I wish you and others in the same boat all the best. My own wife had been suffering from memory loss, mood swings, weird dreams, delusions for some years and my daughter decided to push things with our GP. The doctor seemed completely uninterested. She ate her lunch at her desk as she chatted, asked my wife questions on family names, numbers, her birthday etc and said there was no problem! She then turned to me and asked me why I thought there was a problem. Totally unprofessional, insensitive and it placed me in a terrible situation. I am a professional businessman, deal with many staff and cope with all sorts of "people issues" and I had never seen anything like this.
The diagnosis eventually happened months later, with perseverance and patience, But things do not happen fast and I suppose years can go by and so much grief and pain is felt by families.
In my case, my wife had a dream where she felt sure I was going to kill her and our dog, then alerted all of her business colleagues. I then had the police arrive, assuming that my wife was in danger and it took two hours to put them in the picture. But that ratcheted things up quickly and I suppose all sorts of H&S boxes were ticked. My wife was later visited by a team and assessed and taken away. That was one year ago and she is now in a care home and steadily going downhill. She is a `different person to chat with, the different meds change behaviour in many ways and I am not really in her life now, after 49 years of marriage.
But its not all about me. Its all about my wife and her illness and I tell the family that we need to live in her new world, what she believes and likes, show her the same love and attention as before.
Its tough on partners. I keep myself busy with work and I have a young staffy for company, sold the house and moved back to just across the road from where I met my wife and so I still have those wonderful memories. I have learned that tears can be endless, that its good to have a little weep alone, to keep close to family members and to support them as needed.
The point I am trying to make is that the urgency and worry felt by a family is not shared by doctors and others. You end up in a queue, feel forgotten and alone, the illness gets worse and your days are full of stress. The NHS budget is a shrinking one and dementia care is not seen as urgent.
Do push and push and call and remind staff that things are going downhill and that you need help and support but mostly some sort of a plan for the future.
Good luck to all, Jack