How do you cope with a grade 4 pressure sore?

[piedwarbler]

Gosh, I've had such compassionate support here and in your PMs and texts, I wish I had time to say what I feel to you all, it would take all day if I did. You are all true good Samaritans.
I am sitting by Mum now. She's eaten two teaspoons of steak pudding gravy, four of yoghurt and a tiny sliver of coconut cake. I tried hiding tiny quarters of her pills in the yoghurt but she spotted them! I just managed to get them all down her but have given up with the liquid paracetamol. She hates it.
Every now and then she moans or swings her head from side to side and once she has said "help! When is she coming?"
Poor mum. I've told her I love her so often. It is torture watching her. I don't know how to help her. X

 

[sallyc]

(((((Hugs))))))

 

[grove]

Hello Pied , Good that your Mum is "Eating " even if only small amounts & well done with the "Meds " in the yoghurt . Am so sorry you find it hard to see your Mum in Pain & think as long as your Mum knows that she is loved by you & is well cared for & made as Comfty etc & is pain free that is good Pied

Sending much Love , Hugs & Support for today & the days to come

Take Care

Love , Peace & BIG HUGS

Love Grove x x x

 

[piedwarbler]

I've been down to tell the nurse and Mum 's moans followed me down the corridor. She's begging me to help her over and over and it's just painful.
She's twisting her head from side to side. She does that when her eye hurts. She gets pain in her optic nerve. I've turned her light right down as brightness hurts her eyes.
She's talking rubbish when she is talking except that help me couldn't be any more clearly or sincerely uttered.
I have prayed for her to be comfy.
The nurse has come in and got her to take the paracetamol. That should help.
She's so kind that nurse. I'm so lucky with where Mum is.
I'm just waiting for her to settle and I'll creep out xx

Crept out at just gone six. The carers were seeing to Mum and being soo kind and gentle.

Mum said a couple of times, "I'm so frightened", and I just tried to reassure her, saying, "There's nothing to be frightened of." Then she kept saying, "I've tried so hard." She is so tired. My beloved mum xxxx

 

[nicoise]

Oh Pied, your poor mum - I hope they keep her comfy.

Thinking of you xxx

 

[ellejay]

I'm so sorry, Pied, it's heartbreaking,

Thinking of you as always

Lin x

 

[CathT]

This is so terribly sad and I send you heart felt sympathy and hope your mum gets some relief very soon. No one deserves to suffer so much. My own poor mum has got the same type of pressure sore but remains fairly mobile. She went to hospital for a fistogram last week and we have an appointment next week with a surgeon. I am dreading this but at least something is being done. Mums sore healed after 3 months intensive treatment administered by district nurses but returned within a week of her being signed off and the pressure mattress being returned.

My heart goes out to you and your mum.

 

[grove]

Oh Pied , Do feel sad for you after reading your " Post " am glad tho the "Kind Nurse " was able to get your Mum to take her "Meds " as you said it should help

Love , Peace & Strength for the days to come Pied & thinking of you both

Love & Hugs

Love Grove x x x x

 

[Mo_N]

Having spent the morning with my mum I have an inkling of what you are feeling Pied. I'm so sorry that your mum is in such distress & hope that she gets some relief very soon.

Thank you for the idea of putting the tablets in yoghurt. I've been having trouble getting paracetamol into mum so I'll give that a go. She hates the liquid stuff too.

Please look after yourself too wont you.

Love
Mo
x

 

[larivy]

Thinking of you pied I know how hard it is love larivy

 

[piedwarbler]

Thank you so much Mo, Grove, Larivy, Sally and everyone xx I could do with a hug xx

 

[turbo]

Hello Pied, I'm thinking of you and your mum. I cannot begin to imagine how awful it must be to see your mum suffering.

turbo

 

[grove]

Oh Pied , Reading your "Post " today makes me feel sad for you , if i could Pied would "jump on the Train " & give you a "Big Real Hug " . Will a "Virtial Hug " do ?

((((( BIG HUGS Pied ))))))


Love , Peace & Comfort dear Pied for the Days to come

Love Grove x x x x

 

[florence43]

Dear Pied. I wish I had the answers. I'd give them all to you and free your mum from pain, and give you both some peaceful times together.

All I can do, in the hope that the GP can provide the answers, is send you love, support and strength for this distressing time and hope that the antibiotics can work their magic on your mum's pain. Nobody can just stand by and watch their mum live in such agony, and knowing you are trying everything possible it must be the worst feeling in the world.

I do hope today is better for you both, xxx

 

[flowerpot]

Hi Pied, just to say that I'm.....

 

[piedwarbler]

I am a bit tired tonight. I read a lot on the net last night about pain, and read some ideas about rubbing the legs of people who are in pain, and trying favourite music to distract. It said people who feel they can help their loved ones with pain are less likely to suffer depression after the loved one has died, I thought that was interesting. I tried this today, I rubbed Mum's leg, and she said it helped enormously. The only thing was she didn't want me to stop so I had to carry on for half an hour!

I fed Mum her tea and tablets, she ate about the same as last night and 50 ml of complan.

I said a lot of things to Mum and she said that I was wonderful, I didn't even have to pay her! She also said, out of the blue, "They look after me so well you know!" which was lovely to hear.

She was very confused and kept saying "Where is Pied? I want Pied!" But in the end I think she knew it was me.

She seemed a little more alert overall.

I was at a breakfast meeting 20 miles away this morning at 8 am so I am ready for bed now! I feel better mentally than I did last night, I am sure this is down to the leg rubbing, because Mum was still in pain. I think I might pop and see her GP tomorrow.

Thanks for all the hugs, they were much needed this morning, I was very tearful!

xxxx

 

[Dazmum]

Oh Pied, I'm so sorry for your mum and you, it must be so distressing, but I'm glad she enjoyed her leg rub, sounds like you are doing a good job, and will become an expert! Is there anything that you can use aromatherapy-wise to help her relax too, or might that irritate her skin? Just a thought, you might benefit from the 'fumes' too. Thinking of you xxx

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi Jennie , how are YOU? - yes, I took in some lavender oil after reading that book about Soul Midwifery that someone recommended (sorry, can't remember who right now, my brain is frazzled!)

It also helps mask the odour from the sore.

I have just heard from the minister who has sent some prayers of comfort for Mum and suggested some other readings too, about being at peace. I will try those tomorrow and see if they help put Mum at peace.

Love Pied xxxx

 

[Saffie]

Dear Pied
i didn'tcome on to TP yesterday as I spent most of the day in bed. I am so sorry that your mother is still so poorly and in so much pain. I think the lavendar oil is good and certainly massaging your poor mum's limbs must help her feel a little more comfortable. Would combing her hair gently help too? I find that very relaxing.
Just sending you all the love and support I can.XXX

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[ellejay]

Hi Pied,
We gently combed my MIL's hair and stroked her limbs and she did seem to relax.

Take care of yourself

Lin x