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How to deal with aggression?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by aga1010, Mar 24, 2015.

  1. aga1010

    aga1010 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2015
    1
    Hi everybody:) I am caring for a gentleman, who, as I presumed, may suffer from dementia. Tomorrow I am going to phone GP to arrange some assessment.

    The problem is that my client is getting very frustrated frequently and his mood is changing in every minute. He is shouting, screaming and swearing and I find it very difficult to cope with. I am a very calm and patient person, so when he is shouting at me I am trying to distract him, but it is not easy.

    I am just working 8 days for him, so I tried to investigate a possible reason of his behaviour. He is not in pain, it is not connected with his incontinence. It is possible that he is frustrated by his state (loss of independence).

    I would really appreciate, if you could advice me how to cope with his behaviour. I am just working one week and I started to consider leaving after the first day of work, like the last 6 carers did...
     
  2. Girlonthehill

    Girlonthehill Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    32
    Dorset
    Hi, I am surprised that he has not been assessed fore it well done you for getting that for him.
    I assume from what you say that you are a carer rather than a family member. From a personal point of view I would run like hell! Most of us on here have to go through what you are experiencing with no way out as we are caring for a family member that we love dearly and it is so hard.

    Would I do it for someone other than a family member.. No way. It will only get worse, much worse!

    Sorry to be so hard/ cynical/ tough but there is a long road in front of you with this man. Good luck and well done for hanging in longer than any of the others
     
  3. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    333
    rct
    Hi!
    I am a unpaid carer for my dad..i am also a volunteer..and currently running dementia friends session as a df champion..

    Sounds like you are doing a good job...
    Frustration and agression in people with dementia is communication..
    Admitedly their moods change..my dads do from minute to minute..but very often its for a reason.. people assume that they dont feel pain in the same way..youve looked at that.

    Try and see things through his eyes..he trying to communicate..its all jumbled up..his memory is in his younger years or childhood..and hes in a place he doesnt remember..living as a man..and hes frightened..because hes only got his old memories to assess things with..

    Find out what he likes...does he present as a certain era..like hes talking about things he did..or an old whistle kettle etc...

    If his disease has progressed considerably...is he in his childhood?..was that bad good no mum or dad?...

    The dementia friends session is an absolute must for families communities...everyone..
    Ive done many courses...and they dont always say what ive just mentioned....
    Well done for thinking outside the box...best wishes.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     

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