Im sick of people giving me advice! I dont understand my husbands dementia? People keep giving advice on talk to him about the past, share memories, tell him stories of what has been! My husband is in a care home, which means i am now having to manage on my own money which isnt much as the care home fees take the bulk of the money. My husband is 69years old cannot walk, does not talk, sleeps 23 hours a day has to be fed by carer. I sit and watch him sleep thats all i ever do. He has a cathater, a colostomy bag is type 1 diabetic. And people keep telling me how dementia works! Nobody tells me what to expect, no medical people can tell me how long i have left with him? He has no life, i have no life if im not at the home im sitting on my own. I would love to get some response and share our memories with him, i have never been able too even when the dementia was starting to take hold im seeing the doctor next week to see why his dementia is so different to other residents?
How much longer is my husband having to be tormented!
- Thread starter summerlily1234
- Start date
I'm not sure his dementia is so different. Alzheimers accounts for around 70% of all dementias but there are many others, vascular, Korsakoff, Lewy body, etc. Some are brought on by underlying illnesses such as Parkinson's and possibly your husbands diabetes. He is clearly not a well man. How long he will live is beyond any of us to say.
If your finances are a worry maybe you should get them checked out by an advisor eg from CAB or Age UK to see if you are getting all the help available. Remember that only the assets in his name should go towards his care and those in your name should be protected.
My husband will be going into a nursing home this week I think and I too have to adjust my life in terms of how and when I visit, what I do with my newly found non caring time, and how I organise our finances once my husband's share goes to the care home. It would be a travesty after all we've been through if I sit at home miserable so I intend once I have him settled to take a good look at what is going on in the world that interests me and find out how I can be part of some of it. Fortunately my tastes don't usually cost much and I am at ease in my own company much of the time. I love the theatre but would choose lunch time or afternoon shows which are cheaper. I like to walk but at 75 my trekking days are over so I will join the health walks with our local GP surgery. I was in the past very involved with transcribing historical documents for the National Library of Scotland and will volunteer for that again. So in short anyone in this situation has to accept the inevitable loss of a loved one and look for another route through life.
If your finances are a worry maybe you should get them checked out by an advisor eg from CAB or Age UK to see if you are getting all the help available. Remember that only the assets in his name should go towards his care and those in your name should be protected.
My husband will be going into a nursing home this week I think and I too have to adjust my life in terms of how and when I visit, what I do with my newly found non caring time, and how I organise our finances once my husband's share goes to the care home. It would be a travesty after all we've been through if I sit at home miserable so I intend once I have him settled to take a good look at what is going on in the world that interests me and find out how I can be part of some of it. Fortunately my tastes don't usually cost much and I am at ease in my own company much of the time. I love the theatre but would choose lunch time or afternoon shows which are cheaper. I like to walk but at 75 my trekking days are over so I will join the health walks with our local GP surgery. I was in the past very involved with transcribing historical documents for the National Library of Scotland and will volunteer for that again. So in short anyone in this situation has to accept the inevitable loss of a loved one and look for another route through life.
