How to respond

[peter1.]

wife diagnosed dementia few month back,I posted that medication trazodone had made a big difference,,but lately the occasions where she thinks people have been then disappeared, are more frequent try to say that we are ,and have been alone,,asks how they have got out, if I try to ignore ehe questions, says I am not telling the truth and is fesup of being lied to..Is there anyone out there experiencing similar situations if so how best to respond......trazadone 2 times per day 50mg....would stronger med help?? Thanks.....

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

She's seen these people and no amount of persuasion is going to change her mind. Try "yes dear but they've gone now, I showed them to the door so we can have a nice cup of tea together. Do you want a biscuit with yours?"

 

[Kevinl]

I so live that post my mum's daughter, except it's coffee in our house not tea, biscuits are a given, preferably chocolates ones. K

 

[Kevinl]

Truth is you have to learn in their world when they can no longer live in ours. K

 

[peter1.]

She's seen these people and no amount of persuasion is going to change her mind. Try "yes dear but they've gone now, I showed them to the door so we can have a nice cup of tea together. Do you want a biscuit with yours?"

Thanks will give it a trry

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @peter1. You might find this link on Compassionate Communication useful. Not always easy to follow but it does help.

Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Harky]

@peter1. My 80yr.old wife also suffers with hallucinations regularly, she also believes one of them lives in one of our spare rooms (this actually has some benefits).
I just live in her world 🌎 with everything she does/says.

 

[peter1.]

Thanks..good help

 

[Kevinl]

I was my mums daughter even though I had a moustache and a beard at the time and a wife who was apparently was my little sister, even though I only have 3 brothers, no sisters.
Without being patronising to sometimes with AZ as I say you have to live in their world when they can't live in ours.
I was going to suggest she called me Karen rather than Kevin but even I have my limits.
My wife (early onset) thought I was any number of people, but all they both did remember was that I was someone they loved, made it all worthwhile for me.
K