I have found a company that offers companionship and know it would do my OH some good and me to go out with someone else for an afternoon. I have a spa day booked with my daughter and will only worry about leaving him for about 5 hours. I could ask them to take him out on that day but he won’t have it as there is nothing wrong with him. I’ve left him sandwiches before but he doesn’t eat them because he forgets.
How do you get my husband with dementia to accept outside help.
- Thread starter Guzelle
- Start date
hi @Guzelle
is there any way you could have the companion visit a couple of times and introduce them as a friend who wants a bit of company, so your husband is doing them a favour - stay with them the first time and just chat over a cuppa - second time suddenly remember an errand or chore so you leave them together ... in other words build up the relationship before you have the companion say he'd appreciate your husband kindly accompanying him on an outing as he just doesn't fancy going alone
let the companion know some topics of conversation that your husband will enjoy, or even just a favourite TV programme they could watch together, maybe the companion could bring a magazine or book on a topic of interest to your husband
is there any way you could have the companion visit a couple of times and introduce them as a friend who wants a bit of company, so your husband is doing them a favour - stay with them the first time and just chat over a cuppa - second time suddenly remember an errand or chore so you leave them together ... in other words build up the relationship before you have the companion say he'd appreciate your husband kindly accompanying him on an outing as he just doesn't fancy going alone
let the companion know some topics of conversation that your husband will enjoy, or even just a favourite TV programme they could watch together, maybe the companion could bring a magazine or book on a topic of interest to your husband
Could you arrange a friend to come and stay or take him out for lunch? I did this initially when I couldn’t leave my husband on his own.
And initially friends are kind enough, but it does get more difficult as the dementia takes over.
And then it changes, we had volunteers from the local council who came once a fortnight alternate weeks for a couple of hours, as Shedrech suggests above, chatting and looking at National Geographic magazines.
Husband seemed pleased to see someone other than me!
And initially friends are kind enough, but it does get more difficult as the dementia takes over.
And then it changes, we had volunteers from the local council who came once a fortnight alternate weeks for a couple of hours, as Shedrech suggests above, chatting and looking at National Geographic magazines.
Husband seemed pleased to see someone other than me!
Hi:
Why don't you ask them if they would do some cleaning and dusting or some easy repairs while they are there, (he might even want to help them or show them where screw drivers are located).. He might believe they are helping you.
Hi @Guzelle,
My husband does not want anyone but me to help him when I am not at home.
When I have to go away, which seldom happens, I leave him his meal on the kitchen table, because he seems unable to find anything either in the fridge or in the cupboard ...and hope for the better.
I would suggest you enjoy your spa day.
Should your OH forget to eat, do not worry. Nobody ever died because they skipped a meal.
I employed a man to "help in the garden". My husband would spend hours pottering in the garden, but I explained to him that this man could do all the heavier work, and my husband could enjoy planning and picking plants! On days there was no gardening, (oh joy!) the man played chess with him! I had never played chess, and it meant a lot to my husband to have someone to play with! As his illness progressed, there was less gardening done, and the chess game was "adapted", and they made snacks and made their lunch together, and the guy would read interesting articles from newspapers and books to my husband. It worked fairly well until he went to a Nursing Home.
