Husband confused and referred to Memory Clinic

[BuzzyBee]

Hello. I’m new to the forum. My husband is 75 and quite a few years older than me. I noticed charges in behaviour earlier this year that at first I thought were normal for his age but now I suspect he has dementia. Several big concerns happened over summer including going on holiday and he said he knew nothing about it, thought other people were in the house and wanted to go home resulting in us having to return home the next morning. A month later he went on a day coach trip but became so confused that police and paramedics were called. His walking has deteriorated and he walks with a stoop. He thought I had been away for two years and just returned home. Last couple of nights he’s got up in night and then gone back to bed in the spare room instead of the bedroom. Sometimes he gets up in early hours, gets dressed then returns to bed fully clothed. If I say anything he blames me and denies there is a problem. Rafter several months trying I got him to GP and he has had blood test, urine test and CT scan and now been referred to Memory Clinic. He sleeps a lot during day and seems happy to sit for hours looking at newspaper or watching news on to. I work part time and try and find things to do myself to keep mentally and physically fit. Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @BuzzyBee.

Such a worrying time for you. I’m glad you’ve found this forum as you’ll get lots of understanding and support here.

I wondered if you would find this helpful -

Caring for a person with dementia: A practical guide

Are you supporting someone living with dementia? Get your copy of the latest version of our guide for carers.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Gosling]

Hello @BuzzyBee and welcome from me also. There is a lot of shared experience of dementia to be found here so I am glad you have found us.
I'm sorry to read about your husband and his challenging behaviours. At least you have managed to get as far as a memory clinic appointment so well done for that! Nevertheless, it is a worrying time for you I do understand. You may find it useful to post a thread on this section of the forum

Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis

This forum is for people who have concerns about their memory or someone else’s.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

But please remember, you are never alone on this forum; members understand and want to help and support.

 

[Sadlady]

Hi-your experience sounds very familiar. Once police and paramedics are involved it can make things move at a faster pace. My OH is being looked after very well by the memory clinic, but it took a long time to get the tests done by other hospital departments until he required an ambulance as I couldn't wake him up. It is difficult to get used to the odd behaviour-my husband believes there are other people in the house and sometimes doesn't realise this is his home. There is a lot of support on this forum and Alz Society information and helplines. I started my dementia journey in 2021 and phoned the support line-within a few weeks I had a visit from a local dementia advisor who contacts me regularly. The memory clinic nurses are available too and are in regular contact because of medication. They may help you find local support and Age UK can provide respite care. Hope the memory clinic appointment goes well.

 

[BuzzyBee]

Thank you for your reply and sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. Have used the Alzheimer’s Society before as both my father and stepdad were diagnosed with dementia in the past. holiday in the summer lasted 24 hours as he became confused and thought he was there for a meeting with other people in the house. We ended up having to come hime the next morning. I have noticed he sleeps a lot during the day, and over last few months has started to walk slowly, usually a few paces behind me and his posture has changed and he now stoops. Sometimes nothing unusual happens for weeks then, for instance, the other evening he suddenly Asked me if I was moving back in, as he thought I had been away for a couple of years. It is sad to see him being confused and I try to reassure him without disagreeing.