Hello everyone! I'm new here, so I apologize if I'm doing this right. Like many of you I have a parent with Alzheimer's. And maybe like a few of you, I have negative feelings towards my mom because of all that's happened. See my mom was bipolar and just had a big personality in general, which my dad helped her control. He died a few months before I was born. My mom went off the rails afterwards and stopped taking care of herself all together and her kids. She was bitter at the world and took it out a lot on my brother and I. I developed a lot of self esteem issues and severe anxiety due to many of her comments - calling me fat, ugly, stupid, wishing she had someone else as a daughter, wishing she had never had me or I was gone. She was occasionally violent or had her outbursts. But the thing that really damaged me the most was the fact she didn't care for herself. She knew of her family's history with early onset Alzheimer's, but didn't do much to slow it's progress. So it happened when I was twelve. It's been eight years taking care of her. She's on Nameda and some medication for her mental health but neither do much. My older brother and I are her primary caregivers. She has a sister who offered to help take care of her, for a price, that got angry when my brother and I decided against it. (We don't have money to pay, but found it crappy either way). She was upset and ended up calling social services on us, claiming we were neglecting our mom when we won't. I was fifteen at the time. I guess this is another reason I resent my mom - everyone feels pity for her and cares about her well being, but no one saw how messed up it was for me. Everyone wanted to make sure we weren't neglecting her and yet she was neglecting us. I don't mean to sound selfish, it's just evoked such anger in me for so long. It's always make sure to take care of your mom, never take care of yourself. It's how is your mom, never how are you. No one saw a problem with a teenage girl missing out on her childhood to take care of a woman who should have been taking care of her. Please don't get me wrong, some part of me loves my mom, but then some part of me hates her and resents her. I know she couldn't stop from getting sick, I just wish she had done more to slow it. There was never any doctor visits. No healthy diet. Just simply no effort. In the end it feels like she didn't care about my brother or I. So I guess my question for all of you lovely people is how do I get over my resentment? How do I handle the anger I have for her and the sadness of knowing my mom was never really my mom?