My Dad is 78, has been diagnosed with AD 2 years ago, after a chest infection. He also had prostate cancer and radiotherapy...last year his dementia got worse after an infection with Clostridium Difficile...he seemed to get over this during past year, but after a flu one month ago, he started again much worse with behavior changes and asking strange things. My Mom is his first carer, being helped with home tasks by a lady which I pay monthly. It seems that my Mom is handling very hard this situation. She's also 78 and has
osteoarthritis and glaucoma. I really don't know how to help them more, I am paying this lady, I am paying and help them with bills and shop for them each week what they need.
First is that it's very hard for me to accept my Dad's condition, until 1 year and a half ago he still was able to manage with all house-working tasks and now he is asking why he is in this home, since he knows that he has another home, but with the same furniture and so on...he asked today my Mom where was she in the last 70 years and from where she did appear in his life....he still can go outside for short walks in the park, a week ago he payed chess with some partners from his youth but still disoriented and very confused. His last MMSE was 22...seems strange to me...
Second is that my Mom is not willing, in any circumstances to move him in a care home now and never. She asks me more and more money, she is very demanding and has not empathy for me, nor for my husband. She wants first of all someone to take care permanently and also to drive her where she has to go....I feel very depressed and hopeless...I love very much my Dad, he was all my life my guardian angel, but I feel now that I will be lost also together with him...and still want to live my life...I have no children, my husband has a daughter from his first marriage, but she's not close to us...I am 52 and not knowing what to do further...no one can help, because they don't understand...even my psychiatrist says that this is life and we have to accept easier that we loose our parents...I am aware of this, but how to deal with my feelings?
osteoarthritis and glaucoma. I really don't know how to help them more, I am paying this lady, I am paying and help them with bills and shop for them each week what they need.
First is that it's very hard for me to accept my Dad's condition, until 1 year and a half ago he still was able to manage with all house-working tasks and now he is asking why he is in this home, since he knows that he has another home, but with the same furniture and so on...he asked today my Mom where was she in the last 70 years and from where she did appear in his life....he still can go outside for short walks in the park, a week ago he payed chess with some partners from his youth but still disoriented and very confused. His last MMSE was 22...seems strange to me...
Second is that my Mom is not willing, in any circumstances to move him in a care home now and never. She asks me more and more money, she is very demanding and has not empathy for me, nor for my husband. She wants first of all someone to take care permanently and also to drive her where she has to go....I feel very depressed and hopeless...I love very much my Dad, he was all my life my guardian angel, but I feel now that I will be lost also together with him...and still want to live my life...I have no children, my husband has a daughter from his first marriage, but she's not close to us...I am 52 and not knowing what to do further...no one can help, because they don't understand...even my psychiatrist says that this is life and we have to accept easier that we loose our parents...I am aware of this, but how to deal with my feelings?
