl

    Bestgirl Registered User

    Oct 31, 2015
    39
    London, Ontario
    just coping

    when my husband goes out for his walk and I have a few hours to myself. I get on my mobility scooter and go round the local stores or sometimes I just be lazy and watch T.V. Whatever you do just appreciate the couple of hours to yourself. Hope you can figure out what to do with yourself at these times.
     

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