How to cope with dementia patients

[gwenhahn]

Dear All,

Could I please ask a quick question. My mother has dementia (already for the past 8 years) and she has gotten to the stage where she sleeps very badly at night and wants to wake up every 15 mins - 30 mins to go to the bathroom. If we are lucky she wakes up around twice a night, if we are unlucky, it can go up to 10 times a night. Is there a solution to this?

She does not wish to wear a diaper so that is out of the question unfortunately.

I would be grateful for any suggestions on dealing with this.

Many thanks.

 

[lin1]

Hello Gwenhann
Welcome to TP

I found when my mum became incontinent It caused a lot more work , mum thankfully was oblivious she would have been really mortified if she had known

I am unsure if you are in the UK as you used the term Diaper
If you are in the UK I suggest you contact the Continence nurse via Mums gp surgery, they may well be able to help provide some suitable products and may be able to provide Kylie sheets ( washable bed pads) they may also (some dont anymore) provide pull ups (incontinence panties that dont look like to much like a nappy/diaper)

I went down the route of Disposable bed pads, the only ones our continence nurse would provide were quite frankly usless as they were nowhere near absorbant enough, but I found some good ones online , high absorbancy look out for the brand Euron if u wish to use disposable pads, panties as I found them to be better

You can buy Kylie sheets online too

Apologies if you already do this with your Mum
I am thinking if you use a term such as pantie rather than Diaper your mum may be more inclined to wear them at night
Though I am sorry to say, I believe for a time that no matter what your Mother wears or what bed protection is used , your Mother will still wake up wanting to go to the loo

I hope this helps and I am sure others will be along soon with some good suggestions

 

[gwenhahn]

Thank you

Dear Lin,

Many thanks for your suggestions and you are right, no matter what mom wears at night, she will still get up at night, this might be more to do with her state of mind rather than her really needing to go to the bathroom.

I guess we will just have to shoulder on regardless but I find this website comforting, it is nice to know that there are fellow family carers out there who really understand and empathise and who are on the same wave length. I have had people telling me to be more patient and understanding! but they do not understand the frustration and sheer helplessness we feel sometimes when dealing with this situation, we are all only human and endurance levels can be stretched beyond endurance when you face having interrupted sleep days on end, no respite etc, holding down a full time job wondering how long this can go on for..........

best regards and take care.

 

[21citrouilles]

My mother has the same problem, getting up several times a night to pee. She was given pills to relax the bladder muscles, and it helped a bit.

 

[gwenhahn]

21 citrouilles

Can I please know the name of the pills your mom took? My mom was prescribed VEET but it made her ankles really swell so that unfortunately became a non option!

Best regards.

 

[rajahh]

My husband was prescribed a bladder relaxant it was Tamsulosin. It is meant to help the bladder to empty more completely therefore making the need to go to the loss less frequent.

Jeannette

 

[SussexDave]

Hi there,

I understand your plight very well. As you say this is a psychological problem rather that a physical one. My mum has times when she behaves as you describe. Up to the toilet every few minutes throughout the night. As the night progresses she spends more time in the bathroom and sits there talking to herself and obsessing about when she last urinated, this wakes anyone else in the house (usually me) and I get little sleep that night. I have to constantly reassure her that everything is OK and persuade her back to bed if she has been in the bathroom for a long time. I no longer work, in fact I retired to look after mum. Fortunately this is not every night but when it happens more than one night in a row I get worn out and have to sleep during the day.

I hope that the incontinence panties provide some reassurance and you are able to sort it out.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I admire someone who can provide this level of care and hold down a full time job. You may have to think about what to do in future especially if your mother's condition worsens.

My thoughts are with you

 

[gwenhahn]

Tamsulosin

Dear Jeannette,

Thanks for the tip re Tamsulosin, I will ask the doc next time I see him whether Mum can be prescribed this as well.

Dear Dave
Thanks for your email. My sisters and I share the burden of looking after my mom but it is me and my 1 other sis who share the 'bathroom' roster for mum i.e. if she is restless then we two take turns to help her to the bathroom.

Honestly, I am hoping that nature will take its course before she gets to the stage where she is totally unaware of her surroundings of who we are, what the time of day is etc as I know Mum would not want to carry on like this either. She knows she is not well but she is comforted by the fact that her girls look after her.

I also think you are admirable that you are looking after your mom in your retirement when you could so obviously be roaring off into the sunset and having an idyllic life of doing what you want to do rather than having these additional duties.

Like I said, hope, optimism that we are doing the right thing and we will get through this eventually.

Best wishes all and take care

 

[AntheaC]

to pee or not to pee

I found this thread when i was search for sleep problems and jsut thought I would add my experiences. My mum was becoming increasing incontinent day adn night so we tried the pants and pads, seat protectors (age concern has some very obsorbent ones that look like velvet so not too noticeable) and a sheet protector under her sheet. We thought it was the need to pee that was getting her up all through the night as she kept saying seh needed to go to the toilet. We did the tests for UTIs regulary and assured her we werent bothered if she had an accident just to get help but she kept doing it. When she went into hospital she was fitted with a catheter as the nurses were not as willing as us to help her to the toilet every half hour or so. She has kept it in at home and is still waking. My dad just points to the bag and says remember but she finds it ahrd to setle. I think it is part of the habit forming problems that occur - like a groove in a record the more they do it the more they do it!! Also sleeping is becoming a bigger and bigger problem anyway. I just wonder how you ahve got on since you posted this and how the general sleeping is going?