How often would you visit ?

[60'sGirl]

My husband was admitted to hospital 3 months ago and thought he would not survive but he did - pneumonia and other problems. Then he was removed to a "cottage hospital" 2 weeks later which is mostly old people with dementia or similar problems. He has Parkinsons, Lewy Body, Dysphagia, double incontinence and just speaks to people who are not there. He mostly does not know who I am when I visit every day. So I have 2 questions.
We were refused CHC a couple of days ago but no reason why from SS - not heard anything else since and I have been told by a friend not to ask as long as he is in hospital care it is costing me nothing. He has just over the limit for free and will have to pay for Self Funding which is 1200 pounds a week where we live - God forbid. -
Question 1 - Should I ask about what is going to happen or let them tell me
Question 2 - how long do you stay for visiting and how many times do you go there,
I go mostly every day and feel guilty if I don't go - it eats me up if I stay home. My daughter in law is a mental health nurse and told me to stop going and go 2 days and 1 off. What do you do?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @60`sGirl

I agree that while your husband is in hospital I wouldn`t worry about CHC or payment. That can be sorted if he is discharged. He sounds very poorly and I can`t see any care home being able to take responsibility for his care for now.

I used to visit every alternate day and our son visited at the weekends. My husband was able to communicate to a fashion and appreciated our visits.

Your husband might not seem to know you when you visit but you will never know., Strange things have happened to people out of the blue and it has given them faith their visits are worthwhile.

There is no need to stay long but I think it`s important the staff at the hospital or care home know this person has a family who care and who will speak for them if they are unable to speak for themselves.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

In a very similar position and visit most days. Visited are carefully timed to coincide with a meal so I can take over feeding. No point in me staying long but this makes me feel as though I've done my bit.

As with you, family say that I do too much so I unsuccessfully, try to cut back.

 

[60'sGirl]

Thank you so much - I do my bit at lunch time and stay for 1,5 hours and my bus journey there and back is 1 hour each way.
Grannie g - the hospital staff are so good to me and appreciate I go and help with his lunch etc.