Last summer I visited a village in Suffolk where every shop displayed a sticker saying 'dementia aware'. How refreshing. The other evening my husband and I visited a local fish and chip restaurant. The staff watched him continuously get up and down as he is so restless in the evening and I witnessed them looking at each other and raising eyebrows. I didn't have the opportunity to speak to them as they were so busy but I felt so uncomfortable. I am sure other careers have had similar reactions?
How other people react
- Thread starter Elaine S
- Start date
Sadly I'm not sure whether these stickers actually mean anything. It's the same here, most shops and businesses have them but it may just mean quite literally that they are "aware" of dementia. I'm not even sure that people from that place have any training or knowledge.
I went to a Dementia Friendly awareness session and there seemed to be quite a few people who were from shops and businesses but if just one person from that place goes and they're not there all the time, how "aware" are the others.
I have been in places where they've had these signs up and have seen people who clearly have dementia but they don't seem to be getting any special attention or support. Like you, I've seen young staff rolling their eyes or just looking really uncomfortable so I don't know what the answer is.
I went to a Dementia Friendly awareness session and there seemed to be quite a few people who were from shops and businesses but if just one person from that place goes and they're not there all the time, how "aware" are the others.
I have been in places where they've had these signs up and have seen people who clearly have dementia but they don't seem to be getting any special attention or support. Like you, I've seen young staff rolling their eyes or just looking really uncomfortable so I don't know what the answer is.
Hello Elaine S
I know just what you mean! My dad makes loud rude comments about people. He's fattist, sexist and racist - can't take him anywhere without embarrassment!! Service is too slow, food not the same (it is) - all in a loud voice.
Once at a till where, embarrassed about his inability to get his money right he blamed the young black cashier calling him something very rude and racist. I had to go back and apologise. Fortunately he was understanding - his grandad had dementia too.
I always have to psyche myself up before we go somewhere nice. Most people are understanding but I still feel uncomfortable, especially when people start to look.
I've found that timing is everything so if we go for a meal now it's usually at noon when it's quiet and we can usually get served quickly.
I know just what you mean! My dad makes loud rude comments about people. He's fattist, sexist and racist - can't take him anywhere without embarrassment!! Service is too slow, food not the same (it is) - all in a loud voice.
Once at a till where, embarrassed about his inability to get his money right he blamed the young black cashier calling him something very rude and racist. I had to go back and apologise. Fortunately he was understanding - his grandad had dementia too.
I always have to psyche myself up before we go somewhere nice. Most people are understanding but I still feel uncomfortable, especially when people start to look.
I've found that timing is everything so if we go for a meal now it's usually at noon when it's quiet and we can usually get served quickly.
That's not very professional if the staff are openly rolling their eyes. I wouldn't go back to a place like that. OH complains about the noise often, and really can't handle too many people talking at once. We don't go out in the evenings or at busy times either.
Thankfully, when we have lunch in the communal lounge at our supported housing everyone is very understanding and good humoured when she complains about everyone talking too much.
Thankfully, when we have lunch in the communal lounge at our supported housing everyone is very understanding and good humoured when she complains about everyone talking too much.
In an ideal world everyone would be dementia aware and react with understanding but even some staff in care homes who have had specific dementia training are not able to do this. I didn't feel that I should have to explain or even apologise for something he couldn't control but always did so if Dad said or did something inappropriate I said...I am terribly sorry he has dementia...and left them to it!
Not had any issues with local shops in my area. Local hairdresser and Clarks shoe shop (all with very young staff) bent over backwards to accommodate Mum's needs and couldn't have been kinder or more understanding (esp when Dad was getting frustrated with Mum's behaviour). Only negative encounter was with local A&E which had dementia awareness stickers all over the place yet tried to convince us Mum's dementia (diagnosed several years ago) could in fact be a brain tumour! She only went in there for a routine scan - never again 
I experienced this in a shop for the first time the other day....I guess we have been lucky so far. I was collecting an order and part of it was in a large box. OH wanted to help me carry it, so I said, you take the box. He went to pick up a box with leaflets that was on the counter. As I went to correct him, the staff said in VERY loud voices....no this box. So now I know that dementia makes you deaf. Being in a wheel chair has the same effect.
A couple of years ago John disappeared for ten hours. When the police found him they brought him home then backtracked using CCTV from where he was found to see if they could spot where he’d been.
One of the places was Costa Coffee where he bought two takeaway coffees and said he’d like cakes but had no more money.
The girls realised the situation and gave him a bag with coffees and cakes and as it was at the end of the day didn’t charge him. I went to thank them when I found out and they were lovely. A taxi driver on the other hand put him out of the cab when again he said he wasn’t sure if he had enough money. If only he’d told the police a lot of worry would have been avoided.
One of the places was Costa Coffee where he bought two takeaway coffees and said he’d like cakes but had no more money.
The girls realised the situation and gave him a bag with coffees and cakes and as it was at the end of the day didn’t charge him. I went to thank them when I found out and they were lovely. A taxi driver on the other hand put him out of the cab when again he said he wasn’t sure if he had enough money. If only he’d told the police a lot of worry would have been avoided.
We shop in the local Iceland as dad likes it there. Girls are great and I have noticed that a lot of elderly go in there with their carers so the staff must be used to it.
I did notice that the lady in front of us was well over 70 and she appeared to be caring for her mum who looked about 100 and was in a wheelchair. Is that going to be me in 10 years time?
Oh well.
I did notice that the lady in front of us was well over 70 and she appeared to be caring for her mum who looked about 100 and was in a wheelchair. Is that going to be me in 10 years time?
Oh well.
Wasn’t that lovely of the girls? I am glad you had the chance to thank them. Stupid taxi driver. Shame you didn’t get the chance to tell him what you thought.
This time last year, I went to the house of a lady in the village who was giving me some books. She told me her husband had been diagnosed with Alzheimers, and I had absolutely no idea how to react to him - I had known him as an eloquent, interesting, gentleman, and now I had no idea what to say or how to pitch my conversation.......
Twelve months later and it is my dear partner who now has this awful disease - I think I am pitching myself right for him - but sometimes I know I am not - and now other people don't know how to speak to him....
Most of the time people just do not know how to react, I am sure.......
Twelve months later and it is my dear partner who now has this awful disease - I think I am pitching myself right for him - but sometimes I know I am not - and now other people don't know how to speak to him....
Most of the time people just do not know how to react, I am sure.......
