Hi - I'm not sure if anyone out there can help but there must be others in this situation. My dear mother is 64 and has AD. She is still at home but we have carers in from 8am till 9pm every day (apart from the odd hour or so).
My father is at breaking point in terms of caring for my mother and is talking about care homes which I just cannot imagine.
I've been looking at care home websites but it just breaks my heart to see photos of these old ladies/men sitting in their chairs.
How do you decide when the person who is your mother (or father) is ready for a home. She has moments of lucidity when she is totally aware of her illness and it just breaks my heart to think that she will be aware of her surroundings and thinking we have 'dumped' her in a home. (her words when she was in hospital last year for 3 months). This is illness is the most cruel thing in the world and I can't help think that a care home will make her worse in terms of the depression/confusion etc. Although there are frequent times when she doesn't recognise her own home. She has several bouts of 'pain' each day which can last for hours but then pass - we think they are down to anxiety but are not sure.
I just don't know what to suggest to my father but realise that we cannot go on like this. His life has been totally ruined too by this horrific illness. As has ours.....
Is anyone else at this stage of trying to work out the future? My mother can no longer dress/bath herself etc, eats very little (a sandwich with a spoon on a good day), can't read/write/watch TV, but during the few minutes of lucidity each day is just lovely and like the old Mum....
I, along with my sister and brother, just don't know what to do...
My father is at breaking point in terms of caring for my mother and is talking about care homes which I just cannot imagine.
I've been looking at care home websites but it just breaks my heart to see photos of these old ladies/men sitting in their chairs.
How do you decide when the person who is your mother (or father) is ready for a home. She has moments of lucidity when she is totally aware of her illness and it just breaks my heart to think that she will be aware of her surroundings and thinking we have 'dumped' her in a home. (her words when she was in hospital last year for 3 months). This is illness is the most cruel thing in the world and I can't help think that a care home will make her worse in terms of the depression/confusion etc. Although there are frequent times when she doesn't recognise her own home. She has several bouts of 'pain' each day which can last for hours but then pass - we think they are down to anxiety but are not sure.
I just don't know what to suggest to my father but realise that we cannot go on like this. His life has been totally ruined too by this horrific illness. As has ours.....
Is anyone else at this stage of trying to work out the future? My mother can no longer dress/bath herself etc, eats very little (a sandwich with a spoon on a good day), can't read/write/watch TV, but during the few minutes of lucidity each day is just lovely and like the old Mum....
I, along with my sister and brother, just don't know what to do...