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How should I respond

paulineanna

Registered User
Oct 25, 2013
12
west Lancashire
This morning we have been out in the car I am not the driver of course. We were out about 2 hours, I am supposed to miss every pothole in the district and I "drive too fast" even though I keep to speed limit which is either 30 or 40. When we got home my husband starts saying "SHE" is going to have to watch what she is doing, driving too fast thinks she knows it all etc etc - It was me he was talking about but who he thought is was I don't know. I am at the moment able to ignore the way he speaks to me which if anyone was listening he sounds awful. But the talk about the other person makes me wonder do I say "it was me" or leave well alone. By this afternoon he has not said anymore, now sat watching rugby thinking everyone is going to start a fight etc. Is all this part of Alzheimer's process?
 

Jaffy

Registered User
Oct 24, 2013
174
74
Ohio USA
My husband complains about me aloud, outside while doing any/all chores! I hate to think of what the neighbors think of me. He seems well to everyone but his family and closest friends are beginning to suspect, something isn't right. As our grown kids say, Dad has done that before we left home, Mom. It has become so "common" I forgot it had been, that long! So sorry for you. Jaffy
 

Padraig

Registered User
Dec 10, 2009
1,039
Hereford
Just my perspective

When I chose to care for my wife on my own I did not have a computer nor did I wish to learn from others about Alzheimer's. It was not until the end stage that I purchased a computer and hoped to learn how others in my situation coped. Unfortunately I was unable to find anyone caring alone in their own home 24/7, when their loved one no longer could speak, was bedridden, required feeding, incontinence pads changed etc.

Over the years I learned to work my way through the jigsaw puzzle that was Alzheimer's. Not one to follow in others path I've always did things 'my way'.

As I saw it, as the illness advances the patient is divested of all his/her adult socially induced acceptable behaviours. You are then in the presence of a youth or child, depending on the stage of the illness.
We are all children dressed in the cloak of adulthood. Sometime the cloak slips to reveal a mischievous or angry child.
A good example is when your friend or relative has too much to drink, the inner child is revealed. Not surprising the following morning they can't remember a thing!
 

Dumbly

Registered User
Jun 25, 2011
18
60
When I chose to care for my wife on my own I did not have a computer nor did I wish to learn from others about Alzheimer's. It was not until the end stage that I purchased a computer and hoped to learn how others in my situation coped. Unfortunately I was unable to find anyone caring alone in their own home 24/7, when their loved one no longer could speak, was bedridden, required feeding, incontinence pads changed etc.

Over the years I learned to work my way through the jigsaw puzzle that was Alzheimer's. Not one to follow in others path I've always did things 'my way'.

As I saw it, as the illness advances the patient is divested of all his/her adult socially induced acceptable behaviours. You are then in the presence of a youth or child, depending on the stage of the illness.
We are all children dressed in the cloak of adulthood. Sometime the cloak slips to reveal a mischievous or angry child.
A good example is when your friend or relative has too much to drink, the inner child is revealed. Not surprising the following morning they can't remember a thing!
Dear Padraig Your post was very informative. My father, sister and I have been caring for my mother for 9 years at home but she has finally gone into a NH. I would like someone to really tell me what to expect. I posted earlier about my mother's rapid decline in the last few months. This was particularly apparent this week when I helped her have lunch. Watching my mother who had impeccable table manners grab at her food, stick her fingers in her soup and pull the table cloth away and throw her food all around her shows me that she has regressed to the baby stage now. It is the most distressing situation.